(no subject)
Claire, Hunter, Debbie decide to take it upon themselves to get Michael and Ben do a bit more then talk in passing and get inspiration from The Parent Trap. Michael and Ben are led unsuspectingly into the movie based situation and while there is talking and even a soft kiss, they both feel the need to leave before dinner is served.
Hunter surveyed the set-up critically, wanting everything to be perfect. This had to work, it had to get them to at least start to fall for each other again, even if he knew it wasn't going to be some magical dinner where they fell into each other's arms at the end. That shit only happened in movies. But even though the idea for the dinner itself was from a movie, Hunter had confidence in the plan.
"What do you think? Are we ready? Should I go get them?" He slipped an arm around Claire's shoulders, squinting up at the sky. It was starting to sink lower in the sky, meaning it was probably like 6. The perfect time to eat, and Deb had made the perfect food for it. So far, so good.
"Yeah," Claire replied brightly, smoothing her hands over the half-apron she had over the black skirt. Her white blouse was crisp and pressed. She could totally have had a job at Olive Garden or something, looking like this. She had even put her hair up in a bun. So mature. "You go get them and I'll make sure everything's cool here."
"Kay." Hunter grinned at his girlfriend and kissed her cheek, pulling away. This was going to be awesome. "I'll be right back!"
She giggled and watched him go, then busied herself with a few finishing touches. Fresh flowers on the table, light the candles, and set a basket with some bread on the table and she was ready, waiting, eager to see all their planning work out.
~*~
Debbie had said she'd make sure Michael was there, so Hunter only had to worry about Ben. He headed for the compound at a jog, planning to check the rec room and kitchen before taking a peek into Ben's room. He just hoped Ben wasn't off doing some zen shit when Hunter really really needed to find him.
There was no zen shit to speak of. In fact, Ben was seated quietly on his bed reading The Hero With a Thousand Faces by Joseph Campbell. His glasses sat dutifully on his face, his eyes traveled quickly over the page, and he wasn't thinking much. He was just reading, soaking it all in. And he was in a great mood, to boot. Nice day, what could he say?
"Oh cool. You're here," Hunter said, hanging on the door frame as he leaned into the room. "I wanna show you something."
Cool blue eyes looked up and over thin-rimmed glasses. A small smile played at his lips.
"Oh yeah? What's up, pal?" He closed the book on his finger to keep his place. If Hunter wanted to go somewhere, he was not likely to resist... unless it was to see something utterly teenaged, in which case Ben would clasp Hunter on the back and remind himself that whatever it was, was perfectly normal.
Hunter thought fast, but he couldn't come up with anything sufficiently...Benlike, so he just said, "Iiiiit's a...surprise." He grinned and held out a hand. "Just come on."
~*~
Debbie was already in the process of completing her mission. One arm linked firmly with her son's arm, she practically dragged him along what she vaguely remembered and hoped was the path back to the little secluded area that was to be the setting of the date. "It'll be fun!" she said with enthusiasm. "Just a little outing. Indulge your mother. I fucking raised you; you can go on a fucking walk with me."
"Ma!" Michael said as he tried again to loosen her grip. He had nothing against her suddenly wanting some mother/son time...but did it have to be right when he decided to go see Guy? Not to mention, she hadn't exactly told him what they were doing and the 'just a walk' he didn't believe by the way she'd just picked him up and started dragging him. "Where are we going? I can walk on my own you know!"
"I know you can walk!" she said in a forced, laughing kind of way, like she knew that this whole thing was a little ridiculous but if she kept believing that it didn't seem ridiculous, it wouldn't be so ridiculous. It made a kind of sense in Debbie's head. "But you don't know where we're going and I can't exactly tell you because it doesn't have a name and we're just walking! You're accompanying me. It's only right for a gentleman to take a lady's arm." That would require Debbie to be a lady though, and even she knew she was pushing it with that kind of explanation. Thank God they were almost there. Jesus.
Michael rolled his eyes and almost pointed out the error in that statement, when he tripped over a root and due to his balance being off from being dragged in the first place, he didn't see the set up in the clearing ahead until they were already entering it. "Let me at least..." He started before he paused and looked around. What was Claire doing out in the woods with a restaurant like set up, or at least as far as the island went. "What's going on?"
"What does it look like?" Debbie said cheerfully, chipper and smiling as she directed her son towards the table and sat him down in one of the empty chairs.
Testing, he tried to stand up and found a hand on his shoulder pressing him into the seat. Whatever was going on, he didn't have a choice in the matter so he slumped in the seat with a sigh. "I'm afraid to ask..."
"Have a little faith in your mother," Debbie responded, a shade drier and harder than before, but there was still a smile on her face the whole time. "I'd never put you through anything that bad."
~*~
"Alright, pal, where are you taking me?" Ben asked. He'd refrained from asking until they were a few minutes into the woods, but this was getting a little daunting, and Ben had the right to ask.
"Not much farther," Hunter hedged, peering anxiously ahead as they drew close to the little clearing that they'd set up for the 'date'. "You're gonna love it, I promise." Okay, that was pretty much a lie. Ben wasn't really much the 'ambush' type, but Hunter was desperate. And hey, Deb had gone along with it, that meant it couldn't be too bad of an idea, right?
He shifted so he was kind of behind Ben as they entered the clearing, ready to push him bodily forward if necessary--for all the good it would do him to try, anyway.
Hearing someone else coming, Michael looked up.
And immediately stood up, looking back at his mother with an unhappy glare. "What's going on?" He intended to get his answer and get out of there. They had no right doing this to him....to them. And of course, indignation helped him hide how his heart beat faster at the idea of being near Ben in such an intimate setting.
"Dinner," Debbie responded firmly, settling her hands on Michael's shoulders to push him back down into his seat. "That's all. Just a nice, friendly dinner, cooked by your mother, and you're going to enjoy it."
Out of the foliage came Ben and Hunter, Hunter leading, and Ben striding after. He stood tall, showing little signs of his confusion and curiosity beyond the furrow of his brow, and kept up well, standing behind only to give Hunter the advantage in leading.
