Post: For Lestat

[always_whining]

Where: The Mansion
When: Evening, March 15, 2009
Who: Louis de Pointe du Lac (always_whining), Lestat de Lioncourt (immortalbrat)
Rating: TBA
Summary: A meeting.
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[immortalbrat]

After a frantic search of the grounds, the library, and what seemed like damn near every other room in this forsaken place Lestat finally comes across this room. He pushes open the door looking more than a little frustrated. With his first glance of Louis, however, his frustration dissipates and he is left only with determination.

"I have to speak with you." It is said firmly, and with much gusto, however there is no elaboration and the look on his face makes it fairly certain that he will say much more for the moment.

[always_whining]

Lestat's sudden appearance startles him, but Louis rises calmly enough, though his gaze flits briefly to the door. Claudia can't be too far off, but he doesn't bring her up just yet... he hasn't decided what to say, and decides to listen to Lestat first.

Nodding, Louis makes a gesture with one hand to the opposite chair. "Of course, Lestat..." It comes as no surprise that Lestat needs to speak with him after he'd run off the other night, but Louis makes no mention of that now.

He sits once Lestat does, his limbs folding in a graceful way that he's completely unaware of. "What is it?"

[immortalbrat]

"I need to know how you feel about me." He takes a deep breath, shaking his head in an attempt to clear his thoughts which causes a bit of hair to come loose from and fall ever so flatteringly in his face. "I need to know what-- I need to speak with you as though you remember. I need to settle things with you at last Louis."

[always_whining]

"Lestat..." Louis pauses, shakes his head, and leans forward in his chair. He doesn't touch Lestat this time, remembering all too well how he'd reacted.

He knows, now, how little Lestat remembers after a certain point -- how moments between them have been erased, ones that would have put Lestat at ease. "Just as I do not remember things, neither do you. There are..." Louis pauses, then shakes his head, and his hand restlessly moves to the arm of his chair. "You are my maker, and I love you. It is as simple as that."

[immortalbrat]

"You cannot know how much it hurts me Louis, how it kills me to hear it. To think what you might mean when you say this, to think you might mean it how I wished you might mean it so long ago. "

He frowns, not wanting to admit it. Still he says it, he must for Daniel. "Even how I wished you might mean it so recently-- but now...I cannot love you. I am your maker, yes there is that, but nothing more. There can be nothing more."

[always_whining]

Louis shakes his head slowly, meaning to say that it wasn't supposed to be hurtful. That isn't why he said it at all.

Despite his vampiric stoicism, Louis is quite unable to hide his surprise at Lestat's response -- and his hurt, but he doesn't understand. "What do you mean? You are far more than my maker, Lestat. Perhaps that is how it was once, but... how can it come to this? How can it come to you... not feeling any love at all? You have always loved many, and yet you choose to go out of your way to tell me you don't love me, why? To hurt me?" Louis can think of nothing else but this... it simply doesn't occur to him that Lestat could only love one or two people at a time, or why he would choose to close him out of his heart.

[immortalbrat]

"No-- no Louis. No. I do not want to hurt you." Lestat cannot help now but to feel guilty, he tells himself he shouldn't. But still he cannot help it. Louis does these things to him, there is simply something about him that incites such feelings.

"I do not want to hurt anyone Louis. But least of all do I wish to hurt my husband, least of all do I wish to hurt those that I have chosen to stay with, those who have chosen to stay by my side." Shaking his head he sighs a little.

"Many have hurt me, and there are many that I have hurt, but they have stood by me and I will not leave them. Coming to you today, seeing you now, and speaking to you...I know for certain that there can be nothing more between us than that. Perhaps in time there may be friendship, but I know that I cannot love you, not in the way that you might wish me to, not in the way we might have once loved each other."

