Who's an Idiot?
Me. I've managed to somehow develop a major crush on a real live person who I see everyday. Not a fictional character, not an actor, and not someone from another country who I'll never meet. It's bad, it's real bad. This is the first time this has happened since high school and since I've been with my fiancee. What's really bad is I can sort of see myself with this other person even though I love my fiancee and can't imagine life without him. It's more than just physical attraction. Is this an inkling of cheating tendencies, or regret that I've only experienced a relationship and a close friendship with one person?
What's good is nothing will ever, ever in a million years happen between myself and the other person. And, I'll probably get over it.
But, even though I love my fiancee, sometimes it's fun to imagine what it would be like if a guy made the first move instead of me always taking the reigns. I want to be pursued. I want to be asked out. I want someone to tell me they like me or love me before I say it. I want an awkward first date where we get to know each other and we discover we have a lot in common and we click. I want a knee-jellying kiss at the front door when he says good-bye. Then, I want him to call me the next day.
These are stupid Hollywood ideals of romance instilled into me through movies, but damn it, I still want them. Damn you John Cusack.
I'm torn between wanting something to happen, knowing it won't, and my fiancee. Being torn three ways is an awful feeling.
What's good is nothing will ever, ever in a million years happen between myself and the other person. And, I'll probably get over it.
But, even though I love my fiancee, sometimes it's fun to imagine what it would be like if a guy made the first move instead of me always taking the reigns. I want to be pursued. I want to be asked out. I want someone to tell me they like me or love me before I say it. I want an awkward first date where we get to know each other and we discover we have a lot in common and we click. I want a knee-jellying kiss at the front door when he says good-bye. Then, I want him to call me the next day.
These are stupid Hollywood ideals of romance instilled into me through movies, but damn it, I still want them. Damn you John Cusack.
I'm torn between wanting something to happen, knowing it won't, and my fiancee. Being torn three ways is an awful feeling.