In the absence of fear - HITTER
Author: 
kitcountssouls
Rating: PG-13
Category: drama
Warning: psychological drama
Characters: Sami Khedira / Mesut Ozil
Wordcount: 1121 words
Summary: What if Hansel & Gretel weren't siblings? Inspired by the Brothers Grimm fairytale and adapted into fiction via Thomas Pynchon's Gravity's Rainbow.
Disclaimer: fiction, 100% fiction
Authors Notes: Inspired by the Brothers Grimm fairytale and adapted into fiction via Thomas Pynchon's Gravity's Rainbow; written for fslashexchange many moons ago, finally posting to own fic comm now just to clear all my fic folders from my slasher days.
When Mesut decided to begin his adulthood with a cross country hitch-hiking adventure, he had not imagined he would end up tied up in the back of a van hurdling alongside forest roads. His last ride had left him somewhere round the middle of the vast woods, and he thought it'd be a good idea to walk through, since thus far, his trip had been uneventful. Getting lost and subsequently falling in the unpredictable trap the apparently kind passer by had set up were hardly his idea of fun, and he was beginning to be quite afraid.
The van was speeding over the pebbled road and a ditch made Mesut lose his already precarious balance. As he fell to the side, he hit his head on the bench and succumbed into unconsciousness.
*
He wakes up in the dark. He's no longer bound, but he is unsure of his surroundings, so he doesn't move. The fear is rising in his chest, as he can feel there is someone else sharing his space. His heartbeat increases and soon he can hear his own booming heart, just a notch louder than his breathing.
“Relax!” a deep voice comes from incredibly close.
Mesut gasps, letting out a shrill cry. He hugs himself, bringing his knees to his chest.
“Don't be afraid of me. I'm a prisoner, just like you.”
The avalanche of information overwhelms Mesut. He tries to clam himself down and figure out what he needs to ask the other man.
“I'm Sami.”
“I'm Mesut.” he replies, his voice sounding so eerie in the pitch black darkness of wherever they are being held.
Then he hears the other shuffling towards him and in 10 seconds, a hand touches his knee. He jerks automatically, but then immediately reaches out, trying to counter the impolite move.
“Don't worry, I understand what you're going through.”
“Where are we? What is going on?”
And Sami begins his story. It's frightening, maddening and Mesut soon feels suffocated. He learns he's being held in a cage. Just like an animal, but not like a singing canary or a playful bunny. They're prisoners of a mad scientist who will soon start experimenting on them. The cage is the quietly scary alternative to the bellowing madness of the laboratory, and soon Mesut will appreciate the dark and the silence.
There is a bit of light during the day, but the cage is in the basement, so it's mostly dark. Dark to sharpen the features, the scientist had once told Sami. But even with being in the cage for almost 2 months, Sami cannot tell Mesut what is their captor upto. There was another boy, who stayed for a week or so, a scrawny tall boy. He was taken one night, to never return. Sami's been taken to the laboratory only twice so far, each time having to endure loud noises played over and over again and hallucination-like images on a giant screen.
Mesut understands what Sami means by accepting the cage as their new home, as opposed to the lab. What he doesn't understand is how is Sami so unafraid. How can he relate his stories so casually, unperturbed by Mesut's little twitches, which cannot go unnoticed.
Sami ends his story with a grim prediction, that the cage is all they have left and that he is resigned as to his future.
“Aren't you afraid?” Mesut asks, his own fear permeating his voice once more.
He can barely see Sami's contour, but somehow he feels the other man's shrug. There's a bit of a withholding, it seems, but Mesut is new and he doesn't press on. He knows he will never be as careless about whatever happens to him as Sami is and for that, he is sorry.
*
Over the next few days, Mesut gets to know Sami well and the other way around as well. Sometimes they talk for hours, just to fill the void of their shared prison. Sometimes they sit in complete silence, trying to discern the other's features in the poor light coming in through a dirty little window. They take each other in, learning to communicate with gestures they barely notice.
Food comes and goes, and Mesut never sees or hears the scientist. He doesn't fear him and his experimenting any less though, the man's absence being as terrifying as would his presence be, if not more. If he's being honest, it's the wait that's killing him. He wants to know why was he kidnapped, why is he being kept in a cage, for what purposes are his body and mind needed.
Sami doesn't know, even if Sami knows a lot of things. And after a while, Mesut gives up on finding out what may his fate be. When the time will come, he will know. For the moment, just being with Sami and sharing the cage is enough.
*
As time goes by, 10 days, then 2 full weeks, Mesut and Sami become closer. They are physically closer to one another, sometimes touching each other, a simple hand placed on a leg or shoulder or arm signalling more than words could.
And there comes the moment when Mesut understands that the only way to stop being scared is to dive head first into another, stronger emotion. He now understands why Sami's wasn't straightforward from the start.
For how can anyone tell a complete stranger that the only way to stop being afraid is to fall in love?
*
It has been a full month for Mesut in the darkness of the cage. He has touched the bars and went around it, he has gained full knowledge of the space enclosing him. The cage brought him a deeper feeling, forcing him somehow to find meaning in every phrase and gesture. The cage set him free, allowing him to reach out and find love.
And he knows Sami reciprocates, he's felt it all along, how the older man took care of him and guided him gently on the path to his discovery.
He can see Sami now, even in the darkest dark of the night. He can always see Sami and he knows Sami can always see him. They look at each other and it's all good. The fear is gone, buried deep, replaced by a burning feeling, urging them both to come closer and closer and closer...
