shooting from the hip...
hey.
i need a job, hopefully someone will give me one soon.
i'm thinking way too much. after 18 months of oing out with someone, it doesn't just float away, which is a real shame. because there's a lot of things i'd like to forget. i know i need to be friends with her (or more precisely, she needs me to be friends with her), but i'm still a little bitter. it's only after a month of being single that i realise just what a disgusting, worthless person she was. my consolation in this whole thing is that i've changed her. but can you really do that? i went down to see her a couple of weekends ago. she's in the process of getting together with one of her friends there, which incidentally, is a blatant rebound and won't last for a more than few weeks. we had a conversation, the point of which was to tell her that i would not fuck her if she was either already dating, or going to lie about it to the other guy. so the first night we were there, we got drunk and fucked. with a mutual friend sleeping on the floor (i think!) 3 feet away from us. the next day, the other guy texted her: "hope you were good last night", and of course, she lied about it.
damn, does she even realise how nasty she is sometimes? a quick summary of how she treated me in the first 8 months of our relationship: she fucked someone else on the night we "went public", fucked another guy a week or two later when we had a row, continued to string along another guy (who was a total wanker himself, i'd love to cut his dick off), fucked him again a few months later; and when we actually moved in together, within a week, she sent me home from a night out with her ex-fuck-buddy (though i don't think anything happened), i caught her texting the guy from before about sexual positions, and a week later i found out that she had put his number on her phone under her female friend's name so she could carry on that shit without me knowing. then when i found out for sure that she had cheated on me, she continued to deny it until i dumped her, then she admitted it. everything was fine then, because i gave her an ultimatum to cut these men out of her life, or become single. so all was good until we broke up. to be fair, i didn't behave myself impeccably before or after that, but it was nowhere near at that level, and to a certain extent i think i can justify it.
i'm still really bitter though. i think at the time i didn't click, because i just couldn't believe that someone would act like that. oh yeah, and i still don't believe that kid was mine.
ugh, ok, rant over. i just really hope that she isn't going to turn back into that nasty, worthless bitch she was before. and even if she does, i'll probably still care about her. fucking women :)
so yeah. i need to develop a crush on someone. i'm fine single, but i haven't had a good crush for ages!
thinking of getting a tattoo or a piercing or something. but maybe that's because i'm bored. maybe a little cornish flag on my arm or something.
i need a job, hopefully someone will give me one soon.
i'm thinking way too much. after 18 months of oing out with someone, it doesn't just float away, which is a real shame. because there's a lot of things i'd like to forget. i know i need to be friends with her (or more precisely, she needs me to be friends with her), but i'm still a little bitter. it's only after a month of being single that i realise just what a disgusting, worthless person she was. my consolation in this whole thing is that i've changed her. but can you really do that? i went down to see her a couple of weekends ago. she's in the process of getting together with one of her friends there, which incidentally, is a blatant rebound and won't last for a more than few weeks. we had a conversation, the point of which was to tell her that i would not fuck her if she was either already dating, or going to lie about it to the other guy. so the first night we were there, we got drunk and fucked. with a mutual friend sleeping on the floor (i think!) 3 feet away from us. the next day, the other guy texted her: "hope you were good last night", and of course, she lied about it.
damn, does she even realise how nasty she is sometimes? a quick summary of how she treated me in the first 8 months of our relationship: she fucked someone else on the night we "went public", fucked another guy a week or two later when we had a row, continued to string along another guy (who was a total wanker himself, i'd love to cut his dick off), fucked him again a few months later; and when we actually moved in together, within a week, she sent me home from a night out with her ex-fuck-buddy (though i don't think anything happened), i caught her texting the guy from before about sexual positions, and a week later i found out that she had put his number on her phone under her female friend's name so she could carry on that shit without me knowing. then when i found out for sure that she had cheated on me, she continued to deny it until i dumped her, then she admitted it. everything was fine then, because i gave her an ultimatum to cut these men out of her life, or become single. so all was good until we broke up. to be fair, i didn't behave myself impeccably before or after that, but it was nowhere near at that level, and to a certain extent i think i can justify it.
i'm still really bitter though. i think at the time i didn't click, because i just couldn't believe that someone would act like that. oh yeah, and i still don't believe that kid was mine.
ugh, ok, rant over. i just really hope that she isn't going to turn back into that nasty, worthless bitch she was before. and even if she does, i'll probably still care about her. fucking women :)
so yeah. i need to develop a crush on someone. i'm fine single, but i haven't had a good crush for ages!
thinking of getting a tattoo or a piercing or something. but maybe that's because i'm bored. maybe a little cornish flag on my arm or something.