(no subject)
So apparently it's time for my annual lj post.
Get ready.
Feeling super stagnant because of my late ass college desicions. In the end im pretty sure I made the right one though. I just want to learn, and be successful. Don't thousands of colleges pray for kids like me? Ones who want to do something with their life? Shwatever. I'm pretty irritated that I havent kept this thing going. I guess I don't have time. Godspell goes up next week and I am udderly estatic for it to be over. The kids are great, but I cant handle it anymore. Melinda Galucci/Pepper has basically ruined the whole experience for me and taught me so so much at the same time. I have learned that there is almost always a catch. She has taught me organization and provided me with several communication blocks that I have overcome. She has taught me how to get right back on my feet after being knocked down. And probably most importantly she has taught me how to hold my tongue. Godspell will be about 2/3 of what I want it to be because of her overlapping views. Godspell will not be a completely student run/based production. FINE. People will thank her for the hard work I have put in, People will thank her for my creative perks throughout the show. And it is what it is. The people who know my triumphs and failure through this process will know, and they are who matter. And my cast. who has been ever so commited and wonderful. Without them I would have nothing. My senior year is finally coming to a close, and it's as if I thought it would never end. Lets recap. FRESHMAN YEAR.. One of the best and worst years of my life, I learned so much in such a short amount of time. I miss it. I was extremely naive and had no Idea who I really was. My parents divorced and my mom let me go. I did whatever I wanted..She was always unhappy. SOPHMORE YEAR I started learning about myself..I wasn't friends with who I had been since day one anymore..Music became super important in my life this year. During the middle of the year I started living with my moms best friend until our house was ready to move into.. thats right. Moving. I will never forget that day when my mom asked to move out of the area.. What? But I had already planned out my small town life. I wasn't expecting it. Change was good. But at that time it didnt feel that way. I started MTHS on April 20somethingth 2004 and hated every second of It. I met Annie Sullivan, my somewhat savior in a sense and Nick Frizino, the boy who has consumed the past almost 2 years of my life. It was a fun summer and I decided to start going to a Performing Arts School. I loved it. Hated the people, but loved it. And by now I have learned to love them all. Anyways, JUNIOR YEAR I started losing basically every one of my friends. People in Keyport were fed up with me being inconsistant. I never could get a ride up there..I barely knew anyone from Manchester besides Annie.. we still hung out a lot. Nick asked me to be his girlfriend, and with that I started having no friends at all. By the end of the school year I didn't know what to do..I really learned that you are absolutely alone in this world. That summer Nick became my best friend. There was a lot of fights, but we grew together, and I really learned how much I could love someone. But at the same time I became depressed. Not to the point where I thought about suicide or anything, but I didn't have any motivation at all. My room was constantly dirty. All I would do is draw. I wouldnt eat, or I would eat so much. I was constantly crying. Annie had her liscense so she was always doing something. She didn't have time for me anymore, who could blame her?..SENIOR YEAR was coming and so was my birthday/liscense. I decided the moment I get my liscense to make myself as busy as possible. And I have achieved just that. Im almost always busy...I started waitressing. And now this summer..Well thats the scary part. I'm not sure what is next. I hope to go to college in the Fall, but that will all be determined next thursday. Im ready for the change no matter how scared I am, and no matter who or what I need to leave behind.
Get ready.
Feeling super stagnant because of my late ass college desicions. In the end im pretty sure I made the right one though. I just want to learn, and be successful. Don't thousands of colleges pray for kids like me? Ones who want to do something with their life? Shwatever. I'm pretty irritated that I havent kept this thing going. I guess I don't have time. Godspell goes up next week and I am udderly estatic for it to be over. The kids are great, but I cant handle it anymore. Melinda Galucci/Pepper has basically ruined the whole experience for me and taught me so so much at the same time. I have learned that there is almost always a catch. She has taught me organization and provided me with several communication blocks that I have overcome. She has taught me how to get right back on my feet after being knocked down. And probably most importantly she has taught me how to hold my tongue. Godspell will be about 2/3 of what I want it to be because of her overlapping views. Godspell will not be a completely student run/based production. FINE. People will thank her for the hard work I have put in, People will thank her for my creative perks throughout the show. And it is what it is. The people who know my triumphs and failure through this process will know, and they are who matter. And my cast. who has been ever so commited and wonderful. Without them I would have nothing. My senior year is finally coming to a close, and it's as if I thought it would never end. Lets recap. FRESHMAN YEAR.. One of the best and worst years of my life, I learned so much in such a short amount of time. I miss it. I was extremely naive and had no Idea who I really was. My parents divorced and my mom let me go. I did whatever I wanted..She was always unhappy. SOPHMORE YEAR I started learning about myself..I wasn't friends with who I had been since day one anymore..Music became super important in my life this year. During the middle of the year I started living with my moms best friend until our house was ready to move into.. thats right. Moving. I will never forget that day when my mom asked to move out of the area.. What? But I had already planned out my small town life. I wasn't expecting it. Change was good. But at that time it didnt feel that way. I started MTHS on April 20somethingth 2004 and hated every second of It. I met Annie Sullivan, my somewhat savior in a sense and Nick Frizino, the boy who has consumed the past almost 2 years of my life. It was a fun summer and I decided to start going to a Performing Arts School. I loved it. Hated the people, but loved it. And by now I have learned to love them all. Anyways, JUNIOR YEAR I started losing basically every one of my friends. People in Keyport were fed up with me being inconsistant. I never could get a ride up there..I barely knew anyone from Manchester besides Annie.. we still hung out a lot. Nick asked me to be his girlfriend, and with that I started having no friends at all. By the end of the school year I didn't know what to do..I really learned that you are absolutely alone in this world. That summer Nick became my best friend. There was a lot of fights, but we grew together, and I really learned how much I could love someone. But at the same time I became depressed. Not to the point where I thought about suicide or anything, but I didn't have any motivation at all. My room was constantly dirty. All I would do is draw. I wouldnt eat, or I would eat so much. I was constantly crying. Annie had her liscense so she was always doing something. She didn't have time for me anymore, who could blame her?..SENIOR YEAR was coming and so was my birthday/liscense. I decided the moment I get my liscense to make myself as busy as possible. And I have achieved just that. Im almost always busy...I started waitressing. And now this summer..Well thats the scary part. I'm not sure what is next. I hope to go to college in the Fall, but that will all be determined next thursday. Im ready for the change no matter how scared I am, and no matter who or what I need to leave behind.