::deep breath:: OK, here we go . . .
I wouldn't post if I didn't want your honest critique, both what is done right and what I can improve upon.
I am interested in what you feel, how you respond, if you end a section with a sense of confusion or a desire to read more.
You help me make my writing stronger, more vital, and I appreciate the time you are giving me-- a lot.
OK, here we go . . . .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The horses rode at a steady canter, GwenAnna rhythm in the saddle almost hypnotic upon her tired thoughts. She moved to glance back over her shoulder, when one of her guards slapped Redmere’s flanks, causing her to focus in the now with all her strength.
Redmere leapt to the challenge, a study of female might taking charge. GwenAnna’s horse picked her way to the front of their current herd, neighed, and was off. Gwenanna was glad for the guard’s poor choice. At the front of the column, with shuddering resolve, she and Redmere slowly began turning the boys until a quarter way through the lazy loop her Captain realized the plan.
“Lady! We Can Not!”
“Wrong, Robbie. You maybe cannot, but that order did not cover me,” GwenAnna bit out harshly.
Robbie’s startled eyes jumped to Vivian’s heartily laughter. Taking a page from his own book, she slapped his bay on the hindquarters as she speed past to reach her charge. “Loopholes, Robbie, she found her loophole. Be Merry!” And if that were not enough to send prayers rising to heaven, her next words were.
Tossed over her shoulder, Vivian added cheerfully, “I do believe she means to fight!”
Robbie brought his horse under control with little thought except, “Holy Mother of God, His Lordship is going to flay me alive this time for sure.”
His men had slowed with him, gaining his ire. They waited his decision to follow or his order to take their Lady by force if need be, back to her Father’s castle.
Muttering a litany to his favored saints and angels, he dragged in a breath and spit out his decision.
“Well what you waiting for, a command performance? We follow our Lady.”
“His Lordship is going to . . .”
“. . .is going to flay me,” Robbie shouted back as he gained speed and heart, “and I rather think this time it be no empty threat. So decide and follow, or run and bring help. Either choice lands you in one strong camp of the other.”
The men looked at each other with smiles, chuckling as they leaned into their direction. Exuberance burst upon them, as if old Viking blood had pushed through the cultivated stuff they’d been trying to fill their hearts with.
A young voice called, breaking in the middle of his cry with the bane of male adolescence. “Avec the Gwens! Avec GwenAnna!”
The soldiers came straight and hard at her back, pounding behind her and crying into the wind, “Avec GwenAnna!”
Her heart overflowed. Her eyes brimmed wetly, and she glanced to her left where the warrior Vivian now rode.
Vivian gave her a nod of friendship, of comrade, of acknowledged achievement. She pulled closer to GwenAnna to speak as quietly as she could above the sounds of ground eating speed.
“Will you lead us into suicide or do you have a plan?”
“Aye, my Lady,” came Robbie from her other side, a fist over his heart in salute and fealty when she glanced to him. “I be hoping for a plan, personally.”
GwenAnna’s frightened tears were leached quickly by joy so startling she began to laugh. The sound was not as rusty as she feared it would be, nor were there any hysterical currents giving away her nerves. Gurgling cheerfully up, the feminine sound carried back on the wind where it strengthened her troupes.
“There is a plan,” she assured her new lieutenants with authority. She added loudly enough to carry back to her guardsmen, “We take back what is ours!”
And mine, she thought as a laughing smile and bright blue eyes flashed through her mind. Mine.
She pushed the image away, focusing on the hard pace they set, and combining through all the knowledge she had to give them what she had promised.
A plan. Please the Lord, His Blessed Mother and St Martin of the flowing springs, it would be a plan inspired enough to get them all back home.
Alive.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am interested in what you feel, how you respond, if you end a section with a sense of confusion or a desire to read more.
You help me make my writing stronger, more vital, and I appreciate the time you are giving me-- a lot.
OK, here we go . . . .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The horses rode at a steady canter, GwenAnna rhythm in the saddle almost hypnotic upon her tired thoughts. She moved to glance back over her shoulder, when one of her guards slapped Redmere’s flanks, causing her to focus in the now with all her strength.
Redmere leapt to the challenge, a study of female might taking charge. GwenAnna’s horse picked her way to the front of their current herd, neighed, and was off. Gwenanna was glad for the guard’s poor choice. At the front of the column, with shuddering resolve, she and Redmere slowly began turning the boys until a quarter way through the lazy loop her Captain realized the plan.
“Lady! We Can Not!”
“Wrong, Robbie. You maybe cannot, but that order did not cover me,” GwenAnna bit out harshly.
Robbie’s startled eyes jumped to Vivian’s heartily laughter. Taking a page from his own book, she slapped his bay on the hindquarters as she speed past to reach her charge. “Loopholes, Robbie, she found her loophole. Be Merry!” And if that were not enough to send prayers rising to heaven, her next words were.
Tossed over her shoulder, Vivian added cheerfully, “I do believe she means to fight!”
Robbie brought his horse under control with little thought except, “Holy Mother of God, His Lordship is going to flay me alive this time for sure.”
His men had slowed with him, gaining his ire. They waited his decision to follow or his order to take their Lady by force if need be, back to her Father’s castle.
Muttering a litany to his favored saints and angels, he dragged in a breath and spit out his decision.
“Well what you waiting for, a command performance? We follow our Lady.”
“His Lordship is going to . . .”
“. . .is going to flay me,” Robbie shouted back as he gained speed and heart, “and I rather think this time it be no empty threat. So decide and follow, or run and bring help. Either choice lands you in one strong camp of the other.”
The men looked at each other with smiles, chuckling as they leaned into their direction. Exuberance burst upon them, as if old Viking blood had pushed through the cultivated stuff they’d been trying to fill their hearts with.
A young voice called, breaking in the middle of his cry with the bane of male adolescence. “Avec the Gwens! Avec GwenAnna!”
The soldiers came straight and hard at her back, pounding behind her and crying into the wind, “Avec GwenAnna!”
Her heart overflowed. Her eyes brimmed wetly, and she glanced to her left where the warrior Vivian now rode.
Vivian gave her a nod of friendship, of comrade, of acknowledged achievement. She pulled closer to GwenAnna to speak as quietly as she could above the sounds of ground eating speed.
“Will you lead us into suicide or do you have a plan?”
“Aye, my Lady,” came Robbie from her other side, a fist over his heart in salute and fealty when she glanced to him. “I be hoping for a plan, personally.”
GwenAnna’s frightened tears were leached quickly by joy so startling she began to laugh. The sound was not as rusty as she feared it would be, nor were there any hysterical currents giving away her nerves. Gurgling cheerfully up, the feminine sound carried back on the wind where it strengthened her troupes.
“There is a plan,” she assured her new lieutenants with authority. She added loudly enough to carry back to her guardsmen, “We take back what is ours!”
And mine, she thought as a laughing smile and bright blue eyes flashed through her mind. Mine.
She pushed the image away, focusing on the hard pace they set, and combining through all the knowledge she had to give them what she had promised.
A plan. Please the Lord, His Blessed Mother and St Martin of the flowing springs, it would be a plan inspired enough to get them all back home.
Alive.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~