Learning To Breathe
Meredith laid back on the bench in the locker room. She stared up at the ceiling.
“What’s with you?” Alex’s voice asked as he slammed his locker shut. Meredith didn’t say anything. “Meredith?” He waved a hand over her, snapping her out of her trance.
“Fine. I’m fine.” she said as she kept staring at ceiling.
Alex looked up to see what she was looking at but he found nothing was there. He looked back down at her. “Ooo-kay,” he said, then headed toward the door.
Cristina came through the door just as he was leaving and saw Meredith laying on the bench. “What’s with her?” she asked.
Alex shrugged. “Don’t know. And slowly starting to not care,” he said, and left Cristina alone in the doorway.
Cristina tilted her head to the side slightly “Mer?” she called out as she took a few steps into the locker room letting the door swing shut behind her. “Meredith? Are you okay?”
“Yes,” Meredith answered.
“You sure? Because I think you are burning a hole in the ceiling,” Cristina asked as she came up next to her.
“I had a dream last night,” Meredith said.
Cristina narrowed her eyes. “Like a ’I’m going to die today’ dream or a ‘I have a dream‘ dream?” she asked.
“I have no idea. A normal dream, I guess,” she said, as she kept staring at the ceiling.
“What happened in it?” Cristina asked, as she opened her locker and grabbed her scrubs.
“It was years from now and we all were really old and all living in some old folks' home and everyone had someone. George had Callie...and you had Burke...and Alex had Jane Doe or Ava or Rebecca or whatever her name is...and Izzie had Denny because for some reason in this world Denny came back or never died or something. And we all were in this sitting room and everyone was talking to their significant other and I was sitting off to the side in some dark corner just watching all of you guys laugh and have a good time,” she explained. “And for some reason when I woke up, I thought, what if this really happens? What if I get old and have no one and all I do is knit all day while all of you guys are all happy and with someone?”
Cristina took off her shirt and threw it in her locker. “First off. Me and Burke? Never going to happen. Second, Denny is not going to be resurrected anytime soon. And third, it was a dream. Dreams are just...dreams...not real.” She pulled her scrub top over her head. “You are not going to end up alone. You, me, and Izzie will grow old together as the three old spinsters. We will each get ten cats and live in your mother's house forever. Burke, Alex, George, Callie, Rebecca and the ghost of Denny can go and live in the old folks' home without us.”
Meredith laughed slightly. “Sounds like a plan.”
Izzie was running late. Her alarm had decided to stop working today and she had no time to take a shower or eat. She was now racing through the hospital trying to get to the locker room as fast as possible.
“Out of my way!” she called out as she headed toward the stairs. She pushed her way through the crowd of people and ran up the stairs as fast as possible.
“Late-late-late!” she kept repeating as she opened the locker room door. She franticly opened her locker and got out of her clothes as fast as possible. It was only when she was putting on her scrub pants that she noticed a note that had dropped to the floor with her name on it.
She picked it up and looked at the hand writing on the front. She didn’t have to open it up to know who it was from.
She looked at the note for another moment then crumpled it in her hand. She was moving forward. Getting over whatever it was that she was feeling before. And she didn’t want to go back. And she knew if she read the note, it would be one giant step backward. She tossed it toward the trash can in the corner, then took a deep breath and started getting dressed again.
George had to get a little fresh air before rounds started. He stepped outside, but regretted it the second he heard his name being called out.
“George!” Callie’s voice came from the parking lot. She was waving her hand in the air, in case George was deaf and didn’t hear her yell out his name.
George didn’t know what to do. He didn’t want to have to talk to her right now, but didn’t want her to know that, so he just stood there and waved back a little. And as she got closer, it felt as if all the air was being sucked out of the earth. So much for fresh air.
“Hey.” Callie greeted him with a kiss on the cheek and grabbing his arm leading him back into the hospital. “How was work last night?” she asked. Callie had thought over what she was going to do today all last night, and she had come to the conclusion that if something was really wrong with their marriage, George would come right out and say it. That’s just how George is.
“It was okay. I mean, it was being on call. It’s nothing new to me,” he said, taking his last few breaths of outside air as they entered Seattle Grace.
“I know, but you were doing it with new people, so I thought maybe it was a little different. I mean...did you get more work done? You usually are so distracted with…” Callie trailed off, afraid to even say her husband's best friends name, because if she did it could start a fight, and she really wasn’t in the mood for that today.
Although Callie didn’t have to say her name, George knew who she was going to say. Izzie. For the past year, if Izzie and George were on-call together, there was little chance of getting a lot done. They usually hung out in a on-call room and played cards and talked.
“Yeah...I got a lot done.” He just ignored the Izzie-related comment, and pretended like she didn’t even say anything. “How was your night?” he asked.
“It was pretty boring. I missed having you there,” Callie said, smiling. George smiled back slightly. “But you’ll be home tonight, so that’s good,” she said as they came up to the elevator doors.
“Yeah. That’s good...” George said blankly, realizing that for the first time he didn’t want work to end, because if it did then he would be stuck in a hotel room with Callie. And that thought bothered him way more then it should.