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20 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity
1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a
hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Do not disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask him or her "Do you
want fries with that?"
4. Put your waste bin on your desk, and label it "In."
5. Put Decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten
over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "For Sexual Favors"
7. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the Prophecy."
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Ask people what sex they are, and then laugh hysterically at their
answer.
11. Specify that your drive through order is "To Go."
12. Sing along at the Opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area, and play tropical sounds
all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell you friends you won't be attending their
party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
(17,18,and 19 are the best, I laughed my ass off. They cheered-up the fuck out of me (<- does that make sense?))
17. When your money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won!"
18. When leaving the zoo, start running toward the parking lot
screaming, "Run for your lives! They're loose!"
19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we're going to
have to let one of you go."
oh man this is great!!!
1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a
hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Do not disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask him or her "Do you
want fries with that?"
4. Put your waste bin on your desk, and label it "In."
5. Put Decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten
over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "For Sexual Favors"
7. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the Prophecy."
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Ask people what sex they are, and then laugh hysterically at their
answer.
11. Specify that your drive through order is "To Go."
12. Sing along at the Opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area, and play tropical sounds
all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell you friends you won't be attending their
party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
(17,18,and 19 are the best, I laughed my ass off. They cheered-up the fuck out of me (<- does that make sense?))
17. When your money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won!"
18. When leaving the zoo, start running toward the parking lot
screaming, "Run for your lives! They're loose!"
19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we're going to
have to let one of you go."
oh man this is great!!!