i haven't felt this way in a while.
Hello world of livejournal, how goes it?
Sometimes I wish I could just be held. I'm ridiculously sick, but not throwing up anymore and I just feel lonely pathetic and depressed. I feel like the world is crushing me down to tiny tiny bits of nothing. I hate winter and that it makes me sick.
I could do something to take my mind off a lot of this, I've trained myself fairly well, I know how my emotions work now and I can write out how I will react. I just can't bring myself to do anything, I've been trying to sleep for a while and I just can't. I can't fall asleep because my ankel's get this weird feeling like they need to be moving and walking around. And then I can't get comfortable, and sleeping is well just horrible. And I'm addicted to playing around on myspace and I can't stand it. And sometimes things can seem so good and sometimes I'm just sick of everything. Honestly.
"I kinda get the feeling like I'm being used"
Used by God and his muses.
I tend to get this feeling of just wanting to be more then what I am a lot. It's a lot to handle, I've been happy lately, really I have. Exuberent. On top of the world, I'm just a pussy with low pain tolerance. That's the truth actually, don't laugh. I'm accepting, you can make fun :-p I switched purses today, why does the girl clean after sleeping in and eating soup. Sigh. I miss Caroline desperately. I feel like we never see each other any more. Hopefully next semester we'll get closer since we have English together.
I need to cut my hair.
It's all about perspective... ya know? However you see the world it turns into that for you, of course you need other people and they're perspectives conjoined (lol) into your own self-world-of-stuff. I think one day I'm going to write a book. Somethings stupid or just something like catcher in the rye. I've been obsessed with the Sword of Truth series. I'm almost done. Lesigh. I'm feeling detached, can't you tell? Like I'm floating in my body waiting for someone to slap the hell out of me. Maybe I have mulitple personalites. That'd be interesting.
"you can shine like silver if you want"
It's like my life fell apart and rejumbled itself back together.
I'm hopefully going to Europe this summer, the inifinte thing to look forward to, that you're not really sure will ever happen. I like that in livejournal I can tell grammar to suck a cock. Some things just aren't fair are they?
Sometimes I wish I knew a lot of pointless beautiful pieces of knowledge.
Tragic Kingdom...ya know?
It's all about sacrafices. It's all a balance, so consuming and understanding of a balance. You convince and non-convince and re-convince. IT'S ALL IN YOUR HEAD
1:43, Padre hasn't been in here to scream at me yet, impressive? Are you actually 18 dear?
and what about college?
I miss everyone right now.
"what will we do
what will we say
what is the end of this game that we play"
my feet are stuck to this ground. I'm going to go read my livejournal and feel fittfully more depressed then go read some sword of truth and hopefully fall asleep. Smile world.
p.s. don't get addicated to stupid computer games, they'll run your life.
jackie
remember when we used to believe in beautiful
Sometimes I wish I could just be held. I'm ridiculously sick, but not throwing up anymore and I just feel lonely pathetic and depressed. I feel like the world is crushing me down to tiny tiny bits of nothing. I hate winter and that it makes me sick.
I could do something to take my mind off a lot of this, I've trained myself fairly well, I know how my emotions work now and I can write out how I will react. I just can't bring myself to do anything, I've been trying to sleep for a while and I just can't. I can't fall asleep because my ankel's get this weird feeling like they need to be moving and walking around. And then I can't get comfortable, and sleeping is well just horrible. And I'm addicted to playing around on myspace and I can't stand it. And sometimes things can seem so good and sometimes I'm just sick of everything. Honestly.
"I kinda get the feeling like I'm being used"
Used by God and his muses.
I tend to get this feeling of just wanting to be more then what I am a lot. It's a lot to handle, I've been happy lately, really I have. Exuberent. On top of the world, I'm just a pussy with low pain tolerance. That's the truth actually, don't laugh. I'm accepting, you can make fun :-p I switched purses today, why does the girl clean after sleeping in and eating soup. Sigh. I miss Caroline desperately. I feel like we never see each other any more. Hopefully next semester we'll get closer since we have English together.
I need to cut my hair.
It's all about perspective... ya know? However you see the world it turns into that for you, of course you need other people and they're perspectives conjoined (lol) into your own self-world-of-stuff. I think one day I'm going to write a book. Somethings stupid or just something like catcher in the rye. I've been obsessed with the Sword of Truth series. I'm almost done. Lesigh. I'm feeling detached, can't you tell? Like I'm floating in my body waiting for someone to slap the hell out of me. Maybe I have mulitple personalites. That'd be interesting.
"you can shine like silver if you want"
It's like my life fell apart and rejumbled itself back together.
I'm hopefully going to Europe this summer, the inifinte thing to look forward to, that you're not really sure will ever happen. I like that in livejournal I can tell grammar to suck a cock. Some things just aren't fair are they?
Sometimes I wish I knew a lot of pointless beautiful pieces of knowledge.
Tragic Kingdom...ya know?
It's all about sacrafices. It's all a balance, so consuming and understanding of a balance. You convince and non-convince and re-convince. IT'S ALL IN YOUR HEAD
1:43, Padre hasn't been in here to scream at me yet, impressive? Are you actually 18 dear?
and what about college?
I miss everyone right now.
"what will we do
what will we say
what is the end of this game that we play"
my feet are stuck to this ground. I'm going to go read my livejournal and feel fittfully more depressed then go read some sword of truth and hopefully fall asleep. Smile world.
p.s. don't get addicated to stupid computer games, they'll run your life.
jackie
remember when we used to believe in beautiful