Third Charm [Action || Accidental Video]

[alwaysadoe]

[Lily wakes up hungry which is a change for her. She eats but because she's dead, she hasn't been really hungry since she arrived in the City. Once she's showered and dressed, she puts on tea in the kitchen and begins a rummage through the cupboards and ice box to find something to eat. She nibbles a bit at that and this, putting it all back after

Comments

Action

[alwaystreasured]

[Snape has figured out how to have this thing alert him when someone from his world has a post. So instantly he's pinged to Lily's trouble. Wasting no time, he rushes out of his house and whips out his wand. The memories he has are the most precious of all.

Lily's smile.]

EXPECTO PATRONUM!

[The silvery light becomes a doe in an instant, rushing to Lily quickly. Once it gets to her, it runs around her to get her attention before turning and walking towards the beach, looking back at her and expecting her to follow.]

Re: Action

[alwaysadoe]

[It's her patronous so following it is almost instinct. She's grateful, not certain where she's going but certain it'll lead her somewhere safe. She stumbles along at first, confidence in the patronous growing as the further it takes her away from the City proper. There's visible relief in her body posture, her walk and her expression as they approach the beach. There's some confusion because she knows Severus' house is on the beach. She's been here with him before in ghost form but that doesn't make any sense. She slows, doubting a bit when they do come to Severus' house. She shakes her head at the patronous. The device in her pocket is still broadcasting but only audio as the video is just her pocket.]

I don't want to hurt anyone.

Re: Action

[alwaystreasured]

[The doe is still guiding her, moving into the house now. She doesn't have any intention of stopping until she comes to an empty room without windows in it. There she stands, looking back at Lily and just waiting.]

Action

[alwaysadoe]

[After a moment, Lily follows anyway, trusting that her patronous isn't going to lead her astray or at the very least into doing something she'll regret terribly. Once inside the windowless, empty room, Lily relaxes a bit. This is all right. At least there's no one here to hurt. She turns to the patronous, still not sure how it's possible. She doesn't even have her wand with her.]

Thank you.

[She'll move to shut the door then, not that it'll do a great deal of good when she can just open it. Or so she thinks.]

Action

[alwaystreasured]

[The lock clicks once the door is shut and footsteps can be heard outside the room. They stop just outside the door. Snape rests his hand on it, silent for a time before he finally speaks loud enough for her to hear him.]

I will keep the door locked until midnight, Lily. It's safer if you are in there.

Action

[alwaysadoe]

[There's a moment of panic when the door locks and then a streak of defiance. Sort of a 'how dare you'. She cycles through all of this rather quickly because rather she likes being locked up or not--she doesn't--she likes it better than she likes biting people.] Severus...

[Give her a moment. There's a lot here to ponder.] How did you--why--your patronous is a doe?

Action

[alwaystreasured]

[A very long moment of silence is what she hears on the other side of the door. How should he answer that, after all? That he loves her? That he can't ever stop loving her?

No. He can't tell her those things. She married James and he will respect that.]

It is the shape of yours.

Action

[alwaysadoe]

[She knows that he used to have a crush on her but she assumes that he moved on eventually and quite honestly she always underestimated the depth of Severus' feelings for her. No one would ever guess that he could be so respectful and so kind.]

I noticed that. [She struggles a bit because she's not sure if she can handle the answers that might come if she pushes this issue. Lily appears to handling her death, James' death and the City very well. For the most part, it's an act for Harry's sake. No one needs their mother to fall apart whether they're a toddler or a teenager. She's not entirely sure she can handle more. With that in mind, she'll ease into this discussion.]

Has it always been like mine?

Action

[alwaystreasured]

[It's like his staple answer when he replies.]

Always.

Action

[alwaysadoe]

[The directness as well as the answer itself takes her aback a bit. She moves to sit down against the door with a sigh. Give her a moment to wrap her head around that. Okay so give her a very long moment.

She doesn't know how to respond to that. She doesn't know how to deal with some of the implications of that. It hints at more than a crush that moved on. She curls the fingers of her left hand into her palm. She's still wearing her wedding ring. Of course she's still wearing her wedding ring and she still feels very much married to James because she is so it's difficult to deal with the idea that Severus--or anyone--might have the sorts of feelings for her that she's beginning to suspect are there. On one hand, it's almost a familiar sort of thing. That's the way it's always been so it feels...safe.

He can't still love her, she argues with herself. While it's only been a couple of years for her since they parted ways, it's been twenty or so for him. That's longer than she can fathom holding onto someone who wasn't even there,

Action

[alwaystreasured]

[He uses his wand to summon a chair to him, setting it down by the door so he can lean against it, just to listen to her. Abandoning Lily is the last thing on his mind. She doesn't want to be alone and so he won't leave her alone.]

I won't leave, Lily.

[He never expected her to return his feelings and is content if she doesn't. That's a fact he accepted long ago when he first developed his. All he knows is that he will stay loyal to her and protect her now that they are talking again. A shame it had to be in death but it's better than nothing at all.

He will take what he can get.]

Re: Action

[alwaysadoe]

I'm hungry and I haven't really been since I got here. I eat but...it's never because I have to. Except today...today--I want to--if you hadn't--. I hate not needing to eat. I hate how quiet I sound.

[And then a pause and a quick shift of topic. Or maybe there's just two conversations going on at once.] Is it random? Your patronous.

[What she's really asking, what she had to work up to, is 'Is it because of me?']

Action

[alwaystreasured]

[It's a good and fair question to ask. Honestly she has a right to know. He's aware of that. Still, he hesitates in answering because of the fact that this is indeed Lily. Snape feels she deserves an answer but that doesn't mean he wants to.

Because this conversation could change everything.]

No. It's not random.

Action

[alwaysadoe]

[It should probably be pointed out that this whole conversation is just going to be punctuated with long pauses as well as her rambling on the things that are driving her crazy right now. Particularly right now because she is hungry and knowing he's on the other side of the door, there's admittedly a part of her that wants to take a bite and see how he tastes. She's ignoring that part of her brain and covering it up with concerns about other things.]

And sometimes I wonder if it's really heartbeat that makes us feel so alive, the way it thunders in your chest or beats too fast at all the wrong times, or if it's just knowing that there's not a heartbeat that makes me feel so dead. And I keep telling myself none of this matters because I've got a second chance and then I feel guilty all over again because why should I even deserve one. James didn't get one. None of Voldemort's victims got a second chance so I ought to be happy because I get a second chance to know Harry. And I am but...

[All the while she's rambling she's trying to

Action

[alwaystreasured]

[Second chances. He's been given so many of them in his life. A chance to have happiness as a child, a chance to be something great in school, a chance to protect Lily, a chance to be good, a chance to see Lily again... But has he deserved any of them? No, he doesn't think so.

Lily does though. She is so good and wonderful. Anyone like her deserves this chance to thrive. He fully believes that. Especially because it is Lily.]

I never got married.

[And the one person he met that he didn't want to spend his life without is just on the other side of this door.

Looking down, he sees the very tips of her fingers. He hesitates before leaning down to brush his fingers over them. Ice upon ice. He can just feel the chill of her skin despite how cool his skin is as well.]

Action

[alwaysadoe]

[The touch of his fingertips on hers is oddly comforting. His skin is cold but she's not thinking clearly enough to guess the truth about it. She rests her cheek against the door and her eyes fill up with tears.]

I don't have to be anything to you, do I, Sev? I don't have to be strong or amazing or everything you ever dreamed I might be. They're all in awe of me for reasons I can't even fathom and I feel like I have to impress everybody. I need to be everything they think I am. But with you...it's okay if I'm just Lily.