Dangerous Liaisons - CHAPTER 9 / ? *How to win a girl in 10 tries* Part One
Author: kitty69lover
Rating: R
Category: Drama
Characters: Various current and former Real Madrid and Barcelona football players. mainly Xavi tho; do check out tags for each chapter.
Length: long story
Summary: she was a Madridista, he was a Cule. They struggled at first, only for their love to bloom. But when the secrets of her past resurface, will their passion save their relationship?
Disclaimer: all in my head, just my imagination. the photos i used for various characters and items are copyright of their authors. this fic contains product placement.
Authors Notes: inspired by Supertramp's Logical Song.
9. How to win a girl in 10 tries
- Part One -
~Xavi~
I had surmounted the first obstacle, that of deciding whether I should pursue with the conquest of Celia or not, but the ways I should proceed remained as unclear as before.
So, because I was surrounded by men that seemingly had great relations with their wives or girlfriends, I decided it was only wise to ask them for advice. It turned out being like opening Pandora’s box, because it seemed that everyone had ideas to share, but none of them seemed like they’d work.
“Guys, as you well know, Xavi’s trying to woo a girl, and as we all know, he has no clue what he is supposed to do. So, please share your wisdom, so we can help our beloved teammate!” Pedro announced.
I was close to heaving, even though it had been my idea to ask them for help, because it just seemed I had no experience with women, and I needed help like a spotty teenager would.
“I think you should buy her something nice, like a charm bracelet. Women love trinkets like that and if it’s not expensive, it’s not an overwhelming gift.” Thierry advised.
“Indeed, women love receiving things. Just make sure it’s something tasteful.” Yaya confirmed.
“Or, you could buy her flowers, this trick never fails.” Carles mentioned.
“Yeah, flowers are always lovely, women love receiving flowers!” Gerard agreed. “However, this is an unusual case, since you told us she seems a troubled individual. I say you should make her laugh. If she sees how much fun she could have with you…”
“Gerard, I don’t quite have your sense of humour….” I ventured.
“It’s OK, I’m going to write down some jokes for you.” he chuckled.
“Come on guys, let’s be serious here. Xavi is not the most hilarious guy, so him telling her jokes is out of character. I think you should surprise her. Like, go see her while she’s at work, she’ll be pleasantly impressed, I can guarantee!” Lionel commented.
“You want me to go see her when she’s in uniform? When she’s not presentable?”
“I thought you said she’s beautiful…”
“She is, but no-one wants to be seen by a man that’s interested in them when they’re dusty…or mopping…”
“She won’t care much when you just pull her in your arms and start kissing her, especially if she’s a little dirty!!” Zlatan butted in, making everyone laugh.
I knew I was turning red and I was really annoyed with their bullshit advice.
“Hey, come on man, I need something that can actually work. I’m don’t think forcing myself on her is really an option!!” I yelled, stirring more laughter.
Finally, when it died down, Andres spoke up.
“Write her a poem, show her your romantic and tender side.”
The laughter explosion deafened me, almost. If I had never imagined I would want to strangle my best friend before, I was surely making up for the lost time.
“Xavi, we’re just messing with you, of course you have a romantic side. I’m sure you’d do great in writing her a poem.” Seydou managed to utter, still chuckling.
“Roses are red/Violets are blue/My heart is blaugrana/And I want to make it wit you.” Gerard improvised on the spot.
“Thanks mate, I’m sure that'd win her over.” I rolled my eyes at him, barely concealing my embarrassment.
“You’re a shy guy, Xavi, so if you do something wild, I think she’ll be impressed.” Dani rose up and said.
“Of course!” Maxwell agreed. “Chicks totally dig bad boys. You can be one, just for one day.”
“You can borrow my biker jacket and the motorcycle.” Victor offered.
“Oh lord.” I buried my head in my hands. They weren’t helpful at all.
“Or, just tell her how much you need her, that you think she’s the woman of your life, that sort of thing.” Vic continued.
“Yeah, women love to feel needed, rather than just wanted.” Thierry agreed.
“If you propose her a really fun, crazy date, I don’t know, like flying over somewhere for some fun-filled adventure, she will agree!”
“Be unconventional. Take her on a ride to Paris, that’s a good plan, Bojan.” Sergi commented.
“Unconventional is good, but maybe going to Paris, or whatever is too much for a first date. Just give her your t-shirt, but personalized, you know. With her name…” Dmytro suggested.
“Wow, that’s actually a great idea! I’ll get Helen a shirt with ‘Zlatan’s bitch’ on the back. She’ll love it!”
