England I

[always_tea_time]

[Suddenly, accidental audio.]

..--what in the name of Bess is going on here?!

[He seems to be viciously attacking the buttons on the LP, pressing whatever he can to make it work.]

Giant rabbits... I must be near the Galapagos. Or something of a similar nature...

[Swishing sounds as he walks straight through the undergrowth]

Bollocks.

[More

Comments

[Voice]

[omnomfuckyeah]

[FINALLY ANOTHER ALLY but it's England BUT IT'S NOT RUSSIA but it's England BUT--oh screw it, he's excited, no matter what he says, he's missed this guy]

England!! England, that's you, right?! Ha ha ha, I knew you'd pop on this damn island one day!

[Voice]

[always_tea_time]

What the blue blazes--

[Looking around, not that you can see.]

... where did that come from...

..... America?

Why didn't I guess it would be somehow his fault?

[Voice]

[omnomfuckyeah]

[insert obnoxious laughing here]

It came from your LP, old man! Haven't you seen a phone before, it's kinda like one of those only not! Shaped funny and all but--

Uh--hey! It's not my fault we're all here! It's that Salkia guy's fault!

[Voice]

[always_tea_time]

LP? ... phone? [Phones not invented for another 20 years for him ahahaha your future gadgets confuse him.] For goodness sake, speak sense if you're going to speak to me at all, boy.

Salkia. A man called Salkia has brought us here?

[Voice]

[omnomfuckyeah]

Yeah! Never heard of 'em before?

For some reason, yeah. He's a fucking nutcase! I think he's in cahoots with Russia and is trying to make everyone become one with him so that they can combine with SUPER COMMIE POWERS OF EVIL and wreak havoc on the entire world!!

Hence why I'm the hero and am gonna save everyone here!

[then he pauses, just then realizing that something was off]

Did you just call me "boy"?

[Voice]

[always_tea_time]

... You are making absolutely no sense. Is it possible you've become even more of an idiot in my absence?

Oh, so you do at least still have your sense of hearing. Yes, I called you "boy", that happens to be what you are.

[Voice]

[omnomfuckyeah]

For the last time, Iggy, I'm not an idiot! I'm the hero, and I always make sense!

You're the one who's not making sense, what's been up your ass and died? You don't even know what a phone is, do you?

[Voice]

[always_tea_time]

I should like to contest that. I have no idea what you mean by "phone" or "LP" or "commie" or anything like that, though I wouldn't put it past Russia to do something so underhanded and stick me on some god-forsaken island just so he can win the Great Game.

[He's been playing with the buttons all this time, and now the video's switched on. Say hello to fully plumed tricorn hat, large cravat, great big gold earrings and an extremely expensive looking coat outlined in gold.]

Oh bloody hell, what's it doing now...

[Voice => Video] hiatus what is this

[omnomfuckyeah]

Jeez, you're screwed up. It's all Russia's fault, he's a fucking communist and I'll gladly educate them on the evils such people stand for!

[and hello there, extravagant clothing, he hasn't seen that since...well, before he had all his states; California's the newest in Iggy's time]

Uh, wait, hold on a sec!

[He switches it to video, as if it'll give him a better look at England; it doesn't, but have a gander at that seriously confused, almost dreadful expression]

Oh, fuck.

[Video] bb you came back for meeee~! =3=

[always_tea_time]

[Slight smirk, but that's the default expression.]

Mind your language when speaking to your betters, boy.

[Looks a little closer at the screen, slightly perplexed.]

... when did you get glasses?

[Video] Always and forever~!! <3

[omnomfuckyeah]

[he furrows his brows, lips pursed; this would be the last thing he expected]

My betters? Like hell you're better than me! I'm a world power and you're at the short end of the war spoils!

Texas? [he taps his glasses, can't help but mention the heroic story of saving the Republic of Texas!] Got her way back in 1845, had to annex her to keep her safe from Mexico. Guy's an ass, I'm still holding a grudge for the Alamo!

[Video] Speaking of hiatuses, SORRY FOR BEING SO SLOW.

[always_tea_time]

I beg your pardon? There's being big for your boots and then there's just being delusional. I am the British Empire, the greatest world power on God's green Earth.

Well, I haven't seen you face-to-face in a while, so forgive me for not being up to date.

[Video] It's fine, it's fine~! <33!

[omnomfuckyeah]

[wait for it...wait for it...

Aaaaand cue hysterical, tears-in-the-eyes, LP-dropping laughter. He'll be laughing for a while before he picks up the LP again, wiping tears from his eyes]

Greatest world power? Oh, man aren't you behind!!

[Video]

[always_tea_time]

[Twitch. Trying to be patient with you America, but it is wearing painfully thin.]

So what Vietnam said is true then. You're from further in the future. [Sniffs, looking disdainfully down his nose at you.] You should at least remember that I demand proper respect.

[Video]

[omnomfuckyeah]

[he stops suddenly, furrowing his eyebrows at the mention of Vietnam, then quickly conjures up that smile of his]

Nope! Demand all you want, though, but that imperialist crap's not cool here, got it?

[Video]

[always_tea_time]

[Why hello there sore spot. This manipulative bastard here is going to file away that little reaction for later use.]

What exactly is your problem with authority, America? I shall be as imperialistic as I please.