[always_whining]

For a moment Louis simply stares at Lestat, as though he doesn't even recognize him, but when he speaks his voice is soft and even. "I would never presume to get between you and your new husband, Lestat, but never have I known you to have limited love. Your love for your husband does not have to be the same as your love for me, it doesn't mean you can't love me at all. You are foolish to think so. I love you in one way, Armand in another..." Louis almost mentions Claudia, but then thinks better of it; that wasn't the right way to steer into that subject.

"Why do you do this? You know I am no threat to you, to him, to anyone, and yet you come here to tell me that not even friendship is certain between us?" Louis shakes his head, then laughs lowly and rises. "This is ridiculous, Lestat. And yet you will do what you wish, so I have nothing else to say about it."

[immortalbrat]

His eyes betray the pain he feels but he forces himself to look at him directly as he speaks, revealing to him what he very likely does not wish to hear. "We made love, you and I, the last time we were together...and then you left. You believed I had no room in my heart for you, and I think perhaps you were right. If there was no room for you then as a lover things have certainly not changed for the better now Louis."

[always_whining]

Louis shakes his head slowly, then stands and moves around behind the chair, his back to Lestat. "If there is no room, that is for you to decide, Lestat. I have never been in the position to make any demands of you. But I do not have to be your lover. There are other kinds of love, and other ways to show it. Your carelessness... your treatment that it has to be one way or the other pains me. It is never all or nothing, Lestat -- it has never been that way with us, why now?"

[immortalbrat]

"Because in truth I have given my heart quite fully to someone." He fidgets nervously with the ring on his right hand, his heart beating out of rhythm. "And what love I do have is for another. But there are other kinds of love Louis-- we might have some sort of friendship. There might be something."

For the first time this evening he approaches him, bypassing the chair to take his hand. "We might be friends, allies, or at the very least--" he laughs a little, "we might try not to kill each other. We might be civil so that in time we can be friends. But I do not think it shall ever be more than this."

[always_whining]

"Might be something?" Louis laughs softly, though the sound is only sad, and he gently disentangles his hand from Lestat's. "I'm not going to be uncivil to you. But you've hurt me more than you realize, and for no reason at all."

Shaking his head, Louis finally brings up the subject he's wanted to. " Claudia is here now, Lestat. Let her be, if you will. She doesn't remember anything... and she can't be more than ten. Do not tell her about what she did, or what happened to her. Please don't... not yet... and tell the others, when you see them. I will do the same. And Armand... I do not think he would, but please be certain he won't..."

[immortalbrat]

He closes his eyes now, tears threatening more than he should like Louis to know. The thought of Claudia frightens him, but if it is as he says it is not the Claudia that hates him so. Still he has not seen her yet, he cannot know for certain and it leave him uneasy. "I did not wish to hurt you Louis. I wanted to-- I will not tell her. She did always love you Louis, you and she were more suited, I should have let you go then. But then, that isn't like me at all is it?"

There is guilt now, a familiar pain rising within him. He scoffs at himself and shakes his head almost in disappointment though at what even he cannot be sure. "I will leave her to you. I will cause you no more pain if I can help it." He moves toward the door, stopping just as he reaches it to look back at him, unable to just leave it all at that. "Is there any chance to mend it Louis? Any chance at all? Can you ever be happy with just a friendship between us?"

[always_whining]

Frowning, Louis' eyes remain on the top of the chair. He nods, briefly, and chooses not to argue with Lestat anymore. There was really no point to it at all, which is something he was slowly beginning to understand.

Gently, he lifts his hand in a quiet gesture for Lestat to leave. It isn't harsh... there's something strangely comforting about it. "Just go, Lestat. There is nothing to mend. Do as you wish, as you always have."

[immortalbrat]

"If I did not care for you I would not have come. And if I did not love him as I did I would not have seen fit to settle such things, to prevent any distrust between us. I created you, I will always care for you..." He turns once more to leave, but instead of moving forward he rounds again to face him.

"We will speak again Louis. I promise you. I will fix this, I will not let this fester until we despise each other so." And with that he is gone.