Zlatan and Dmytro high fived each other. And everyone else roared with laughter. I was beginning to want to request a move to another club. Could they not be serious about something one goddamned time?
“Xavi, I have the perfect idea. A Mariachi band.” Rafa proposed.
“Are you sane?” I peeled my eyes at him, while everyone started laughing like maniacs.
“No, wait, this could really work. Eric intervened. “It acts as a surprise, a song is a better thing to give than flowers or a trinket, it’s romantic and heartfelt and it could also make her laugh!” he winked at me after his remarkable expose.
And there it was, everyone was almost literally rolling on the floor laughing, when Pep walked in, probably startled by the noise.
“What’s going on?” he enquired.
Like schoolboys caught by the headmaster, everyone quieted down, although I could see Pique struggling to not laugh, turning red from keeping the air in.
“The guys are giving Xavi love advice.” Jose Manuel explained.
Yeah, the last thing I needed was Mister knowing about this. To my surprise, Pep didn’t mock.
“Xavi, women are all different, but I can tell you one thing I’ve learned to know they appreciate: a man talking from the heart. It’s the only thing that should always work, if she’s a sensitive kind. Now everyone, get going already, we’re stalling the cleaning staff.”
And with that, we all had to finish getting dressed in record time and leave the premises, and I remained as confused as before regarding what might actually work in securing a date with Celia.
***
The Flowers
I thought hard about what I was supposed to do next. And I decided that, as silly as everything the guys had mentioned sounded, it was all I had. They all knew better than me, and I had the feeling some of the suggestions weren’t made in mockery.
The captain’s advice seemed the simplest and safest. So, the next day, as soon as training was over, I went to the nearest florist and bought a beautiful bouquet of roses. I had no idea what colour should they be and the guy behind the counter advised me to avoid red and yellow ones. I ended up getting them orange.
I waited for her to finish work and to emerge out the staff door.
“Hey Celia. I just wanted to apologize for being so pushy and inconsiderate the other day. These are for you.” and I handed a stupefied Celia the roses.
She had grown pale upon seeing me and she looked completely through the roses, even if they were right in her face.
“Thank you, I guess.” She finally said, taking the bouquet I had been handing her for the past 2 minutes.
“So…do you like roses? What about the colour?” I ventured, aware that she was far from being impressed.
“They’re nice.” She said, looking at her feet, avoiding my gaze like it was poisonous.
With the way she was holding the bouquet, it was like it hung from her hand, like it was a dangerous item. This was definitely not working. But I had to try, anyway.
“I was wondering if you might want to talk about why you ran…”
But there she was, running away, turning her head only to shout ‘sorry, I can’t’, so that was pretty much a no. I stood there, dumbfounded. Maybe she was a professional runner, and she was using this as exercise.
Who was I kidding. I had failed. Maybe the classic approach was not the best, maybe the roses distracted her attention from me and she had the time to decide what to do. Maybe I needed to spice it up a bit.
A night in Ibiza
The next day was a Friday and since the game was Sunday, we got the Saturday off. I was not the kind of guy to easily think of crazy ideas, but I felt Bojan, as young as he was, may have had a point. A good fun date proposal might have more chances of success than talking over some seemingly taboo issues.
So, I was ready for something a little extreme. It had to work, but on the other hand, it could very well not. I was prepared for either situation.
Again, I waited for her until she finished work and came outside.
“Celia, we meet again.” I greeted her
“Xavi.” She stopped, but she was obviously eager to leave as soon as possible, as her eyes locked on her own feet.
“Let’s take the boat to Ibiza. I heard there’s a boat party on the way there, just perfect to get ourselves in the mood for the dozens of clubs awaiting.” I spoke as fast as I could, in case she might attempt to break Usain Bolt’s record again.
“What?” she finally looked at me, her eyes growing wide with surprise.
“I bet you didn’t know I’m a party animal….once a year.” I winked at her, not stretching it too much.
“I didn’t.” she giggled.
This sort of reaction was giving me hope, she seemed to be in a good mood and to have taken a liking to my offer…maybe she was indeed a party girl, and I have hit the spot!
“So, what do you say?” I smiled.
She took a deep breath and looked troubled again, like when I first asked her to join me for coffee.
“No. My answer is no. I don’t like clubs.” She added, explaining her reply.
“What do you like then, we can go anywhere!” I pleaded, desperately.
“I don’t know. Look, I have to run, I have the subway to catch!” and she departed rapidly.
