Can I go on with the rest of my day, now??
Now that I'm entirely distracted by the anonymous post's contents...
I think that maybe it was Andrew. And if it was, I am sure that he is not pleased to have come across something so loaded and angry sounding.
The one and only time that I ever wrote in here, I was truly upset. I was also hurt. Back then, I was still in love with him, and clung to the stupid hope that he would return to me and everything in between would be forgotten.
On that one day that he surprised the crap out of me by showing up outside of my dorm when he was supposed to be thousands of miles away, my hopes grew. Later that day, he made it clear to me that he didn't intend on being with me ever again, that he couldn't be with me ever again. He set that limitation all on his own and I had nothing that I could do or say to change the decision.
Not only did this wreck my mind and heart, but to see him when I never thought I would see him again startled me. The person that I saw was different in some ways from the person I used to know. He seemed artificial. I did not like it.
And then he left, and seemed to offer no help to ease my worries right up until the end, when I walked away from him in tears. Later that night, I went to see my friend, but before that, I went to this website and posted the offensive, hate filled, hurt and confused journal post.
Because it was written minutes after the whole ordeal, it was very nasty. My emotions take me over at times, so what could one expect?
At any rate, everything has changed. Andrew rarely speaks to me anymore. He has a new relationship and I can only hope that he knows of the emotion, love, again. He even said that the only thing that I can rely on with him is that he is not reliable.
I have moved on. I do not, at the moment, want to be with someone again. It has been a year and a half or so since the breakup. Mekin is my solace and peace and love, and that is all that I can ask for.
If you did come across the last journal entry, and are hurt, I am really sorry. But I was hurt, too. You must understand, somehow.
I think that maybe it was Andrew. And if it was, I am sure that he is not pleased to have come across something so loaded and angry sounding.
The one and only time that I ever wrote in here, I was truly upset. I was also hurt. Back then, I was still in love with him, and clung to the stupid hope that he would return to me and everything in between would be forgotten.
On that one day that he surprised the crap out of me by showing up outside of my dorm when he was supposed to be thousands of miles away, my hopes grew. Later that day, he made it clear to me that he didn't intend on being with me ever again, that he couldn't be with me ever again. He set that limitation all on his own and I had nothing that I could do or say to change the decision.
Not only did this wreck my mind and heart, but to see him when I never thought I would see him again startled me. The person that I saw was different in some ways from the person I used to know. He seemed artificial. I did not like it.
And then he left, and seemed to offer no help to ease my worries right up until the end, when I walked away from him in tears. Later that night, I went to see my friend, but before that, I went to this website and posted the offensive, hate filled, hurt and confused journal post.
Because it was written minutes after the whole ordeal, it was very nasty. My emotions take me over at times, so what could one expect?
At any rate, everything has changed. Andrew rarely speaks to me anymore. He has a new relationship and I can only hope that he knows of the emotion, love, again. He even said that the only thing that I can rely on with him is that he is not reliable.
I have moved on. I do not, at the moment, want to be with someone again. It has been a year and a half or so since the breakup. Mekin is my solace and peace and love, and that is all that I can ask for.
If you did come across the last journal entry, and are hurt, I am really sorry. But I was hurt, too. You must understand, somehow.