*
The cage door opens wide and the scientist looks at the bodies asleep on the floor, their hands twinned even in their medicated slumber. So far, the experiment has been successful, and so, it is time for the new boy to go.
kitcountssouls
Rating: PG-13
Category: drama
Warning: psychological drama
Characters: Sami Khedira / Mesut Ozil
Wordcount: 1121 words
Summary: What if Hansel & Gretel weren't siblings? Inspired by the Brothers Grimm fairytale and adapted into fiction via Thomas Pynchon's Gravity's Rainbow.
Disclaimer: fiction, 100% fiction
Authors Notes: Inspired by the Brothers Grimm fairytale and adapted into fiction via Thomas Pynchon's Gravity's Rainbow; written for fslashexchange many moons ago, finally posting to own fic comm now just to clear all my fic folders from my slasher days.
When Mesut decided to begin his adulthood with a cross country hitch-hiking adventure, he had not imagined he would end up tied up in the back of a van hurdling alongside forest roads. His last ride had left him somewhere round the middle of the vast woods, and he thought it'd be a good idea to walk through, since thus far, his trip had been uneventful. Getting lost and subsequently falling in the unpredictable trap the apparently kind passer by had set up were hardly his idea of fun, and he was beginning to be quite afraid.
The van was speeding over the pebbled road and a ditch made Mesut lose his already precarious balance. As he fell to the side, he hit his head on the bench and succumbed into unconsciousness.
*
He wakes up in the dark. He's no longer bound, but he is unsure of his surroundings, so he doesn't move. The fear is rising in his chest, as he can feel there is someone else sharing his space. His heartbeat increases and soon he can hear his own booming heart, just a notch louder than his breathing.
“Relax!” a deep voice comes from incredibly close.
Mesut gasps, letting out a shrill cry. He hugs himself, bringing his knees to his chest.
“Don't be afraid of me. I'm a prisoner, just like you.”
The avalanche of information overwhelms Mesut. He tries to clam himself down and figure out what he needs to ask the other man.
“I'm Sami.”
“I'm Mesut.” he replies, his voice sounding so eerie in the pitch black darkness of wherever they are being held.
Then he hears the other shuffling towards him and in 10 seconds, a hand touches his knee. He jerks automatically, but then immediately reaches out, trying to counter the impolite move.
“Don't worry, I understand what you're going through.”
“Where are we? What is going on?”
And Sami begins his story. It's frightening, maddening and Mesut soon feels suffocated. He learns he's being held in a cage. Just like an animal, but not like a singing canary or a playful bunny. They're prisoners of a mad scientist who will soon start experimenting on them. The cage is the quietly scary alternative to the bellowing madness of the laboratory, and soon Mesut will appreciate the dark and the silence.
There is a bit of light during the day, but the cage is in the basement, so it's mostly dark. Dark to sharpen the features, the scientist had once told Sami. But even with being in the cage for almost 2 months, Sami cannot tell Mesut what is their captor upto. There was another boy, who stayed for a week or so, a scrawny tall boy. He was taken one night, to never return. Sami's been taken to the laboratory only twice so far, each time having to endure loud noises played over and over again and hallucination-like images on a giant screen.
Mesut understands what Sami means by accepting the cage as their new home, as opposed to the lab. What he doesn't understand is how is Sami so unafraid. How can he relate his stories so casually, unperturbed by Mesut's little twitches, which cannot go unnoticed.
Sami ends his story with a grim prediction, that the cage is all they have left and that he is resigned as to his future.
“Aren't you afraid?” Mesut asks, his own fear permeating his voice once more.
He can barely see Sami's contour, but somehow he feels the other man's shrug. There's a bit of a withholding, it seems, but Mesut is new and he doesn't press on. He knows he will never be as careless about whatever happens to him as Sami is and for that, he is sorry.
*
Over the next few days, Mesut gets to know Sami well and the other way around as well. Sometimes they talk for hours, just to fill the void of their shared prison. Sometimes they sit in complete silence, trying to discern the other's features in the poor light coming in through a dirty little window. They take each other in, learning to communicate with gestures they barely notice.
Food comes and goes, and Mesut never sees or hears the scientist. He doesn't fear him and his experimenting any less though, the man's absence being as terrifying as would his presence be, if not more. If he's being honest, it's the wait that's killing him. He wants to know why was he kidnapped, why is he being kept in a cage, for what purposes are his body and mind needed.
Sami doesn't know, even if Sami knows a lot of things. And after a while, Mesut gives up on finding out what may his fate be. When the time will come, he will know. For the moment, just being with Sami and sharing the cage is enough.
*
As time goes by, 10 days, then 2 full weeks, Mesut and Sami become closer. They are physically closer to one another, sometimes touching each other, a simple hand placed on a leg or shoulder or arm signalling more than words could.
And there comes the moment when Mesut understands that the only way to stop being scared is to dive head first into another, stronger emotion. He now understands why Sami's wasn't straightforward from the start.
For how can anyone tell a complete stranger that the only way to stop being afraid is to fall in love?
*
It has been a full month for Mesut in the darkness of the cage. He has touched the bars and went around it, he has gained full knowledge of the space enclosing him. The cage brought him a deeper feeling, forcing him somehow to find meaning in every phrase and gesture. The cage set him free, allowing him to reach out and find love.
And he knows Sami reciprocates, he's felt it all along, how the older man took care of him and guided him gently on the path to his discovery.
He can see Sami now, even in the darkest dark of the night. He can always see Sami and he knows Sami can always see him. They look at each other and it's all good. The fear is gone, buried deep, replaced by a burning feeling, urging them both to come closer and closer and closer...
*
The cage door opens wide and the scientist looks at the bodies asleep on the floor, their hands twinned even in their medicated slumber. So far, the experiment has been successful, and so, it is time for the new boy to go.