"I hate to sound like a broken record, pal, but where are we going?"
"...Right here," Hunter replied, edging behind Ben and nudging him forward a little with his shoulder. "...Surprise.?" He shot Debbie a look, kind of at a loss for where to go from here. He'd gotten Ben there, Deb had gotten Michael there...now what? Tie them up? "It's dinner. Go on." He crosses his fingers, hoping Ben would go the 'don't make a scene' route.
The curious curl of Ben's lips straightened out immediately when he saw a very unsuspecting-looking Michael on his feet in front of a beautifully set up table. His lips were parted, his feet feeling too light over the dead leaves and damp soil.
"Michael..." He recited quietly. He was staring. He couldn't help it. A million questions gave way to utter silence as he just looked.
Michael looked up when Ben said his name, just as his mother pushed him back down into his seat. From the look on Ben's face, he'd had no idea about this either...though the staring was going to make Michael blush so he averted his eyes to the table. "Ben." He said quietly, before sighing. "I think we've been set up." Though Michael's thoughts had gone to war over if he thought this was a bad thing or not.
"Set up makes it sound criminal," Debbie said with a frown. "This is just dinner," she added, walking over to Ben's side, linking their arms together, leading him closer to the table, and directing him a little forcefully into the seat set out for him. "And if it leads to something more, then great!" She smiled at them both broadly, stepping back as if to survey her handiwork, hands on her hips. She didn't say what it was if it lead to nothing. "Enjoy yourselves," she said with a slight growl to her voice, then walked off to go check on the food.
Hunter winced at Deb's words, leaning against a tree and giving Claire a little grin. "I should...help Deb," he decided, edging in the same direction Debbie had just departed in before he could be called out by either of his dads.
Catching the movement out of the corner of his eye, Michael turned to give Hunter a skeptical look. He had no doubt the teenager was behind this. Then he just sighed and sat back. "I guess just dinner wouldn't hurt." He couldn't help it, but when he lifted his eyes to Ben, his look was slightly shy. He had no idea what to do.
That, Ben thought, was exactly the way Michael had looked at him the day he'd asked him out that first time. He'd been breathtaking then, and he still was. Love wasn't the way most of the homosexuals in Pittsburgh described it: brutal and wearing and trying, because every time Ben saw Michael, he swore he fell deeper in love with him.
"I'm... feeling a little hungry," he said. He couldn't have taken his eyes off of Michael if he tried.
He felt Ben's gaze on him like a hot brand and he couldn't help the blush that spread over his cheeks. It made him feel all warm and cozy, a feeling he hadn't felt in a long time. Not since before the island...before Guy...Michael ducked his head and picked up a spoon so his hands had something to fiddle with. "I guess we shouldn't put their hard work to waste then." He paused for a moment before asking, "So, um...how are you?"
Ben smiled broadly. It was exactly how it had been in the beginning. So he slowly took a seat and looked down at the meal.
"I've been... fine," Ben said, his voice tremoring with a chuckle. "I... take it you had no idea about this, either?" He felt the need to make it clear that he had nothing to do with it. He wanted to smack Hunter... and hug him. All at the same time.
God, Ben's smile was gorgeous, as Michael saw when he peaked up before his gaze went back to the spoon in his hand. Though he would have loved to know what the other was thinking, the...fondness in his eyes had made it so Michael couldn't help but smile. He waved a hand at him. "Nope. Mom just found me and dragged me out here." Then he paused and bit his lip, "Umm...we both know what they're doing. If you don't want to play along, I'll understand." Of course, this gave away that Michael didn't really want to leave himself, but he'd understand if Ben wanted to.
The look Ben bestowed upon Michael was one of such silent adoration, such patience and love and... peace. Maybe for the first time on the island.
"I think I'd just like to see what happens, he said, smile somehow clear and enigmatic. "Live in the now." And if Michael's now happened to bring him to Ben's, then so be it.
Michael had to look away, the look in Ben's eyes now telling him exactly what the other was thinking and it was almost too intense for him. Though he was amazed that the warm feeling hadn't left or been replaced by nervousness yet. A few months ago it would have. "Right. So umm...how you have been? I haven't seen you around that much, finding everything here okay?" So it was kind of an easy way to start the conversation, but Ben's look was making it hard for Michael to think straight.
"I've been keeping to myself a bit," Ben admitted, ducking his head into a nod. "But I'm adjusting OK. Checked in at the clinic. Took Hunter." He nodded again.
"What about you, Michael?"
"Are you guys okay?" Michael asked automatically before biting back anything else.
"Haven't been up to much." He said with a small embarrassed shrug as he kept going. "Hanging out with Brian and uh Guy mostly." Except he hadn't been, not as much, and it almost felt wrong saying Guy's name right then.
"It's nothing to worry about," Ben said, a bit of his patience ebbing, but that was only thanks to that loud voice that kept persisting in his head. He fought it hard. Not now. "I just wanted to make sure we went on record. Could get the proper care." He nodded.
"That's good. I'm glad. Really glad. We seem to be lucky having so many medical people here." And Michael was sure Ben didn't want to talk about this. He scrambled for a minute before he smiled and asked, "Have you been writing any?"
Before Ben could answer, Claire walked up with a notepad and pen and the cutest apron ever. "Good evening, Mr. Bruckner. Good evening, Mr. Novotny. We've got a super dinner made for you, so I just need to know what you'd like to drink. We have water and juice and wine." She smiled brightly at each of them in turn, waiting. She was totally aware that this might be, like, weird. It was in the movie, too...but everyone came around.
The smile that crossed Ben's face was uncontainable, and he listened intently as Claire rattled off the spiel, and with such precision and grace.
"I should have known you were behind this." He was all good-nature. "I'll have water, please."
Michael was just amused at this point and leaned back against the chair, taking a deep breath to just finally relax. "Juice please."
Claire's smile brightened even more. "Water and juice. Be right up!" she chirped, turning away and nearly bouncing off. This had taken a ton of planning and it was going to be great, if she and Hunter and Debbie had to tie the two men together and throw them in a lake.
