it sucks
yep just like everyone else i show up here to write about the bad stuff.... its just when im happy and go lucky i dont feel like sitting down and being like me me me but when im sad and feeling horrible a pity party is fine.
this weekend has been so mixed. the hockey game was quite fun and just hanging out was nice. i like getting to eat with jason at the commons and stuff it makes me feel like we almost go to the same school. saturday the weather was beautiful did some laundry and went antique shopping with jason. and i really honestly had a feeling of wanting to go home didnt know why but chose not to (gas is expensive) but then got a call from mom and had to go home anyway.
katie's mom died.... my neices mom. I guess my ex-sister in law. i have felt like crap since then. i havent done anything and i cant quit crying. this has hit me harder than any other death i've went through. maybe cuz mamaw papaw and eddie were older there kids were mostly grown... and i just see katie. shes 10 and doenst have a mom. it kills me and katies brother kurtis his dad has never ever been anything to him. i just feel so horrible for them and i can't take it. i just want to be home and not here waiting for school... i don't know i can't do anything if i was at home.
katie was doing alright. but she sat down next to a tree and she was crying and i sat down. and she was playing tag with the kids but then she was like i just want to sit here and think about my mom. and she said that she liked looking at the stars cuz it reminds her of karma. and she was telling me that she gets to put flowers on her moms grave. no little girl she be ok with trying to decide lily or daisy for a grave. why does it have to happen. I dont feel like going to class or doing my papers or reading my assignments. i just want to be home with my mom because all of this has made me miss her really bad. i dont know what to do with myself or my time. i wish i had some tylenol pm's to take... cuz i have a feeling its going to be a long night
this weekend has been so mixed. the hockey game was quite fun and just hanging out was nice. i like getting to eat with jason at the commons and stuff it makes me feel like we almost go to the same school. saturday the weather was beautiful did some laundry and went antique shopping with jason. and i really honestly had a feeling of wanting to go home didnt know why but chose not to (gas is expensive) but then got a call from mom and had to go home anyway.
katie's mom died.... my neices mom. I guess my ex-sister in law. i have felt like crap since then. i havent done anything and i cant quit crying. this has hit me harder than any other death i've went through. maybe cuz mamaw papaw and eddie were older there kids were mostly grown... and i just see katie. shes 10 and doenst have a mom. it kills me and katies brother kurtis his dad has never ever been anything to him. i just feel so horrible for them and i can't take it. i just want to be home and not here waiting for school... i don't know i can't do anything if i was at home.
katie was doing alright. but she sat down next to a tree and she was crying and i sat down. and she was playing tag with the kids but then she was like i just want to sit here and think about my mom. and she said that she liked looking at the stars cuz it reminds her of karma. and she was telling me that she gets to put flowers on her moms grave. no little girl she be ok with trying to decide lily or daisy for a grave. why does it have to happen. I dont feel like going to class or doing my papers or reading my assignments. i just want to be home with my mom because all of this has made me miss her really bad. i dont know what to do with myself or my time. i wish i had some tylenol pm's to take... cuz i have a feeling its going to be a long night