Well, at least she wasn’t literally running away from me. And she had not flat out refused me either, just the clubbing offer. I still wanted to kick myself for choosing something so different from what I was like, because I was certainly not a club music and atmosphere lover.
Yup, lying would never get me too far.
In humour lies power
I had to admit I wasn't very happy with how this was working, I knew it was going to be hard, but on the other hand, I thought she'd notice my effort and give in, just because I was actually willing to give it a shot. My morose state showed on Monday, and the guys didn't fail to notice it.
“Xavi, still having woman problems?” Titi enquired.
“Haha, it sounds like he's having his period. You aren't, are you?” Gerard commented, stirring laughter.
One line, that all it took to get them all laughing. I had to admit it was a little envious of his sense of humour at times. I realised that Celia would already be mine if I could make her laugh like Gerard could. So after training was over, I asked him to join me for a private conversation.
Then, when it was time to try catch Celia, I was feeling a lot more confident. I waited outside for her, as usual.
“Hey Celia, what say you and me get silly together?” I spelled out as soon as I saw her.
“What?” she stopped to look at me, her eyes wide with surprise and bewilderment, probably thinking that I have lost my mind, or something.
“Think about it, we could dance the perfect tango, we're the same height....and you know what they say about tango...” I almost winked.
No, I actually did wink, just very clumsily. She looked at me with interest, a smile tugging at her lips.
“What do they say about tango?” she humoured me.
“It's the first step...no, I mean, it's a step...no, wait, wait...” yeah, as expected, I had forgotten the punchline.
She started laughing, but obviously at me. I was growing red with embarrassment and at the same time, I racked my brain for the elusive phrase.
“I'd love to hear what's tango supposed to be like, but I have the subway to catch!” and she departed, still laughing.
“Celia, wait, tango is a step away from getting naughty......” but I knew I had blown it.
A grown man, making a fool of himself like that, and all because I had listened to my skirt-chaser and much younger teammate, for fuck's sake. I was ridiculous, and it was obviously not going to work. If the spark wasn't there, I could not just fabricate it.
Or maybe the joke Gerard told me was awful and no man in his right mind would've used it. I was very tempted to give Gerard a piece of my mind. Maybe a kick in the rear too.
On the other hand, winning a date with Celia by being phoney would eventually work against me, so maybe making her laugh artificially wasn't it.
But something had to work, I told myself as I crossed the jokes idea off the list of tips I had made.
Rating: R
Category: Drama
Characters: Various current and former Real Madrid and Barcelona football players. mainly Xavi tho; do check out tags for each chapter.
Length: long story
Summary: she was a Madridista, he was a Cule. They struggled at first, only for their love to bloom. But when the secrets of her past resurface, will their passion save their relationship?
Disclaimer: all in my head, just my imagination. the photos i used for various characters and items are copyright of their authors. this fic contains product placement.
Authors Notes: inspired by Supertramp's Logical Song.
9. How to win a girl in 10 tries
- Part One -
~Xavi~
I had surmounted the first obstacle, that of deciding whether I should pursue with the conquest of Celia or not, but the ways I should proceed remained as unclear as before.
So, because I was surrounded by men that seemingly had great relations with their wives or girlfriends, I decided it was only wise to ask them for advice. It turned out being like opening Pandora’s box, because it seemed that everyone had ideas to share, but none of them seemed like they’d work.
“Guys, as you well know, Xavi’s trying to woo a girl, and as we all know, he has no clue what he is supposed to do. So, please share your wisdom, so we can help our beloved teammate!” Pedro announced.
I was close to heaving, even though it had been my idea to ask them for help, because it just seemed I had no experience with women, and I needed help like a spotty teenager would.
“I think you should buy her something nice, like a charm bracelet. Women love trinkets like that and if it’s not expensive, it’s not an overwhelming gift.” Thierry advised.
“Indeed, women love receiving things. Just make sure it’s something tasteful.” Yaya confirmed.
“Or, you could buy her flowers, this trick never fails.” Carles mentioned.
“Yeah, flowers are always lovely, women love receiving flowers!” Gerard agreed. “However, this is an unusual case, since you told us she seems a troubled individual. I say you should make her laugh. If she sees how much fun she could have with you…”
“Gerard, I don’t quite have your sense of humour….” I ventured.
“It’s OK, I’m going to write down some jokes for you.” he chuckled.
“Come on guys, let’s be serious here. Xavi is not the most hilarious guy, so him telling her jokes is out of character. I think you should surprise her. Like, go see her while she’s at work, she’ll be pleasantly impressed, I can guarantee!” Lionel commented.