Or something. There wasn't really a lake here. That was a totally cool part of the first movie, the one with Haley Mills as the twins and not Lindsey Lohan because she had grown up to be totally skeevy. Yeah, the lake scene was really neat.
This was the thought that Claire was lost in as she sat the water in front of Michael and the juice in front of Ben. "Anything else?" she asked happily.
Ben cast a quick glance at the drinks in the incorrect places and when he looked back up, there was no trace of it, just a smile.
"Thank you, Claire," he said, sincerely. He would have to do something for her. Though he wasn't showing his gratitude and excitement, he was certainly feeling it. This was what he wanted, and it was good to know he wasn't crazy or asking too much.
Michael just chuckled, as he bit his lip to keep from laughing. It was cute, sickeningly so. This whole scene, Claire, the drinks...like a Disney movie. Oddly enough, he didn't have a problem. He knew he should, but he was too relaxed and content to care. "Yeah Thanks. So, should we be expecting any more surprises?" He asked curiously.
Claire was beaming. "Surprises?" she asked innocently (in a way that completely wasn't), "It's just dinner. I already ate and your mom is such a good cook. You two just...eat and drink and be...whatever," she said, turning quickly enough that her ponytail bounced off her shoulder. Debbie should have the plates ready soon and she had work to do.
Ben watched Claire flounce off and then turned his eyes to Michael. As soon as he was sure she was gone, he switched the drinks to their correct place with a chuckle.
"Our waitress is attentive," Ben said, looking deep into the pools of Michael's eyes before breaking the contact to take a drink of his water. He wanted so much more, wanted to reach across the table and take his hand and make it the Disney ending it was so obviously meant to be. But he wouldn't. He was a little gun-shy.
But he hadn't heard that terrifying voice for hours.
When Claire left, Michael finally gave into the urge to laugh. Just, the whole situation struck him as funny. And it was a happy laugh...something Michael hadn't done for a long time, or at least it felt that way.
He had curled his hands around the glass once Ben had corrected them and had paused for a moment when taking a sip of his own when Ben's gaze had held his. He swallowed quickly before he said, "Scheming too. And while meddling...it is kinda nice. All the effort they put into it." He took another slightly nervous swallow of juice. "They care, quite a bit." About Ben? About him? That part Michael wasn't so sure about.
It had been a lot of compromise and discussion, but they had wound up just relying on the island radio, which was playing the Beatles at the moment. Who knew what would be next. Claire hoped it didn't totally ruin the mood. If it did, she'd so shut it off. She was standing next to Hunter and Debbie, watching the action at the table. From a distance, it didn't look great, but at least they weren't fighting.
"About both of us," Ben said, as if reading Michael's mind. After the years they'd been together, sometimes weeks stretched by where it had been just them and a room, doing anything and everything and sometimes wearing nothing. It was the deepest of connections they'd shared, and try as Ben might, he couldn't turn it all the way off.
"Look. Michael..." He set his water down and looked boldly into Michael's eyes, leaning forward. "You don't have to go along with it. If you're happy, if you're safe, if you don't want to tamper, I understand. You had a whole life before you met me." It hurt. It wasn't what he wanted. But if it was what Michael needed, he'd cope.
Michael looked down into the glass of juice in front of him, just sitting and staring for what seemed like a long time. His thoughts were jumbled again and yet no matter how confused they were...they never were enough to make him feel anything but relaxed and content in this situation.
He felt the connection too. And while before it had scared him...he was starting to accept it. And that scared him instead.
"I this want too." He said softly, finding his voice. He fought with himself before admitting, "I'm happy with Guy, really...but I feel content right now. And I haven't felt that since before the island." He hoped his eyes stressed the difference because he didn't think he had it in him to explain.
When Ben dipped his head, it was a move of grace and gratefulness. Like a prayer, silent and strong. Like he'd just won some kind of race.
"I'm... really happy to hear you say that," he said softly, and with a lick of his lips, extended his hand out to Michael.
Michael stared at it for a few moments...before slowly taking it.
And felt a weight lift off his shoulders. He couldn't help a smile.
It was as if it took Ben a few tries to smile. His lips twitched upward, and he licked his lips once more before breaking into a full-blown smile. It was wrong. Michael was with Guy and not Ben... but life was as it should have been. That stubborn, malicious voice that had spent its time haunting and taunting Ben had hollowed out into a disembodied smirk, the feeling of leaning back, satisfied, and Ben was forced to break the touch as the passive malice surged through him.
Blinking, Michael cocked his head. "Ben? You okay?" The breaking of touch burst something in him too and his hands quickly went in his lap under the table. He had no right to do this...to Ben or Guy. But he didn't think about that, instead giving Ben a worried look.
"Yes, I'm fine," he assured him, smiling wanly. That voice was telling him how easy it would be to take advantage of the situation, and he was all but arguing back, letting himself know that it wasn't his decision to make, that he was alone.
But you don't have to be.
He clenched his jaw and took another mighty gulp of water.
"I... ah... I may be teaching at the Island School."
Cocking his head, Michael gave Ben an odd look, before shrugging and letting it go. If he was allowed to have some issues over this, so was Ben. "That's pretty cool. What are you gonna teach?"
"I'm not sure. I heard something about a University. I could teach Creative Writing, maybe. Or Gay Studies," he said. He was trying to regain his docile air, fight the urges he wasn't even sure were his. He'd only felt as out of control as he did then a few times before, and that a few years ago when...
"What about you? What have you been doing?"
"Not much." Michael said honestly though he couldn't keep the curiosity out of his look. "Just kind of bumming around really. Enjoying the sun and sand. Plus you know, not much use for a comic book store owner around here." He gave a small smile, hoping to lighten the mood again against whatever was bothering Ben.
"Oh, I don't know about that." Ben leaned forward. "I've... met some interesting people here. People I've heard you mention." Not to mention people he talked about in his lectures.
Michael couldn't help a small blush. "Yeah, it's...pretty fucking awesome. But they don't need me, I think they know about themselves pretty well."
