Friends that got hurt in the process.
Yesterday I was a bitch. Friends for the first time saw the side of me that they never did before. I might lose a few friends over this. I know some of them will read this. I will repeat for myself and for them, my behavior.
My high school, is holding me back. I cant do anything, I cant get to know anyone. I have no friends around me. I learn things about guys/males everyday, and they arent good things. What they do when they break up with someone. Ugh...... But Im letting my darker sider run free. because thats all I can have. If I cant have a friends, and crushes. I will have enemies, and people hate me. Becuase that feels lot better then emptiness. Most people would ask why do I do this when Im in the presence of my friends. because the hate fuels me for a long time, while the friendship last only a day. I have nothing for months. I need something I will hate, I will be hated. Im sorry for those that get in the way and get hurt. Im sorry. But I cannot help it. Everyone moving past me, never noticing me. Having someone to hold, to talk to. And I have nothing. I rather live off of the hate seeping from them, and the glares they give me. Atleast they notice me and not think me like everyone else in their lives. Im sorry my friends for having seen me like that. Im sorry. But I dont know what to do. I need something that I know I wont have for years to come.
Now you know the sadness of my excuse.
Your move
Your decision
My high school, is holding me back. I cant do anything, I cant get to know anyone. I have no friends around me. I learn things about guys/males everyday, and they arent good things. What they do when they break up with someone. Ugh...... But Im letting my darker sider run free. because thats all I can have. If I cant have a friends, and crushes. I will have enemies, and people hate me. Becuase that feels lot better then emptiness. Most people would ask why do I do this when Im in the presence of my friends. because the hate fuels me for a long time, while the friendship last only a day. I have nothing for months. I need something I will hate, I will be hated. Im sorry for those that get in the way and get hurt. Im sorry. But I cannot help it. Everyone moving past me, never noticing me. Having someone to hold, to talk to. And I have nothing. I rather live off of the hate seeping from them, and the glares they give me. Atleast they notice me and not think me like everyone else in their lives. Im sorry my friends for having seen me like that. Im sorry. But I dont know what to do. I need something that I know I wont have for years to come.
Now you know the sadness of my excuse.
Your move
Your decision