Can't sleep...

[alter_dan]

Well, talk about return to the old days, I haven't posted on livejournal in a long time, nor have I ever NOT been able to fall asleep when I'm already insanely tired. I think there's a lot of things swimming through my head right now and not a clear path to walk in order to comprehend or figure out what everything is and where it's stemming from. I do know that a great deal of it is coming from the excitement and responsibility of being an RA, that's a huge deal. The other is for seeing a lot of people who I haven't seen in a year, some more is from not being able to be with my close knit group of friends while they all laugh and play with one another through countless SSBM games, etc., I even think I'm a little apprehensive of being with my girlfriend. I'm afraid she's going to dislike me after the two months we really spent duking it out with one another through verbal aggression. I was such a douche. Not to say that she didn't have her momments but it really was me who was the main antagonist. I'm scared of my jealousy creeping in this year, that I can really admit. She's so beautiful and I'm so fucking jealous. What's wrong with me? Hell, I don't know...there's a lot of things that get me worried. But I'm also looking forward to her coming don't get me wrong. I really can't wait to be with her again. It's been a sort of nice summer, I did see a lot of my friends and for that I was greatful, I managed to work a little bit and gain some money in order to do some things before I actually START working here. That's nice, but still money is always an issue for me, and it makes me worry more and more and more. I really love Marlboro College, but I'll let everyone know, I may not end up staying here for all four years simply because of the expense of the place, but that's another story for another day...Geez, this stuff feels good to vent. Anyways. Maggie will be here..well..tommorow evening. That'll be nice. It'll be good to see her and hang out...watch some lost and go out to eat hopefully. Hanging out with the other RA's is really nice, but I find myself getting more and more attached to only one, John Berry. (No relation or likeness to Joe Berry--but kind of a strange coincidence.) I was John's "Freshman Pet" for my freshman year, but now I think of myself as his little protege. Ah well, even that's "TOO" much of an honor in his eyes, the sarcastic bastard, heh. It's really hard though...really hard. Like so many of my other friends accepting adult hood and responsibility is very....tiring...frustrating...and depressing. But I know I determine my own reality so...meh. Anyways...brief..things Pro and Con:

Pro:
Reuniting with my girlfriend.
Being an RA.
Being on Community Court.
Having lots of friends at home and on campus.
Being able to go home whenever I want to.
Getting Another Job.
Taking Greek.
Taking a Tutorial on Greek and Roman Military Strategies.
Having my Xbox and Playstation.
Season 3 of LOST.
....I'm sure many other things..

Con..
Meh...we'll just hold of on this actually.