Another brilliant smile beamed out from Ben's face. He knew that Michael had to be squealing with happiness in some capacity, and the fact that it wasn't because of Guy Burgess gave him more satisfaction that he'd like to admit.
"I figured you were excited," he said.
"That was putting it mildly at first, but I'd like to think I've gotten used to it and don't stare nearly as much." Michael said ducking his head with a blush.
Before he could even think about it, Ben leaned forward and touched Michael's cheek. This was something he just... did whenever Michael felt the need to dip his gaze in a blush, and it was pure instinct that drove his thumb over the smooth skin, there.
"I bet they do their fair share of staring back," Ben said, softly.
Michael's gaze darted up, both at the touch and the words, first disbelieving then just awed. Not knowing what to say, he lifted one hand to cover Ben's as if to tell him that the touch was perfectly alright.
It was a few moments before Michael found his voice. "Well I don't know about that. There are so many stunning people here, much more worthy of being stared at. Like you." It ached, how much he meant it and he just choose not to think about it, just letting it be.
Slowly, Ben's fingers closed around Michael's, and thank God the table was small so all it took to get closer was a shift forward and some of the space between them had evaporated. Fuck the voice and nothing else mattered. He truly was thinking nothing but Michael.
"I wouldn't know. I've been too busy looking at someone else to see who is looking at me." He squeezed Michael's hand briefly for emphasis.
He hadn't even realized it when he'd leaned closer to Ben, the touch to his cheek acting like a magnetic force. Michael's inner voice, saying things like 'wrong' and 'Guy' and 'cheat' had been drowned out by one look in those blue eyes, making it impossible to think about anything else.
"Your a very stubborn man, Ben Bruckner." Michael said a bit teasingly, then his voice lowered to a soft tone. "To wait for someone who is just now seeing what he's been missing."
God, that did things to Ben's heart that he wasn't even completely sure how to describe. It was this slow, steady beat in his pulse points, but he could feel his actual heart racing, pounding. His energy came to him in auras of blues and pinks and he felt justified. Circumstances permitted nothing, the moment was the captor, and Ben leaned closer, still.
"I know a good thing when I touch it." His voice was low, both in register and in volume. They were so close...
Michael had to mentally and physically check that Ben was still touching him, just in case. Then he had to make sure he was still breathing because this moment, unlike any other in his entire life, was making him forget even that.
No, he was wrong. There was another. When a man had walked into his store and picked up an X-men comic. That Ben featured in both instances came as both a surprise and not, so were Michael's feelings all over the place at the moment, but they all centered on this man. "Do you really?" he asked softly.
Their mouths were so close they might as well have been kissing, anyway, but Ben didn't dare downplay it. Instead, he forced himself another few moments of pause before finally parting his lips against Michael in what had to be the softest, most gentle, unobtrusive kiss in the history of the kiss. Rich with meaning as it was, Ben didn't stand as one who would push such things lightly. When he kissed Michael, it was because he knew if he didn't he would spend a moment or two out of his 'live-in-the-now' policy regretting not seizing that moment, that one now. So he did.
It most likely both did and didn't surprise either of them when, after a pause to get over the initial shock, Michael too moved a bit forward and both accepted and reciprocated. It was still probably the gentlest kiss either of them have ever experienced in their lives, but that didn't matter. What mattered is that it was happening and Michael finally understood what it mean to 'live in the now'. This was just...right.
The sound of a muffled shriek of happiness came from Claire and she clapped both her hands over her mouth as she ducked away. That was the way the movie happened, and now they just needed to avoid the fight. No anger or accusations, which she totally hoped wouldn't happen since they weren't, like, divorced. She'd tried to account for everything.
Hunter's head whipped around to give Claire a Look, but it wasn't very effective since he couldn't stop grinning. This was all going just how it was supposed to. Dude, they so rocked!
Debbie couldn't help her joy at the sight, but she managed to restrain her voice. It was such a sweet, tender moment, just the way it fucking should be. She didn't shout or whoop, because her baby was doing the right thing. She just sniffled and tried to keep the tears out of her eyes as she kept quietly (for once) to the background.
After a few long moments, or at least they seemed that way, Michael pulled away from Ben looking at him, just looking. He had a feeling he knew what this meant, in his mind at least and his heart...but he just wasn't ready to accept it yet. There was still Guy, who he loved...and Ben who he knew he'd always loved... it was the him in the middle part he had to stop and think about but he knew that this...this was a beginning, not just a road block or a end.
Carefully, he took his hand back, retreating to his side of the table. But the look in his eyes said he was anything but upset, he just needed space.
After watching Michael for a considerably amount of time, Ben dropped his gaze, taking in a deep breath. How long had he been waiting for that kiss? It had been too long, but surely worth the wait.
So why did he feel like he needed to leave?
When Ben dropped his gaze, it was like a spell was broken and suddenly Michael needed more then just the table between them. He stood up, quickly at first before catching himself and slowing to a normal rate. He bit his lip before he just said, "I think...I better go."
Ben's gaze was up immediately, and he rocketed to his feet to meet Michael, caution less, his calm broken.
"Michael." The word came out quickly and prematurely and he had nothing to follow it.
Looking up quickly, Michael licked his lips from nerves before he said in a rush. "It's okay...I just...I need space...time to think."
Though he'd been contemplating reaching out to him or offering a plea of some sort, be it for stasis or a moment of it, Michael's words silenced this and his shoulders seemed to fall with the nod of his head.
"Of course," Ben said, swallowing hard. Unrealistic expectations had his jaw and chest aching.
Seeing the fall of Ben's shoulders, Michael came around the table and put a hand on his arm for a moment. "Give me time." Was all he said but there was more behind the words, an almost, but not quite promise to at least revisit this.
The tough was supposed to be comforting. He knew that. It was supposed to be sweet and sensitive, but what it boiled down to was familiarity, and painfully so.
"I'll see you around, Michael," Ben said softly, and with a glance that could almost be construed as apologetic, Ben was retreating, a voice inside of him that sounded close behind him whispering, coward.
