This Is How We Say Goodbye In Mexico - HITTER
Author: kitty69lover
Rating: PG-13.
Category: drama
Characters: Jonathan Dos Santos / Rafael Marquez
Length: hitter
Summary: Rafa is leaving, and Jonathan must do something about it
Disclaimer: initially only in my head; too much to contain it all, so it spilled on the webpage....
Authors Notes:this is the prize for calypso_63 who correctly guessed a little something. eheheh. the title is paraphrasing a similar line in Indiana Jones <3
hope you like hun :-* i wanted to write Rafa for you, but i CAN'T write het anymore :-((( so this happened instead. it's nothing too risque though, just angst.
Jonathan knew this moment would come, he had known all throughout the season that it was Rafa's last with Barcelona. That they would never really have the chance to play together for the same club. He understood very well why Rafa had to leave, to move on, because sitting on the bench was of no good for anyone, he really did.
But understanding it did not make it hurt any less. And it certainly didn't mean accepting it. Of course, he was painfully aware that he could not prevent Rafa from leaving, not when everything was already decided, but he thought the older man might think differently if he knew.
Jonathan was having another dilemma, besides having to deal with Rafael Marquez' transfer to another club, another country, heck, another continent. Should he tell his compatriot that he feels for him, that he considers him more than a mentor? Would that help Rafa decide in staying?
No. The decision was taken, and he, Jonathan, could not do anything about it. But was it fair to burden his leaving teammate, soon ex-teammate, with the secret he had been carrying deep inside for a few years?
It would do neither good. To be rejected would hurt, to be accepted, to have his feelings returned would be just cruel given the conditions.He had almost made the decision to let the man go in peace, without disturbing the eerily peaceful water that was their relationship, when he got a dinner invitation, from Rafael himself.
And everything started happening in slow motion, with a sensation of the room spinning around, throughout the whole meal. It was just the two of them, despite Jonathan's initial hope (?) that it would be an informal goodbye dinner party for a host of friends, and he could almost feel the tension in the room lingering on his skin.
He could barely eat, he took sips of his orange juice carefully, and he watched, no he stared at Rafa, enveloping the gorgeous man in his gaze, looking at him carefully, observing him, taking in the sight of him, as if it were the last one.
It sure felt that way, as Rafa was leaving the next day for New York.
The conversation was fragmented and meaningless. It was like none of them really knew what to say, so then, what was the point of having this dinner? Weren't they supposed to discuss one last thing, before Rafa left? Weren't there instructions to be noted, advice to be given, and lots and lots of recommendations?
There must be something else, Jonathan couldn't help but think. Why else would Rafa call him over, cook dinner and yet barely say anything during the evening. He almost choked on his bite at the thought.
"I bet you're wondering why I called you over." Rafa uttered most calm.
Violently coughing, Jonathan nodded turning red from the effort and the embarrassment of having been read so easily.
"I wanted you to know that now, you remain the only Mexican playing for Barcelona. And that you must represent our country with pride. I wanted you to understand that Barcelona is a very special club, but I think you already know that, you've been here longer and started young...."
It wasn't like Jonathan didn't appreciate this message, but he couldn't help but feel underwhelmed. All this trouble only to be told he must be a good Mexican? What the fuck? It didn't make sense. Rafa could've told him that sort of thing over beer, over the phone, on his way to the terminal, not over a fancy dinner.
He almost felt disappointed. Almost. He loved Rafa too much to feel entirely let down. But he wasn't paying attention anymore, drowning Rafael's motivational speech in his own tormented thoughts.
"This is important, Jonathan, it's about your career!" Rafa snapped, his voice returning Jonathan's attention to him.
The boy stared briefly.
"This is important?" He wondered, slightly ironic.
"It is. My final advice to you. I thought you saw me as your mentor, that my opinion mattered to you."
The hurt in Rafael's voice could not be real, Jonathan thought.
"So, let me get this straight. THIS, things I've heard all my life and especially since my brother left, THIS is what was so important to tell me on your last day here?" he almost rose his voice, a frustrating anger almost bursting.
Rafael stared, as Jonathan got up from his seat and came by his chair, looking down at him with an unreadable expression in his dark soft eyes.
"Well..."
"No. I will not let you ruin this." he said, almost tearing, reaching down and kissing Rafael straight on the mouth.
The kiss was rough, unfinished, Jonathan acting like a beginner and Rafael answering only mininally, but enough to show a world of wonder and it barely lasted a few seconds, before the older man pushed the younger away.
"What is this?" he whsipered, out of breath, licking his lips involuntarily.
"This is how we say goodbye in Mexico. You should know." Jonathan said heatedly as he strode out of the room, and then out the door so fast, that Rafael had no reaction.
And so he remained behind, almost shaking, still feeling the boy's sweet taste on his lips, his speech unfinished, his goodbye never offered.
