Crisis Management, a White Collar fanfiction
Title: Crisis Management
Rating: PG
Characters: Neal, Mozzie, Peter
Genre: Gen
Spoilers: None
Word Count: ~690
Disclaimer: All recognizable characters belong to Jeff Eastin and USA Network.
Summary: Neal really thought he had seen the depths of Mozzie's paranoia, until this.
Author’s Note: Another installment of my stuck-in-an-elevator-at-the-FBI 'verse. A sequel to Fish Tale.
“Why are you so nervous, Moz? It’s not like this is the first time you’ve been here.”
“I'm being cautious, Neal. One should never let their guard down in a place full of Big Brother’s minions. And I’m telling you, this is the last time I set foot in a Suits building...wait, what’s happening?”
“Uh-oh, here we go again.”
“What? What’s going on?”
“Don’t worry. This elevator likes to stop working every once in a while.”
“You’re saying you were trapped here before?”
“Yeah, last week.”
“And you think these are just coincidences? They’re trying to keep you here for a reason!”
“Don’t be ridiculous. Peter was with me, and two days ago Jones and Diana got stuck as well…what’s wrong with you anyway? You were never this hysterical when we pulled all those elevator cons back then.”
“That’s different. We caused the elevator malfunction before, and now it’s the Suits’ doing! Hey, don’t think I don’t know you’re watching us, pigs!”
“No, Moz-”
“How many suits do you have hiding out there, huh?!"
“What are you-“
“Illegal imprisonment of upstanding citizens! I will sue you! Let us out now or you'll regret it!"
“Moz, Mozzie! Listen to me, all right? No one's keeping us here. I’m sure there’s just some minor problem with the control system. We just need to get hold of the security guard through the intercom......”
“......”
“............”
“It’s not even ringing, Neal!”
“...Well, maybe it is something serious this time.”
“Wait, do you smell that?”
“What?”
“Isn’t that burning insulation? Sweet Elvis Costello, this thing is gonna explode!”
“No, Moz. It’s just the curry rice you had for lunch. You dropped some on your shirt, remember?”
“...Oh...I do smell like curry.”
“You do.”
“Still, we can’t stay here. This thing won’t hold for long.”
“Overstating a little, don’t you think?”
“Neal! Do you know how many people died because of elevator related accidents every year?”
“I honestly don’t. And no, please don’t tell me.”
“You have no sense of crisis! What did I tell you about self-preservation all this time?”
“Relax, Peter’s expecting us. I’m sure he’ll start looking for us soon since we haven’t show. Besides, I know a way out in case of an emergency.”
“You do?”
“Yeah, I found a way to hack into the control panel and reboot the system myself after I was stuck here last time.”
“Then why didn’t you say so earlier!”
“Because it’s only for emergency.”
“This is an emergency!”
“I mean emergent emergency, Moz, not the-aliens-are-attacking-us emergency. Peter will kill me if he finds out I break into the Bureau’s security system after he specifically told me not to.”
“That is if the elevator hasn’t killed us first!”
“Okay, okay...just...calm down a little. Hey look, I got a bar on my cell. Let me try to text Peter, see if he can get us some help.”
------
“Stuck in the elevator (again) with Moz. Intercom is dead. Can you call the guard?”
“Really? Twice in a week?”
“Check my tracker if you don’t believe me.”
“Just did. You two OK in there?”
“We’re fine, but please hurry. Moz’s paranoia is on full force.”
“Is that so? May be I should wait for a while before calling for help then.”
“HAHA, very funny. Seriously get us out please. Don’t think I can handle full-on Mozzieism much longer.”
“All right. You want the good or bad news first?”
“Just tell me.”
“The guard said a reboot didn’t work. They found some bugs in the control program but it’s gonna take at least an hour to get them fixed.”
“I don’t see any good news.”
“Good news is you can tell Mozzie he won’t die today.”
“Eh...Neal?”
“Yeah, Moz.”
“I just heard some movement above the ceiling…I think something’s coming after us!”