“You want me to go see her when she’s in uniform? When she’s not presentable?”
“I thought you said she’s beautiful…”
“She is, but no-one wants to be seen by a man that’s interested in them when they’re dusty…or mopping…”
“She won’t care much when you just pull her in your arms and start kissing her, especially if she’s a little dirty!!” Zlatan butted in, making everyone laugh.
I knew I was turning red and I was really annoyed with their bullshit advice.
“Hey, come on man, I need something that can actually work. I’m don’t think forcing myself on her is really an option!!” I yelled, stirring more laughter.
Finally, when it died down, Andres spoke up.
“Write her a poem, show her your romantic and tender side.”
The laughter explosion deafened me, almost. If I had never imagined I would want to strangle my best friend before, I was surely making up for the lost time.
“Xavi, we’re just messing with you, of course you have a romantic side. I’m sure you’d do great in writing her a poem.” Seydou managed to utter, still chuckling.
“Roses are red/Violets are blue/My heart is blaugrana/And I want to make it wit you.” Gerard improvised on the spot.
“Thanks mate, I’m sure that'd win her over.” I rolled my eyes at him, barely concealing my embarrassment.
“You’re a shy guy, Xavi, so if you do something wild, I think she’ll be impressed.” Dani rose up and said.
“Of course!” Maxwell agreed. “Chicks totally dig bad boys. You can be one, just for one day.”
“You can borrow my biker jacket and the motorcycle.” Victor offered.
“Oh lord.” I buried my head in my hands. They weren’t helpful at all.
“Or, just tell her how much you need her, that you think she’s the woman of your life, that sort of thing.” Vic continued.
“Yeah, women love to feel needed, rather than just wanted.” Thierry agreed.
“If you propose her a really fun, crazy date, I don’t know, like flying over somewhere for some fun-filled adventure, she will agree!”
“Be unconventional. Take her on a ride to Paris, that’s a good plan, Bojan.” Sergi commented.
“Unconventional is good, but maybe going to Paris, or whatever is too much for a first date. Just give her your t-shirt, but personalized, you know. With her name…” Dmytro suggested.
“Wow, that’s actually a great idea! I’ll get Helen a shirt with ‘Zlatan’s bitch’ on the back. She’ll love it!”
Zlatan and Dmytro high fived each other. And everyone else roared with laughter. I was beginning to want to request a move to another club. Could they not be serious about something one goddamned time?
“Xavi, I have the perfect idea. A Mariachi band.” Rafa proposed.
“Are you sane?” I peeled my eyes at him, while everyone started laughing like maniacs.
“No, wait, this could really work. Eric intervened. “It acts as a surprise, a song is a better thing to give than flowers or a trinket, it’s romantic and heartfelt and it could also make her laugh!” he winked at me after his remarkable expose.
And there it was, everyone was almost literally rolling on the floor laughing, when Pep walked in, probably startled by the noise.
“What’s going on?” he enquired.
Like schoolboys caught by the headmaster, everyone quieted down, although I could see Pique struggling to not laugh, turning red from keeping the air in.
“The guys are giving Xavi love advice.” Jose Manuel explained.
Yeah, the last thing I needed was Mister knowing about this. To my surprise, Pep didn’t mock.
“Xavi, women are all different, but I can tell you one thing I’ve learned to know they appreciate: a man talking from the heart. It’s the only thing that should always work, if she’s a sensitive kind. Now everyone, get going already, we’re stalling the cleaning staff.”
And with that, we all had to finish getting dressed in record time and leave the premises, and I remained as confused as before regarding what might actually work in securing a date with Celia.
***
The Flowers
I thought hard about what I was supposed to do next. And I decided that, as silly as everything the guys had mentioned sounded, it was all I had. They all knew better than me, and I had the feeling some of the suggestions weren’t made in mockery.
The captain’s advice seemed the simplest and safest. So, the next day, as soon as training was over, I went to the nearest florist and bought a beautiful bouquet of roses. I had no idea what colour should they be and the guy behind the counter advised me to avoid red and yellow ones. I ended up getting them orange.
I waited for her to finish work and to emerge out the staff door.
“Hey Celia. I just wanted to apologize for being so pushy and inconsiderate the other day. These are for you.” and I handed a stupefied Celia the roses.
She had grown pale upon seeing me and she looked completely through the roses, even if they were right in her face.
“Thank you, I guess.” She finally said, taking the bouquet I had been handing her for the past 2 minutes.
“So…do you like roses? What about the colour?” I ventured, aware that she was far from being impressed.
