(no subject)
I'm sitting here facing just a month left in Canada, 5 projects left to turn in, 1 essay that i have no idea about, and trying to tie up the loose ends with everyone. The more I think about it, the less i want to go home, but the more i think about home, the more i miss my mom and dad. The counseling centre at York called today to let me know that i haven't been forgotten about, it just that i'm still on the waiting list to get counseling. Which sucks because I'll probably just get bumped into counseling right before i leave to go home. This whole thing just kinda brought it to light that even though I've been feeling better about stuff, that was just temporary because i thought i was making the correct steps to better myself and those have been put on hold. and it isn't helping that when my mom calls me to talk to me and i can't talk at the momment, she calls like 4 or 5 times so then i think something is wrong. It would just be simpler if i didn't know he was going to die. Then i wouldn't scare myself everytime my family calls. So there's the family problems. my other problems used to seem so small comparatively, but lately they have started to affect me. I have to somehow stop making sure that everyone else is happy and worry more about myself. I'm not happy. Today when I called home to talk with my mom, she knew instantly what was up. It's amazing how she can still read me like a book. I explained things to her about what was happening, and she totally called me on it. And it sucks because I don't know what to do about it, let alone deal with it before i leave, full fledged knowning that the summer can, and will probably, screw it up. GOD I HATE BEING THE NICE GUY!!! I'm tired of life. So here's to "happiness".
So messed up I want you here
In my room I want you here
Now we’re gonna be face-to-face
And I’ll lay right down in my favorite place
And now I wanna be your dog
Now I wanna be your dog
Now I wanna be your dog
Well c’mon
Now I’m ready to close my eyes
And now I’m ready to close my mind
And now I’m ready to feel your hand
And lose my heart on the burning sands
And now I wanna be your dog
And now I wenna be your dog
Now I wanna be your dog
Well c’mon
So messed up I want you here
In my room I want you here
Now we’re gonna be face-to-face
And I’ll lay right down in my favorite place
And now I wanna be your dog
Now I wanna be your dog
Now I wanna be your dog
Well c’mon
Now I’m ready to close my eyes
And now I’m ready to close my mind
And now I’m ready to feel your hand
And lose my heart on the burning sands
And now I wanna be your dog
And now I wenna be your dog
Now I wanna be your dog
Well c’mon