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So...20 minutes ago I thought about updating this, but I didn't have anything to write. Well...I'm at work, and my mom just called me. I called her back and she told me...that my best friend, from back home...his mom passed away about an hour ago. I feel horrible. I mean...she has been really sick. Breast cancer a few years ago, but then she went into remission. Last fall...the cancer came back in her other breast. Then recently she has had complications with the chemo...messing up her heart. She has been in ICU, and...now she's gone. Again...I feel horrible because with knowing that she has been sick...I still never called Lenny. I lost contact with him...same with all of my friends from back home except Biel. I never called him because...I didn't know what to say. Well...I called him. I told him I feel horrible for never calling him...and he said that there is nothing to worry about. BUT I can't help it. I can't go back and be there for him when I knew she was sick. I wasn't a good friend...and so I feel horrible for letting him down.
All of these memories keep flooding back from when I was little. His mom always got so excited when I came over. I wrote my entrance essay for the college of architecture and planning when I was in her senior comp class. She helped me out with it and revised it. That essay was the only reason I got into the program...got so close to my dream. When I was on my death bed...she was there. After I got out of the hospital...and other place...she called me...singing the song that I started the essay with. Ugh...I wish I could go back and change things...be there for Lenny.
So...the funeral is probably going to be Sunday, which means I have to drive up to Munster. I'm not sure if I'm going up Saturday or early Sunday morning. If I go up on Saturday, then I miss Brian's and James's brithday parties. If I go Sunday morning...then I can't drink Saturday night and I won't be going to bed. I'll leave around 5 or so in the morning. So I don't know what to do...maybe the funeral will be Monday. I hope it isn't on Tuesday or later because I will have to miss class....and then will get behind. I also will have to call of work. So I have to buy a shirt tomorrow...because I have no nice shirts to wear a tie with. I might have to buy a tie too. Ugh...
My classes have been hell. So much homework and reading. I basically wake up at 6 every morning to go to work...then class...then work class then work again until like midnight. I have gotten no sleep lately. When I do...I sleep like shit. I have no free time...and basically no one to hang out with here. I see Mike every once in a while...but not enough. This History class is the hardest class I've had. James warned me about it...and it scared me right away. We have to read 750 pages in 5 weeks. We had our first test yesterday...and on the multiple choice part...I got an 87. That's with the curve and bonus. He hasn't graded the essay yet...but I'm hoping we find out tomorrow. I don't think I did to bad on the essay...but who knows.
I have been holding up pretty well, though. I'm lonely and bored a lot...and that's how my summer is gonna be. I tried to talk to my dad about letting me see Marcus in August...but he isn't going for it. I'm gonna see if I can have it be my birthday present. I'll need a vacation after this summer. Right now...I kinda wish I had a boyfriend. It would make my time here a lot better. When I get stressed out...I could jsut have them hold me. That would be nice.
I'm not depressed in any way. I'm actually pretty happy lately...just bored. Haha. Oh well...
So...I guess I'm gonna go. Until next time...
All of these memories keep flooding back from when I was little. His mom always got so excited when I came over. I wrote my entrance essay for the college of architecture and planning when I was in her senior comp class. She helped me out with it and revised it. That essay was the only reason I got into the program...got so close to my dream. When I was on my death bed...she was there. After I got out of the hospital...and other place...she called me...singing the song that I started the essay with. Ugh...I wish I could go back and change things...be there for Lenny.
So...the funeral is probably going to be Sunday, which means I have to drive up to Munster. I'm not sure if I'm going up Saturday or early Sunday morning. If I go up on Saturday, then I miss Brian's and James's brithday parties. If I go Sunday morning...then I can't drink Saturday night and I won't be going to bed. I'll leave around 5 or so in the morning. So I don't know what to do...maybe the funeral will be Monday. I hope it isn't on Tuesday or later because I will have to miss class....and then will get behind. I also will have to call of work. So I have to buy a shirt tomorrow...because I have no nice shirts to wear a tie with. I might have to buy a tie too. Ugh...
My classes have been hell. So much homework and reading. I basically wake up at 6 every morning to go to work...then class...then work class then work again until like midnight. I have gotten no sleep lately. When I do...I sleep like shit. I have no free time...and basically no one to hang out with here. I see Mike every once in a while...but not enough. This History class is the hardest class I've had. James warned me about it...and it scared me right away. We have to read 750 pages in 5 weeks. We had our first test yesterday...and on the multiple choice part...I got an 87. That's with the curve and bonus. He hasn't graded the essay yet...but I'm hoping we find out tomorrow. I don't think I did to bad on the essay...but who knows.
I have been holding up pretty well, though. I'm lonely and bored a lot...and that's how my summer is gonna be. I tried to talk to my dad about letting me see Marcus in August...but he isn't going for it. I'm gonna see if I can have it be my birthday present. I'll need a vacation after this summer. Right now...I kinda wish I had a boyfriend. It would make my time here a lot better. When I get stressed out...I could jsut have them hold me. That would be nice.
I'm not depressed in any way. I'm actually pretty happy lately...just bored. Haha. Oh well...
So...I guess I'm gonna go. Until next time...