Michael watched Ben go and wasn’t close behind in another direction, trying very hard not to burst into a run until he was out of sight of the clearing, wondering what the hell had just happened and why he felt less confused then more…
Hunter surveyed the set-up critically, wanting everything to be perfect. This had to work, it had to get them to at least start to fall for each other again, even if he knew it wasn't going to be some magical dinner where they fell into each other's arms at the end. That shit only happened in movies. But even though the idea for the dinner itself was from a movie, Hunter had confidence in the plan.
"What do you think? Are we ready? Should I go get them?" He slipped an arm around Claire's shoulders, squinting up at the sky. It was starting to sink lower in the sky, meaning it was probably like 6. The perfect time to eat, and Deb had made the perfect food for it. So far, so good.
"Yeah," Claire replied brightly, smoothing her hands over the half-apron she had over the black skirt. Her white blouse was crisp and pressed. She could totally have had a job at Olive Garden or something, looking like this. She had even put her hair up in a bun. So mature. "You go get them and I'll make sure everything's cool here."
"Kay." Hunter grinned at his girlfriend and kissed her cheek, pulling away. This was going to be awesome. "I'll be right back!"
She giggled and watched him go, then busied herself with a few finishing touches. Fresh flowers on the table, light the candles, and set a basket with some bread on the table and she was ready, waiting, eager to see all their planning work out.
~*~
Debbie had said she'd make sure Michael was there, so Hunter only had to worry about Ben. He headed for the compound at a jog, planning to check the rec room and kitchen before taking a peek into Ben's room. He just hoped Ben wasn't off doing some zen shit when Hunter really really needed to find him.
There was no zen shit to speak of. In fact, Ben was seated quietly on his bed reading The Hero With a Thousand Faces by Joseph Campbell. His glasses sat dutifully on his face, his eyes traveled quickly over the page, and he wasn't thinking much. He was just reading, soaking it all in. And he was in a great mood, to boot. Nice day, what could he say?
"Oh cool. You're here," Hunter said, hanging on the door frame as he leaned into the room. "I wanna show you something."
Cool blue eyes looked up and over thin-rimmed glasses. A small smile played at his lips.
"Oh yeah? What's up, pal?" He closed the book on his finger to keep his place. If Hunter wanted to go somewhere, he was not likely to resist... unless it was to see something utterly teenaged, in which case Ben would clasp Hunter on the back and remind himself that whatever it was, was perfectly normal.
Hunter thought fast, but he couldn't come up with anything sufficiently...Benlike, so he just said, "Iiiiit's a...surprise." He grinned and held out a hand. "Just come on."
~*~
Debbie was already in the process of completing her mission. One arm linked firmly with her son's arm, she practically dragged him along what she vaguely remembered and hoped was the path back to the little secluded area that was to be the setting of the date. "It'll be fun!" she said with enthusiasm. "Just a little outing. Indulge your mother. I fucking raised you; you can go on a fucking walk with me."
"Ma!" Michael said as he tried again to loosen her grip. He had nothing against her suddenly wanting some mother/son time...but did it have to be right when he decided to go see Guy? Not to mention, she hadn't exactly told him what they were doing and the 'just a walk' he didn't believe by the way she'd just picked him up and started dragging him. "Where are we going? I can walk on my own you know!"
"I know you can walk!" she said in a forced, laughing kind of way, like she knew that this whole thing was a little ridiculous but if she kept believing that it didn't seem ridiculous, it wouldn't be so ridiculous. It made a kind of sense in Debbie's head. "But you don't know where we're going and I can't exactly tell you because it doesn't have a name and we're just walking! You're accompanying me. It's only right for a gentleman to take a lady's arm." That would require Debbie to be a lady though, and even she knew she was pushing it with that kind of explanation. Thank God they were almost there. Jesus.
Michael rolled his eyes and almost pointed out the error in that statement, when he tripped over a root and due to his balance being off from being dragged in the first place, he didn't see the set up in the clearing ahead until they were already entering it. "Let me at least..." He started before he paused and looked around. What was Claire doing out in the woods with a restaurant like set up, or at least as far as the island went. "What's going on?"
"What does it look like?" Debbie said cheerfully, chipper and smiling as she directed her son towards the table and sat him down in one of the empty chairs.
Testing, he tried to stand up and found a hand on his shoulder pressing him into the seat. Whatever was going on, he didn't have a choice in the matter so he slumped in the seat with a sigh. "I'm afraid to ask..."
"Have a little faith in your mother," Debbie responded, a shade drier and harder than before, but there was still a smile on her face the whole time. "I'd never put you through anything that bad."
~*~
"Alright, pal, where are you taking me?" Ben asked. He'd refrained from asking until they were a few minutes into the woods, but this was getting a little daunting, and Ben had the right to ask.
"Not much farther," Hunter hedged, peering anxiously ahead as they drew close to the little clearing that they'd set up for the 'date'. "You're gonna love it, I promise." Okay, that was pretty much a lie. Ben wasn't really much the 'ambush' type, but Hunter was desperate. And hey, Deb had gone along with it, that meant it couldn't be too bad of an idea, right?
He shifted so he was kind of behind Ben as they entered the clearing, ready to push him bodily forward if necessary--for all the good it would do him to try, anyway.
Hearing someone else coming, Michael looked up.
And immediately stood up, looking back at his mother with an unhappy glare. "What's going on?" He intended to get his answer and get out of there. They had no right doing this to him....to them. And of course, indignation helped him hide how his heart beat faster at the idea of being near Ben in such an intimate setting.
"Dinner," Debbie responded firmly, settling her hands on Michael's shoulders to push him back down into his seat. "That's all. Just a nice, friendly dinner, cooked by your mother, and you're going to enjoy it."
Out of the foliage came Ben and Hunter, Hunter leading, and Ben striding after. He stood tall, showing little signs of his confusion and curiosity beyond the furrow of his brow, and kept up well, standing behind only to give Hunter the advantage in leading.
"I hate to sound like a broken record, pal, but where are we going?"