“God…this is going to be a looong hour...”
THE END
Rating: PG
Characters: Neal, Mozzie, Peter
Genre: Gen
Spoilers: None
Word Count: ~690
Disclaimer: All recognizable characters belong to Jeff Eastin and USA Network.
Summary: Neal really thought he had seen the depths of Mozzie's paranoia, until this.
Author’s Note: Another installment of my stuck-in-an-elevator-at-the-FBI 'verse. A sequel to Fish Tale.
“Why are you so nervous, Moz? It’s not like this is the first time you’ve been here.”
“I'm being cautious, Neal. One should never let their guard down in a place full of Big Brother’s minions. And I’m telling you, this is the last time I set foot in a Suits building...wait, what’s happening?”
“Uh-oh, here we go again.”
“What? What’s going on?”
“Don’t worry. This elevator likes to stop working every once in a while.”
“You’re saying you were trapped here before?”
“Yeah, last week.”
“And you think these are just coincidences? They’re trying to keep you here for a reason!”
“Don’t be ridiculous. Peter was with me, and two days ago Jones and Diana got stuck as well…what’s wrong with you anyway? You were never this hysterical when we pulled all those elevator cons back then.”
“That’s different. We caused the elevator malfunction before, and now it’s the Suits’ doing! Hey, don’t think I don’t know you’re watching us, pigs!”
“No, Moz-”
“How many suits do you have hiding out there, huh?!"
“What are you-“
“Illegal imprisonment of upstanding citizens! I will sue you! Let us out now or you'll regret it!"
“Moz, Mozzie! Listen to me, all right? No one's keeping us here. I’m sure there’s just some minor problem with the control system. We just need to get hold of the security guard through the intercom......”
“......”
“............”
“It’s not even ringing, Neal!”
“...Well, maybe it is something serious this time.”
“Wait, do you smell that?”
“What?”
“Isn’t that burning insulation? Sweet Elvis Costello, this thing is gonna explode!”
“No, Moz. It’s just the curry rice you had for lunch. You dropped some on your shirt, remember?”
“...Oh...I do smell like curry.”
“You do.”
“Still, we can’t stay here. This thing won’t hold for long.”
“Overstating a little, don’t you think?”
“Neal! Do you know how many people died because of elevator related accidents every year?”
“I honestly don’t. And no, please don’t tell me.”
“You have no sense of crisis! What did I tell you about self-preservation all this time?”
“Relax, Peter’s expecting us. I’m sure he’ll start looking for us soon since we haven’t show. Besides, I know a way out in case of an emergency.”
“You do?”
“Yeah, I found a way to hack into the control panel and reboot the system myself after I was stuck here last time.”
“Then why didn’t you say so earlier!”
“Because it’s only for emergency.”
“This is an emergency!”
“I mean emergent emergency, Moz, not the-aliens-are-attacking-us emergency. Peter will kill me if he finds out I break into the Bureau’s security system after he specifically told me not to.”
“That is if the elevator hasn’t killed us first!”
“Okay, okay...just...calm down a little. Hey look, I got a bar on my cell. Let me try to text Peter, see if he can get us some help.”
------
“Stuck in the elevator (again) with Moz. Intercom is dead. Can you call the guard?”
“Really? Twice in a week?”
“Check my tracker if you don’t believe me.”
“Just did. You two OK in there?”
“We’re fine, but please hurry. Moz’s paranoia is on full force.”
“Is that so? May be I should wait for a while before calling for help then.”
“HAHA, very funny. Seriously get us out please. Don’t think I can handle full-on Mozzieism much longer.”
“All right. You want the good or bad news first?”
“Just tell me.”
“The guard said a reboot didn’t work. They found some bugs in the control program but it’s gonna take at least an hour to get them fixed.”
“I don’t see any good news.”
“Good news is you can tell Mozzie he won’t die today.”
“Eh...Neal?”
“Yeah, Moz.”
“I just heard some movement above the ceiling…I think something’s coming after us!”
“God…this is going to be a looong hour...”
THE END