Rating: PG-13.
Category: drama
Characters: Jonathan Dos Santos / Rafael Marquez
Length: hitter
Summary: Rafa is leaving, and Jonathan must do something about it
Disclaimer: initially only in my head; too much to contain it all, so it spilled on the webpage....
Authors Notes:this is the prize for calypso_63 who correctly guessed a little something. eheheh. the title is paraphrasing a similar line in Indiana Jones <3
hope you like hun :-* i wanted to write Rafa for you, but i CAN'T write het anymore :-((( so this happened instead. it's nothing too risque though, just angst.
Jonathan knew this moment would come, he had known all throughout the season that it was Rafa's last with Barcelona. That they would never really have the chance to play together for the same club. He understood very well why Rafa had to leave, to move on, because sitting on the bench was of no good for anyone, he really did.
But understanding it did not make it hurt any less. And it certainly didn't mean accepting it. Of course, he was painfully aware that he could not prevent Rafa from leaving, not when everything was already decided, but he thought the older man might think differently if he knew.
Jonathan was having another dilemma, besides having to deal with Rafael Marquez' transfer to another club, another country, heck, another continent. Should he tell his compatriot that he feels for him, that he considers him more than a mentor? Would that help Rafa decide in staying?
No. The decision was taken, and he, Jonathan, could not do anything about it. But was it fair to burden his leaving teammate, soon ex-teammate, with the secret he had been carrying deep inside for a few years?
It would do neither good. To be rejected would hurt, to be accepted, to have his feelings returned would be just cruel given the conditions.He had almost made the decision to let the man go in peace, without disturbing the eerily peaceful water that was their relationship, when he got a dinner invitation, from Rafael himself.
And everything started happening in slow motion, with a sensation of the room spinning around, throughout the whole meal. It was just the two of them, despite Jonathan's initial hope (?) that it would be an informal goodbye dinner party for a host of friends, and he could almost feel the tension in the room lingering on his skin.
He could barely eat, he took sips of his orange juice carefully, and he watched, no he stared at Rafa, enveloping the gorgeous man in his gaze, looking at him carefully, observing him, taking in the sight of him, as if it were the last one.
It sure felt that way, as Rafa was leaving the next day for New York.
The conversation was fragmented and meaningless. It was like none of them really knew what to say, so then, what was the point of having this dinner? Weren't they supposed to discuss one last thing, before Rafa left? Weren't there instructions to be noted, advice to be given, and lots and lots of recommendations?
There must be something else, Jonathan couldn't help but think. Why else would Rafa call him over, cook dinner and yet barely say anything during the evening. He almost choked on his bite at the thought.
"I bet you're wondering why I called you over." Rafa uttered most calm.
Violently coughing, Jonathan nodded turning red from the effort and the embarrassment of having been read so easily.
"I wanted you to know that now, you remain the only Mexican playing for Barcelona. And that you must represent our country with pride. I wanted you to understand that Barcelona is a very special club, but I think you already know that, you've been here longer and started young...."
It wasn't like Jonathan didn't appreciate this message, but he couldn't help but feel underwhelmed. All this trouble only to be told he must be a good Mexican? What the fuck? It didn't make sense. Rafa could've told him that sort of thing over beer, over the phone, on his way to the terminal, not over a fancy dinner.
He almost felt disappointed. Almost. He loved Rafa too much to feel entirely let down. But he wasn't paying attention anymore, drowning Rafael's motivational speech in his own tormented thoughts.
"This is important, Jonathan, it's about your career!" Rafa snapped, his voice returning Jonathan's attention to him.
The boy stared briefly.
"This is important?" He wondered, slightly ironic.
"It is. My final advice to you. I thought you saw me as your mentor, that my opinion mattered to you."
The hurt in Rafael's voice could not be real, Jonathan thought.
"So, let me get this straight. THIS, things I've heard all my life and especially since my brother left, THIS is what was so important to tell me on your last day here?" he almost rose his voice, a frustrating anger almost bursting.
Rafael stared, as Jonathan got up from his seat and came by his chair, looking down at him with an unreadable expression in his dark soft eyes.
"Well..."
"No. I will not let you ruin this." he said, almost tearing, reaching down and kissing Rafael straight on the mouth.
The kiss was rough, unfinished, Jonathan acting like a beginner and Rafael answering only mininally, but enough to show a world of wonder and it barely lasted a few seconds, before the older man pushed the younger away.
"What is this?" he whsipered, out of breath, licking his lips involuntarily.
"This is how we say goodbye in Mexico. You should know." Jonathan said heatedly as he strode out of the room, and then out the door so fast, that Rafael had no reaction.
And so he remained behind, almost shaking, still feeling the boy's sweet taste on his lips, his speech unfinished, his goodbye never offered.