The gift of companionship
A lot of times I wonder why we want relationships. And often times the reasons I think of revolve around me and what the person can do for/with/to me but I think that mentality is off point. Recently a co workers husband had a stroke and a thought really hit me and took me back to the last scene of the Notebook. As corny as it is, when you are with someone for that long, you kinda do wish that you die with them because living without them doesn’t really seem to be an option. I mean, you meet this random person like 2 ships passing in the night and eventually decide to plot your courses together. You build a life together, raise kids together, share the highs and lows together, strive for better while enduring worse together, laugh and cry together, argue and rejoice together, see youth turn into being old together. You actually share your life with this person and give them permission to be in it. Then all of a sudden…this person is…gone! How do you cope with that? How do you continue on once again as a lone ship in the night when for so long you have been one of two traveling life’s waters together. But we would never give back the journey because we don’t like the destination would we? And that’s why I feel that companionship, true companionship, is a gift. Not just in a romantic sense either but also in regards to deep, life long friends. But we only get out of it what we put in and we have to be careful where we chose to invest this gift of friendship. People that hold on too tight may see us as a possession as opposed to a companion and people that don’t hold on to their historic friends tooth and nail may see us as replaceable commodities. But I wonder for those who hold on too tight, isn’t their foundation of friendship held together with the glue of possessive assumption that’s falls apart and breaks into its separate fragments all too easy. But for those who discard of their past friends, do they have and deep roots to do this thing called life. New friends (like shallow roots) are great cuz they are close to the surface of who you are today and provide you with new stimuli and current excitement. These things are great for sunny days and light rain because they touch the external, outward side of you. But when the wind and downpours come, isn’t it better to have those ppl who know the core of you and can hold you firmly in place with deep roots that are anchored in both history and familiarity? Upgrading friends every so often or replacing the old with the new may be a dangerous prospect here because despite how well you get along, new ppl just don’t truly know you. They know the you of today and may get to know the you of tomorrow, but the you of yesterday is a stranger to them.
Anyways I can understand wanting to die with someone your lived your whole life with. I don’t know if I could bare the loss. So for those of you in real relationships, appreciate the gift of companionship the one you are with has given you. Be thankful that they oblige to share their life with you and treat them well. For those of you with historic friends, try to keep them and try to make new friends historic friends. Just realize the gift and that gifts aren’t always around forever.
Anyways I can understand wanting to die with someone your lived your whole life with. I don’t know if I could bare the loss. So for those of you in real relationships, appreciate the gift of companionship the one you are with has given you. Be thankful that they oblige to share their life with you and treat them well. For those of you with historic friends, try to keep them and try to make new friends historic friends. Just realize the gift and that gifts aren’t always around forever.