“They’re nice.” She said, looking at her feet, avoiding my gaze like it was poisonous.
With the way she was holding the bouquet, it was like it hung from her hand, like it was a dangerous item. This was definitely not working. But I had to try, anyway.
“I was wondering if you might want to talk about why you ran…”
But there she was, running away, turning her head only to shout ‘sorry, I can’t’, so that was pretty much a no. I stood there, dumbfounded. Maybe she was a professional runner, and she was using this as exercise.
Who was I kidding. I had failed. Maybe the classic approach was not the best, maybe the roses distracted her attention from me and she had the time to decide what to do. Maybe I needed to spice it up a bit.
A night in Ibiza
The next day was a Friday and since the game was Sunday, we got the Saturday off. I was not the kind of guy to easily think of crazy ideas, but I felt Bojan, as young as he was, may have had a point. A good fun date proposal might have more chances of success than talking over some seemingly taboo issues.
So, I was ready for something a little extreme. It had to work, but on the other hand, it could very well not. I was prepared for either situation.
Again, I waited for her until she finished work and came outside.
“Celia, we meet again.” I greeted her
“Xavi.” She stopped, but she was obviously eager to leave as soon as possible, as her eyes locked on her own feet.
“Let’s take the boat to Ibiza. I heard there’s a boat party on the way there, just perfect to get ourselves in the mood for the dozens of clubs awaiting.” I spoke as fast as I could, in case she might attempt to break Usain Bolt’s record again.
“What?” she finally looked at me, her eyes growing wide with surprise.
“I bet you didn’t know I’m a party animal….once a year.” I winked at her, not stretching it too much.
“I didn’t.” she giggled.
This sort of reaction was giving me hope, she seemed to be in a good mood and to have taken a liking to my offer…maybe she was indeed a party girl, and I have hit the spot!
“So, what do you say?” I smiled.
She took a deep breath and looked troubled again, like when I first asked her to join me for coffee.
“No. My answer is no. I don’t like clubs.” She added, explaining her reply.
“What do you like then, we can go anywhere!” I pleaded, desperately.
“I don’t know. Look, I have to run, I have the subway to catch!” and she departed rapidly.
Well, at least she wasn’t literally running away from me. And she had not flat out refused me either, just the clubbing offer. I still wanted to kick myself for choosing something so different from what I was like, because I was certainly not a club music and atmosphere lover.
Yup, lying would never get me too far.
In humour lies power
I had to admit I wasn't very happy with how this was working, I knew it was going to be hard, but on the other hand, I thought she'd notice my effort and give in, just because I was actually willing to give it a shot. My morose state showed on Monday, and the guys didn't fail to notice it.
“Xavi, still having woman problems?” Titi enquired.
“Haha, it sounds like he's having his period. You aren't, are you?” Gerard commented, stirring laughter.
One line, that all it took to get them all laughing. I had to admit it was a little envious of his sense of humour at times. I realised that Celia would already be mine if I could make her laugh like Gerard could. So after training was over, I asked him to join me for a private conversation.
Then, when it was time to try catch Celia, I was feeling a lot more confident. I waited outside for her, as usual.
“Hey Celia, what say you and me get silly together?” I spelled out as soon as I saw her.
“What?” she stopped to look at me, her eyes wide with surprise and bewilderment, probably thinking that I have lost my mind, or something.
“Think about it, we could dance the perfect tango, we're the same height....and you know what they say about tango...” I almost winked.
No, I actually did wink, just very clumsily. She looked at me with interest, a smile tugging at her lips.
“What do they say about tango?” she humoured me.
“It's the first step...no, I mean, it's a step...no, wait, wait...” yeah, as expected, I had forgotten the punchline.
She started laughing, but obviously at me. I was growing red with embarrassment and at the same time, I racked my brain for the elusive phrase.
“I'd love to hear what's tango supposed to be like, but I have the subway to catch!” and she departed, still laughing.
“Celia, wait, tango is a step away from getting naughty......” but I knew I had blown it.
A grown man, making a fool of himself like that, and all because I had listened to my skirt-chaser and much younger teammate, for fuck's sake. I was ridiculous, and it was obviously not going to work. If the spark wasn't there, I could not just fabricate it.
Or maybe the joke Gerard told me was awful and no man in his right mind would've used it. I was very tempted to give Gerard a piece of my mind. Maybe a kick in the rear too.
On the other hand, winning a date with Celia by being phoney would eventually work against me, so maybe making her laugh artificially wasn't it.
But something had to work, I told myself as I crossed the jokes idea off the list of tips I had made.