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I realized too late that scolding my teen would make him want to do the opposite of what I want.
My mother frustration was blunted by the flowers and chocolate sent by my older son (bitches like roses) reminding me that kids can get better as they get older.
I went through a bad patch hating myself for being the person I am. But there is no sense thinking like that. There is damage and spoilage, but the rot can be cut out if I can find something sharp enough.