Tony Gates will Judo your FACE.
Think of this as a highlight reel. Imagine you are at a party, dance, gala event, and they are showing a montage of the greatness of the conversations that two lovely, young, impressionable women have had. It would go a little something like this...
"Irish, brown hair, freckles, 15+, your name has to start with an S and end with a HANNON. OR an L and end with an IZ."
*
Liz [12:05 AM]: did they bribe you with applejacks and crumb cake?
Liz [12:05 AM]: is that why you did this?
Liz [12:05 AM]: as a means for pay?
Shannon [12:05 AM]: *hangs head in shame*
Liz [12:05 AM]: Shannon!
Shannon [12:06 AM]: I CANT RESIST THE APPLEJACKS!
Shannon [12:06 AM]: I TRIED!
Liz [12:06 AM]: you know I would have helped you
Shannon [12:06 AM]: I CANT!
Liz [12:06 AM]: I WOULD HAVE GIVEN YOU APPLEJACKS!!!!!!!!!!!
Moral of the story? Shannon [12:11 AM]: you should never have a one night stand for food with the person you like
*
Shannon [12:21 AM]: what would i ever do with out you!?
Shannon [12:21 AM]: .. oh .. i think we both know that
Liz [12:21 AM]: Become a pregnant whore, with numerous children, infested with STDs, married to a Jew?
Shannon [12:22 AM]: .. but
Shannon [12:22 AM]: at least i'd have my applejacks, right?
The preceding conversation was not, in any way, intended to be defamaitory to Jews. Just certain Jews.
*
About Mr. Mc'Irishpenguin:
Liz [12:06 AM]: I have a dirty little welsh penguin.
Shannon [12:06 AM]: lol
Shannon [12:06 AM]: oh oh
Shannon [12:06 AM]: sex!
Liz [12:07 AM]: sex!
Liz [12:07 AM]: have sex!
Shannon [12:07 AM]: lol
Liz [12:08 AM]: sex..
Shannon [12:08 AM]: sexy
Liz [12:08 AM]: sneeze!
*
Shannon [12:18 AM]: tell her to go .... find a banana and eat it
*
Liz: I'm sorry if SOME of us have the maturity of a doily.
Shannon: you'd be surprised at the maturity of a doily.
G-Man: I'll have you know I've seen some pretty sophisticated doilies.
Liz: And Shannon! Whose side are you on?
Shannon: The doily.
I'd like to put soooo many other things on here, to demonstrate the awesome, but it would offend way too many.
Suicide-Sac pwns.
To reiterate a conversation: Why do people insist on referring to their significant others by "my girlfriend" or "my boyfriend"? You're being a possessive asshat. People know you're dating someone; it's quite obvious. So in the spirit of respecting the person who lowered his or her standards enough to date you, acknowledge him or her by the correct name.
Major snaps to Stacy for showing her landlord who's boss and getting her hot water back. You show him who's top hyena/cheetah.
My Pats are still undefeated at 13-0. And while I adore Mike Tomlin, he needs to let his players know that they need a brain-mouth filter on that whole talking thing. And a major fucking attitude check. Guaranteeing that you're going to beat a powerhouse team, Smith? Really? And trying to intimidate Brady on the field? Well, you clearly didn't scare him or Belicheck, because the latter thinks your punk ass is nothing compared to other safeties that they've faced. Fuck the asterisk. You can tape all the signals you want, but you can't feign greatness. Now if the D can wake up during a game, particularly in the second half, we'll probably keep that 0 after the hyphen.
Is anyone else severely disturbed and concerned by the ClearBlue pregnancy test commercials? They're like a perverted mashup of a Gillete razor commercial, crappy action film, and a James Lipton reading.
If anyone would like to buy a uterus, I'm going to put mine up for sale. Maybe on E-Bay, I haven't quite decided. I don't care if you're broke ass poor and have no money to buy it, I'll give it away for free at this point.
Uhh... My computer is still not a Mac. Or even remotely good.
Much remains unsaid.
"Irish, brown hair, freckles, 15+, your name has to start with an S and end with a HANNON. OR an L and end with an IZ."
*
Liz [12:05 AM]: did they bribe you with applejacks and crumb cake?
Liz [12:05 AM]: is that why you did this?
Liz [12:05 AM]: as a means for pay?
Shannon [12:05 AM]: *hangs head in shame*
Liz [12:05 AM]: Shannon!
Shannon [12:06 AM]: I CANT RESIST THE APPLEJACKS!
Shannon [12:06 AM]: I TRIED!
Liz [12:06 AM]: you know I would have helped you
Shannon [12:06 AM]: I CANT!
Liz [12:06 AM]: I WOULD HAVE GIVEN YOU APPLEJACKS!!!!!!!!!!!
Moral of the story? Shannon [12:11 AM]: you should never have a one night stand for food with the person you like
*
Shannon [12:21 AM]: what would i ever do with out you!?
Shannon [12:21 AM]: .. oh .. i think we both know that
Liz [12:21 AM]: Become a pregnant whore, with numerous children, infested with STDs, married to a Jew?
Shannon [12:22 AM]: .. but
Shannon [12:22 AM]: at least i'd have my applejacks, right?
The preceding conversation was not, in any way, intended to be defamaitory to Jews. Just certain Jews.
*
About Mr. Mc'Irishpenguin:
Liz [12:06 AM]: I have a dirty little welsh penguin.
Shannon [12:06 AM]: lol
Shannon [12:06 AM]: oh oh
Shannon [12:06 AM]: sex!
Liz [12:07 AM]: sex!
Liz [12:07 AM]: have sex!
Shannon [12:07 AM]: lol
Liz [12:08 AM]: sex..
Shannon [12:08 AM]: sexy
Liz [12:08 AM]: sneeze!
*
Shannon [12:18 AM]: tell her to go .... find a banana and eat it
*
Liz: I'm sorry if SOME of us have the maturity of a doily.
Shannon: you'd be surprised at the maturity of a doily.
G-Man: I'll have you know I've seen some pretty sophisticated doilies.
Liz: And Shannon! Whose side are you on?
Shannon: The doily.
I'd like to put soooo many other things on here, to demonstrate the awesome, but it would offend way too many.
Suicide-Sac pwns.
To reiterate a conversation: Why do people insist on referring to their significant others by "my girlfriend" or "my boyfriend"? You're being a possessive asshat. People know you're dating someone; it's quite obvious. So in the spirit of respecting the person who lowered his or her standards enough to date you, acknowledge him or her by the correct name.
Major snaps to Stacy for showing her landlord who's boss and getting her hot water back. You show him who's top hyena/cheetah.
My Pats are still undefeated at 13-0. And while I adore Mike Tomlin, he needs to let his players know that they need a brain-mouth filter on that whole talking thing. And a major fucking attitude check. Guaranteeing that you're going to beat a powerhouse team, Smith? Really? And trying to intimidate Brady on the field? Well, you clearly didn't scare him or Belicheck, because the latter thinks your punk ass is nothing compared to other safeties that they've faced. Fuck the asterisk. You can tape all the signals you want, but you can't feign greatness. Now if the D can wake up during a game, particularly in the second half, we'll probably keep that 0 after the hyphen.
Is anyone else severely disturbed and concerned by the ClearBlue pregnancy test commercials? They're like a perverted mashup of a Gillete razor commercial, crappy action film, and a James Lipton reading.
If anyone would like to buy a uterus, I'm going to put mine up for sale. Maybe on E-Bay, I haven't quite decided. I don't care if you're broke ass poor and have no money to buy it, I'll give it away for free at this point.
Uhh... My computer is still not a Mac. Or even remotely good.
Much remains unsaid.