Can't wait till Tampa
So far today:
#1 Could not sleep because of nocturnal redneck Neanderthals next door. Twitchy legs made encore appearances. Slept in office more than bedroom in past two weeks. I am convinced that there are people in my house at night. I’m starting to feel like Agent Smith in the scene where he interrogates Morpheus and vise versa. Cognitive dissonance.
#2 Woke up after not enough sleep. When downstairs to get coffee find trash bag knocked over and trash strewn out. Piss and shit from dog posterior on carpet. Stepped in it. Note from Jen wishing thesis-related luck. Coffee is ok. Not enough cigarettes. Have to go to store after writing this.
#3 Have to teach 1101 at 12:50. Reviewing concepts that should have gotten across the first time around. Evidence and library webpage use. Sick of teaching this class at UF - not really teaching, students not really students. No such thing as “writing” given reality established by bureaucratic ontology (that one’s for you, cody).
#4 Have to “defend” thesis at 2:00. Supposedly one hour long. Can’t imagine what will take an hour. Got all paperwork together, including bullshit article on the word bullshit so that the ‘editors’ can confirm my citation method. Highlighted word bullshit in article title. Still need to make minor stylistic and wording revisions, pay $13 fee, convert to PDF, and submit physical and digital copies.
#5 Then get to meet with Harpold at 3:30. Not much to say: “Class is fascinating. Have nothing to say or add. WTF do I write a seminar paper prospectus and annotated bibliography on, let alone the twenty page paper itself?”
#6 Drinks, sushi, some kind of celebration regarding Jen finishing internship and my “finishing” thesis tonight. Finally get to meet Jen’s co-teacher after their working together for several months. Sad Mallory not working tonight at Sushi bar. Been thinking about time in Tokyo a lot recently.
#7 Sad realization that I haven’t really done anything in grad school. Way too much bullshit, arrogance, dead text, and unnecessary verbosity to ever have the energy left over to look into the things I wanted to study: Effects of technology on reading, writing, and therefore thinking and being. New i-phone tilts images displayed on screen to match eye-line of viewer, thus making subjective position of viewer’s gaze a non-reality. How much further can this go before there is no more subject, just the information projected in unidirectional fashion onto disembodied (eye)? Narratological constructions of ideology and power. Who is the narrator? Who is the listener? Gender and other bifurcations as expressed in science fiction. Ripley never wins until she merges with technology, becomes cyborg. Android always loses until we meet Call in part four - not really android at that point, cyborg. Language as technology, technology as language: word as trap. Classical and modern rhetoric. None of these things ever really more than touched on, except for in conference paper (hypertext construct replacing memory palace in subversive/non-conscious manner). Very disappointed that Ulmer turned out to be who he is - would have been fascinated to work with him. Can blame system and “rhetoric and composition track,” can blame self, can blame life. No matter - independence comes soon, will begin working on first book as soon as possible to prove point if nothing else.
Time to shit and go buy cigarettes. Then clean up trash and excrement on floor before showering and leaving for day. Going to be a long day - not the day to have missed out on so much sleep.
#1 Could not sleep because of nocturnal redneck Neanderthals next door. Twitchy legs made encore appearances. Slept in office more than bedroom in past two weeks. I am convinced that there are people in my house at night. I’m starting to feel like Agent Smith in the scene where he interrogates Morpheus and vise versa. Cognitive dissonance.
#2 Woke up after not enough sleep. When downstairs to get coffee find trash bag knocked over and trash strewn out. Piss and shit from dog posterior on carpet. Stepped in it. Note from Jen wishing thesis-related luck. Coffee is ok. Not enough cigarettes. Have to go to store after writing this.
#3 Have to teach 1101 at 12:50. Reviewing concepts that should have gotten across the first time around. Evidence and library webpage use. Sick of teaching this class at UF - not really teaching, students not really students. No such thing as “writing” given reality established by bureaucratic ontology (that one’s for you, cody).
#4 Have to “defend” thesis at 2:00. Supposedly one hour long. Can’t imagine what will take an hour. Got all paperwork together, including bullshit article on the word bullshit so that the ‘editors’ can confirm my citation method. Highlighted word bullshit in article title. Still need to make minor stylistic and wording revisions, pay $13 fee, convert to PDF, and submit physical and digital copies.
#5 Then get to meet with Harpold at 3:30. Not much to say: “Class is fascinating. Have nothing to say or add. WTF do I write a seminar paper prospectus and annotated bibliography on, let alone the twenty page paper itself?”
#6 Drinks, sushi, some kind of celebration regarding Jen finishing internship and my “finishing” thesis tonight. Finally get to meet Jen’s co-teacher after their working together for several months. Sad Mallory not working tonight at Sushi bar. Been thinking about time in Tokyo a lot recently.
#7 Sad realization that I haven’t really done anything in grad school. Way too much bullshit, arrogance, dead text, and unnecessary verbosity to ever have the energy left over to look into the things I wanted to study: Effects of technology on reading, writing, and therefore thinking and being. New i-phone tilts images displayed on screen to match eye-line of viewer, thus making subjective position of viewer’s gaze a non-reality. How much further can this go before there is no more subject, just the information projected in unidirectional fashion onto disembodied (eye)? Narratological constructions of ideology and power. Who is the narrator? Who is the listener? Gender and other bifurcations as expressed in science fiction. Ripley never wins until she merges with technology, becomes cyborg. Android always loses until we meet Call in part four - not really android at that point, cyborg. Language as technology, technology as language: word as trap. Classical and modern rhetoric. None of these things ever really more than touched on, except for in conference paper (hypertext construct replacing memory palace in subversive/non-conscious manner). Very disappointed that Ulmer turned out to be who he is - would have been fascinated to work with him. Can blame system and “rhetoric and composition track,” can blame self, can blame life. No matter - independence comes soon, will begin working on first book as soon as possible to prove point if nothing else.
Time to shit and go buy cigarettes. Then clean up trash and excrement on floor before showering and leaving for day. Going to be a long day - not the day to have missed out on so much sleep.