its over.....
its over.....i feel like im jsut gonna explode..i just found out that apperantly matt and Soraya are going out..and supposeldy have been doing things before the relationship began.....and you know what makes me mad the most.....is that she couldnt fucking tell me that she liked him...first she lies and tells me that she doesnt....then next thing you knwo ihear from a bird that its totally the opposite.....great another important person ive lost........first ryan......and that really hurt me...that wound will never heal...he was a brother to me..he was the only one that was able to keep me at my feet and do what was right....he was the only one who was able to absorb all the anger and sadness away and turn me into a nice good person..ever since ive lost ryan it damaged me and left a scar in my life.....now Soraya is gone now...along with some fucking faggget that cant even afford a pair of fuckign shoes.......and you wanan know the worst part about that situation...hes better looking than me...hes way more smarter than me.....hes totally better than me in every way....looks,physic,smarts,everything....which makes me feel relaly horrible.......and thne i get this letter from her saying hat she wants me to move on and to do all this shit and that relaly upsets me more because then shes liek oh dont ever forget me and plz sitll be my friend and all this FUCKIGN BULLSHIT THAT I HATE I WILL NOT HIDE MY EMOTIONS ANY LONGER I WILL FIND A TOMBSTONE AND CARVE MY NAME ON IT AND LAY IT NEXT TO MY FUCKING DEAD BROTHER WHO I WILL SEE AGAIN IN W.E FUCKIGN PLACE YOU GO TO WHEN YOU FUCKING DIE!!!!.....plz save me steven...plz..............................i have no purpose in living any longer........god plz take my life...god you fucking suck!!!!!!...your religion is bullshit!!!!!!!!!!!its all fantasy...cmon kill me...kill me plzz...end my fuckign life............whhy must i suffer this fuckign much.....why is there no end to this fucking life.........i have no one anymore....i have nothing......after all this time i actually thought that i didnt have to be independent anymore...after when i finally found happiness and fond eeverything...i end up with nothing...........im lost.........like the fuckign dog that i am.....im fuckign lost....i have no hope for anything anymore.......i guess all i can do now is join that comunity that i found in sunset place........i guess Ryan was right all along....we are all alone in the end.....no matter what......we all die alone......