"...Right here," Hunter replied, edging behind Ben and nudging him forward a little with his shoulder. "...Surprise.?" He shot Debbie a look, kind of at a loss for where to go from here. He'd gotten Ben there, Deb had gotten Michael there...now what? Tie them up? "It's dinner. Go on." He crosses his fingers, hoping Ben would go the 'don't make a scene' route.
The curious curl of Ben's lips straightened out immediately when he saw a very unsuspecting-looking Michael on his feet in front of a beautifully set up table. His lips were parted, his feet feeling too light over the dead leaves and damp soil.
"Michael..." He recited quietly. He was staring. He couldn't help it. A million questions gave way to utter silence as he just looked.
Michael looked up when Ben said his name, just as his mother pushed him back down into his seat. From the look on Ben's face, he'd had no idea about this either...though the staring was going to make Michael blush so he averted his eyes to the table. "Ben." He said quietly, before sighing. "I think we've been set up." Though Michael's thoughts had gone to war over if he thought this was a bad thing or not.
"Set up makes it sound criminal," Debbie said with a frown. "This is just dinner," she added, walking over to Ben's side, linking their arms together, leading him closer to the table, and directing him a little forcefully into the seat set out for him. "And if it leads to something more, then great!" She smiled at them both broadly, stepping back as if to survey her handiwork, hands on her hips. She didn't say what it was if it lead to nothing. "Enjoy yourselves," she said with a slight growl to her voice, then walked off to go check on the food.
Hunter winced at Deb's words, leaning against a tree and giving Claire a little grin. "I should...help Deb," he decided, edging in the same direction Debbie had just departed in before he could be called out by either of his dads.
Catching the movement out of the corner of his eye, Michael turned to give Hunter a skeptical look. He had no doubt the teenager was behind this. Then he just sighed and sat back. "I guess just dinner wouldn't hurt." He couldn't help it, but when he lifted his eyes to Ben, his look was slightly shy. He had no idea what to do.
That, Ben thought, was exactly the way Michael had looked at him the day he'd asked him out that first time. He'd been breathtaking then, and he still was. Love wasn't the way most of the homosexuals in Pittsburgh described it: brutal and wearing and trying, because every time Ben saw Michael, he swore he fell deeper in love with him.
"I'm... feeling a little hungry," he said. He couldn't have taken his eyes off of Michael if he tried.
He felt Ben's gaze on him like a hot brand and he couldn't help the blush that spread over his cheeks. It made him feel all warm and cozy, a feeling he hadn't felt in a long time. Not since before the island...before Guy...Michael ducked his head and picked up a spoon so his hands had something to fiddle with. "I guess we shouldn't put their hard work to waste then." He paused for a moment before asking, "So, um...how are you?"
Ben smiled broadly. It was exactly how it had been in the beginning. So he slowly took a seat and looked down at the meal.
"I've been... fine," Ben said, his voice tremoring with a chuckle. "I... take it you had no idea about this, either?" He felt the need to make it clear that he had nothing to do with it. He wanted to smack Hunter... and hug him. All at the same time.
God, Ben's smile was gorgeous, as Michael saw when he peaked up before his gaze went back to the spoon in his hand. Though he would have loved to know what the other was thinking, the...fondness in his eyes had made it so Michael couldn't help but smile. He waved a hand at him. "Nope. Mom just found me and dragged me out here." Then he paused and bit his lip, "Umm...we both know what they're doing. If you don't want to play along, I'll understand." Of course, this gave away that Michael didn't really want to leave himself, but he'd understand if Ben wanted to.
The look Ben bestowed upon Michael was one of such silent adoration, such patience and love and... peace. Maybe for the first time on the island.
"I think I'd just like to see what happens, he said, smile somehow clear and enigmatic. "Live in the now." And if Michael's now happened to bring him to Ben's, then so be it.
Michael had to look away, the look in Ben's eyes now telling him exactly what the other was thinking and it was almost too intense for him. Though he was amazed that the warm feeling hadn't left or been replaced by nervousness yet. A few months ago it would have. "Right. So umm...how you have been? I haven't seen you around that much, finding everything here okay?" So it was kind of an easy way to start the conversation, but Ben's look was making it hard for Michael to think straight.
"I've been keeping to myself a bit," Ben admitted, ducking his head into a nod. "But I'm adjusting OK. Checked in at the clinic. Took Hunter." He nodded again.
"What about you, Michael?"
"Are you guys okay?" Michael asked automatically before biting back anything else.
"Haven't been up to much." He said with a small embarrassed shrug as he kept going. "Hanging out with Brian and uh Guy mostly." Except he hadn't been, not as much, and it almost felt wrong saying Guy's name right then.
"It's nothing to worry about," Ben said, a bit of his patience ebbing, but that was only thanks to that loud voice that kept persisting in his head. He fought it hard. Not now. "I just wanted to make sure we went on record. Could get the proper care." He nodded.
"That's good. I'm glad. Really glad. We seem to be lucky having so many medical people here." And Michael was sure Ben didn't want to talk about this. He scrambled for a minute before he smiled and asked, "Have you been writing any?"
Before Ben could answer, Claire walked up with a notepad and pen and the cutest apron ever. "Good evening, Mr. Bruckner. Good evening, Mr. Novotny. We've got a super dinner made for you, so I just need to know what you'd like to drink. We have water and juice and wine." She smiled brightly at each of them in turn, waiting. She was totally aware that this might be, like, weird. It was in the movie, too...but everyone came around.
The smile that crossed Ben's face was uncontainable, and he listened intently as Claire rattled off the spiel, and with such precision and grace.
"I should have known you were behind this." He was all good-nature. "I'll have water, please."
Michael was just amused at this point and leaned back against the chair, taking a deep breath to just finally relax. "Juice please."
Claire's smile brightened even more. "Water and juice. Be right up!" she chirped, turning away and nearly bouncing off. This had taken a ton of planning and it was going to be great, if she and Hunter and Debbie had to tie the two men together and throw them in a lake.
Or something. There wasn't really a lake here. That was a totally cool part of the first movie, the one with Haley Mills as the twins and not Lindsey Lohan because she had grown up to be totally skeevy. Yeah, the lake scene was really neat.
