Why I am as I am, part 1
My sense of worth really got changed when I turned 7. Before that I never really put any thought to my weight. But starting first grade changed something, I started comparing myself to the rest of the kids. Looking back at photos from that time I see that I was very normal for my age, but I remember feeling so much bigger than my more skinnier friends. Matters didn't get better when the interest in boys got in picture. The boys I liked, liked my friends and the boys I confessed to always turned me down, and since I wasn't an ugly girl it must be that I was fat ( at least in my mind). I started preferring to do things by myself and turning down invitations from my friends. things got worse since I was the first girl in my class to get menstruation and for my body to start developing. Suddenly I was the tallest girl in my class ( only lasted for a year ) and our teacher had the brilliant idea (not!) to tell the whole class why I had started to skip gym every now and then. Photos from fifth grade and upwards start to show me gaining more and more weight. It is around this time that my parents divorced, but I can't with honesty say if that affected my weight gain. What I do know is that my father have always been fat/obese and his talk of me being like him never did me any good (all though I know he never meant any harm and was never never malicious).
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