This was the thought that Claire was lost in as she sat the water in front of Michael and the juice in front of Ben. "Anything else?" she asked happily.
Ben cast a quick glance at the drinks in the incorrect places and when he looked back up, there was no trace of it, just a smile.
"Thank you, Claire," he said, sincerely. He would have to do something for her. Though he wasn't showing his gratitude and excitement, he was certainly feeling it. This was what he wanted, and it was good to know he wasn't crazy or asking too much.
Michael just chuckled, as he bit his lip to keep from laughing. It was cute, sickeningly so. This whole scene, Claire, the drinks...like a Disney movie. Oddly enough, he didn't have a problem. He knew he should, but he was too relaxed and content to care. "Yeah Thanks. So, should we be expecting any more surprises?" He asked curiously.
Claire was beaming. "Surprises?" she asked innocently (in a way that completely wasn't), "It's just dinner. I already ate and your mom is such a good cook. You two just...eat and drink and be...whatever," she said, turning quickly enough that her ponytail bounced off her shoulder. Debbie should have the plates ready soon and she had work to do.
Ben watched Claire flounce off and then turned his eyes to Michael. As soon as he was sure she was gone, he switched the drinks to their correct place with a chuckle.
"Our waitress is attentive," Ben said, looking deep into the pools of Michael's eyes before breaking the contact to take a drink of his water. He wanted so much more, wanted to reach across the table and take his hand and make it the Disney ending it was so obviously meant to be. But he wouldn't. He was a little gun-shy.
But he hadn't heard that terrifying voice for hours.
When Claire left, Michael finally gave into the urge to laugh. Just, the whole situation struck him as funny. And it was a happy laugh...something Michael hadn't done for a long time, or at least it felt that way.
He had curled his hands around the glass once Ben had corrected them and had paused for a moment when taking a sip of his own when Ben's gaze had held his. He swallowed quickly before he said, "Scheming too. And while meddling...it is kinda nice. All the effort they put into it." He took another slightly nervous swallow of juice. "They care, quite a bit." About Ben? About him? That part Michael wasn't so sure about.
It had been a lot of compromise and discussion, but they had wound up just relying on the island radio, which was playing the Beatles at the moment. Who knew what would be next. Claire hoped it didn't totally ruin the mood. If it did, she'd so shut it off. She was standing next to Hunter and Debbie, watching the action at the table. From a distance, it didn't look great, but at least they weren't fighting.
"About both of us," Ben said, as if reading Michael's mind. After the years they'd been together, sometimes weeks stretched by where it had been just them and a room, doing anything and everything and sometimes wearing nothing. It was the deepest of connections they'd shared, and try as Ben might, he couldn't turn it all the way off.
"Look. Michael..." He set his water down and looked boldly into Michael's eyes, leaning forward. "You don't have to go along with it. If you're happy, if you're safe, if you don't want to tamper, I understand. You had a whole life before you met me." It hurt. It wasn't what he wanted. But if it was what Michael needed, he'd cope.
Michael looked down into the glass of juice in front of him, just sitting and staring for what seemed like a long time. His thoughts were jumbled again and yet no matter how confused they were...they never were enough to make him feel anything but relaxed and content in this situation.
He felt the connection too. And while before it had scared him...he was starting to accept it. And that scared him instead.
"I this want too." He said softly, finding his voice. He fought with himself before admitting, "I'm happy with Guy, really...but I feel content right now. And I haven't felt that since before the island." He hoped his eyes stressed the difference because he didn't think he had it in him to explain.
When Ben dipped his head, it was a move of grace and gratefulness. Like a prayer, silent and strong. Like he'd just won some kind of race.
"I'm... really happy to hear you say that," he said softly, and with a lick of his lips, extended his hand out to Michael.
Michael stared at it for a few moments...before slowly taking it.
And felt a weight lift off his shoulders. He couldn't help a smile.
It was as if it took Ben a few tries to smile. His lips twitched upward, and he licked his lips once more before breaking into a full-blown smile. It was wrong. Michael was with Guy and not Ben... but life was as it should have been. That stubborn, malicious voice that had spent its time haunting and taunting Ben had hollowed out into a disembodied smirk, the feeling of leaning back, satisfied, and Ben was forced to break the touch as the passive malice surged through him.
Blinking, Michael cocked his head. "Ben? You okay?" The breaking of touch burst something in him too and his hands quickly went in his lap under the table. He had no right to do this...to Ben or Guy. But he didn't think about that, instead giving Ben a worried look.
"Yes, I'm fine," he assured him, smiling wanly. That voice was telling him how easy it would be to take advantage of the situation, and he was all but arguing back, letting himself know that it wasn't his decision to make, that he was alone.
But you don't have to be.
He clenched his jaw and took another mighty gulp of water.
"I... ah... I may be teaching at the Island School."
Cocking his head, Michael gave Ben an odd look, before shrugging and letting it go. If he was allowed to have some issues over this, so was Ben. "That's pretty cool. What are you gonna teach?"
"I'm not sure. I heard something about a University. I could teach Creative Writing, maybe. Or Gay Studies," he said. He was trying to regain his docile air, fight the urges he wasn't even sure were his. He'd only felt as out of control as he did then a few times before, and that a few years ago when...
"What about you? What have you been doing?"
"Not much." Michael said honestly though he couldn't keep the curiosity out of his look. "Just kind of bumming around really. Enjoying the sun and sand. Plus you know, not much use for a comic book store owner around here." He gave a small smile, hoping to lighten the mood again against whatever was bothering Ben.
"Oh, I don't know about that." Ben leaned forward. "I've... met some interesting people here. People I've heard you mention." Not to mention people he talked about in his lectures.
Michael couldn't help a small blush. "Yeah, it's...pretty fucking awesome. But they don't need me, I think they know about themselves pretty well."
Another brilliant smile beamed out from Ben's face. He knew that Michael had to be squealing with happiness in some capacity, and the fact that it wasn't because of Guy Burgess gave him more satisfaction that he'd like to admit.
"I figured you were excited," he said.
"That was putting it mildly at first, but I'd like to think I've gotten used to it and don't stare nearly as much." Michael said ducking his head with a blush.
Before he could even think about it, Ben leaned forward and touched Michael's cheek. This was something he just... did whenever Michael felt the need to dip his gaze in a blush, and it was pure instinct that drove his thumb over the smooth skin, there.
"I bet they do their fair share of staring back," Ben said, softly.
Michael's gaze darted up, both at the touch and the words, first disbelieving then just awed. Not knowing what to say, he lifted one hand to cover Ben's as if to tell him that the touch was perfectly alright.
It was a few moments before Michael found his voice. "Well I don't know about that. There are so many stunning people here, much more worthy of being stared at. Like you." It ached, how much he meant it and he just choose not to think about it, just letting it be.
Slowly, Ben's fingers closed around Michael's, and thank God the table was small so all it took to get closer was a shift forward and some of the space between them had evaporated. Fuck the voice and nothing else mattered. He truly was thinking nothing but Michael.
"I wouldn't know. I've been too busy looking at someone else to see who is looking at me." He squeezed Michael's hand briefly for emphasis.
He hadn't even realized it when he'd leaned closer to Ben, the touch to his cheek acting like a magnetic force. Michael's inner voice, saying things like 'wrong' and 'Guy' and 'cheat' had been drowned out by one look in those blue eyes, making it impossible to think about anything else.
"Your a very stubborn man, Ben Bruckner." Michael said a bit teasingly, then his voice lowered to a soft tone. "To wait for someone who is just now seeing what he's been missing."
God, that did things to Ben's heart that he wasn't even completely sure how to describe. It was this slow, steady beat in his pulse points, but he could feel his actual heart racing, pounding. His energy came to him in auras of blues and pinks and he felt justified. Circumstances permitted nothing, the moment was the captor, and Ben leaned closer, still.
"I know a good thing when I touch it." His voice was low, both in register and in volume. They were so close...
Michael had to mentally and physically check that Ben was still touching him, just in case. Then he had to make sure he was still breathing because this moment, unlike any other in his entire life, was making him forget even that.
No, he was wrong. There was another. When a man had walked into his store and picked up an X-men comic. That Ben featured in both instances came as both a surprise and not, so were Michael's feelings all over the place at the moment, but they all centered on this man. "Do you really?" he asked softly.
Their mouths were so close they might as well have been kissing, anyway, but Ben didn't dare downplay it. Instead, he forced himself another few moments of pause before finally parting his lips against Michael in what had to be the softest, most gentle, unobtrusive kiss in the history of the kiss. Rich with meaning as it was, Ben didn't stand as one who would push such things lightly. When he kissed Michael, it was because he knew if he didn't he would spend a moment or two out of his 'live-in-the-now' policy regretting not seizing that moment, that one now. So he did.
It most likely both did and didn't surprise either of them when, after a pause to get over the initial shock, Michael too moved a bit forward and both accepted and reciprocated. It was still probably the gentlest kiss either of them have ever experienced in their lives, but that didn't matter. What mattered is that it was happening and Michael finally understood what it mean to 'live in the now'. This was just...right.
The sound of a muffled shriek of happiness came from Claire and she clapped both her hands over her mouth as she ducked away. That was the way the movie happened, and now they just needed to avoid the fight. No anger or accusations, which she totally hoped wouldn't happen since they weren't, like, divorced. She'd tried to account for everything.
Hunter's head whipped around to give Claire a Look, but it wasn't very effective since he couldn't stop grinning. This was all going just how it was supposed to. Dude, they so rocked!
Debbie couldn't help her joy at the sight, but she managed to restrain her voice. It was such a sweet, tender moment, just the way it fucking should be. She didn't shout or whoop, because her baby was doing the right thing. She just sniffled and tried to keep the tears out of her eyes as she kept quietly (for once) to the background.
After a few long moments, or at least they seemed that way, Michael pulled away from Ben looking at him, just looking. He had a feeling he knew what this meant, in his mind at least and his heart...but he just wasn't ready to accept it yet. There was still Guy, who he loved...and Ben who he knew he'd always loved... it was the him in the middle part he had to stop and think about but he knew that this...this was a beginning, not just a road block or a end.
Carefully, he took his hand back, retreating to his side of the table. But the look in his eyes said he was anything but upset, he just needed space.
After watching Michael for a considerably amount of time, Ben dropped his gaze, taking in a deep breath. How long had he been waiting for that kiss? It had been too long, but surely worth the wait.
So why did he feel like he needed to leave?
When Ben dropped his gaze, it was like a spell was broken and suddenly Michael needed more then just the table between them. He stood up, quickly at first before catching himself and slowing to a normal rate. He bit his lip before he just said, "I think...I better go."
Ben's gaze was up immediately, and he rocketed to his feet to meet Michael, caution less, his calm broken.
"Michael." The word came out quickly and prematurely and he had nothing to follow it.
Looking up quickly, Michael licked his lips from nerves before he said in a rush. "It's okay...I just...I need space...time to think."
Though he'd been contemplating reaching out to him or offering a plea of some sort, be it for stasis or a moment of it, Michael's words silenced this and his shoulders seemed to fall with the nod of his head.
"Of course," Ben said, swallowing hard. Unrealistic expectations had his jaw and chest aching.
Seeing the fall of Ben's shoulders, Michael came around the table and put a hand on his arm for a moment. "Give me time." Was all he said but there was more behind the words, an almost, but not quite promise to at least revisit this.
The tough was supposed to be comforting. He knew that. It was supposed to be sweet and sensitive, but what it boiled down to was familiarity, and painfully so.
"I'll see you around, Michael," Ben said softly, and with a glance that could almost be construed as apologetic, Ben was retreating, a voice inside of him that sounded close behind him whispering, coward.
Michael watched Ben go and wasn’t close behind in another direction, trying very hard not to burst into a run until he was out of sight of the clearing, wondering what the hell had just happened and why he felt less confused then more…