Every Little Thing, part two
part one
After the kitten escapades, Jesse is unfortunately given enough free time to revert back to thinking about Andrew. It’s horrible, because every time Jesse sees him at the preschool, being so British and friendly, all he can think about is how he is so perfect. Jesse has enough trouble balancing everything in his life-making sure his daughter gets fed and to school on time and stops making large glittery messes in the living room-let alone dealing with twenty preschoolers while still being ridiculously charming and keeping himself together in a nonchalant kind of way. The word crush flickers into Jesse’s head a couple of times, but he tries to ignore it, because that can’t possibly be what’s causing this.
Except now and again he wishes Rebecca were around to help him figure his life out, which means it has to be serious, and then he just wants to punish himself for being so incompetent around Andrew and for not knowing what to do. Having Sophia helps tremendously because she distracts him from his ridiculous thoughts, but she also led him to Andrew to begin with. It leaves Jesse feeling conflicted.
It all is worsened when he gets to a meeting one afternoon that ends up running late. He normally picks Sophia up at three, but the meeting barely gets out at three, at which point Jesse is sprinting to his car to try to make it there as early as possible. Unfortunately, he gets stuck in traffic, the inevitable rush-hour madness that he was trying hard to avoid. Despite his strict anti-phone policy he enforces with himself while driving, Jesse goes to reach for his phone so he can call the preschool and warn them that he’s going to be late. Only his phone isn’t in his pocket. Or anywhere in the car, apparently, because he had put it in his jacket pocket, only to decide he wasn’t going to need his jacket.
“Of course,” he says to himself. He’s ready to start pounding his head against the steering wheel. Sophia faced a lot of separation anxiety when she first started school, the same way Jesse had when he was her age, and she’s never liked not knowing where he is. As long as there’s a routine, it’s okay, but when changes pop up there’s this idea in her mind that, because Jesse doesn’t know exactly when he’ll get back, he’ll apparently never be back, and it freaks her out.
There’s no stopping the traffic, though, so Jesse does his best to stay calm through it, and not be the person that honks at miles of cars that are probably just as anxious to get somewhere as he is.
He gets to the preschool nearly two hours later, long after all the other kids have gone home, and feels horrible for it. He heads inside and through the classroom door and sees, on the circle rug, Sophia and Andrew. Sophia is sitting in Andrew’s lap, sniffling loudly, the same way she always does when she’s finally done crying. Andrew is reading a book to her-Corduroy, Jesse sees as he gets closer. His voice is soft and gentle and he does the voices the right way and lets Sophia turn the pages. Jesse feels rude to interrupt, so he waits patiently at the door until Sophia must see him out of the corner of her eye.
She leaps up and exclaims, “Daddy!” as loud as she can, and runs up to him, hugging him tightly, as though she were surprised to see he made it back at all. Jesse picks her up and squeezes her tight and apologizes probably a hundred times. Sophia says it’s okay, but Jesse kind of questions whether or not it was two hours ago. He sets her back down when Andrew stands up, puts the book back on the shelf, and walks over toward the both of them.
“I’m so sorry,” Jesse says, and crosses his arms tightly. “I feel horrible. It was a meeting that ran late and there was an accident on the freeway and once you mix that with the regular rush-hour traffic, you’ve got a pure one-mile-per-hour nightmare.”
“Don’t worry,” Andrew says. “I understand completely. It happens, you know? Not your fault.”
“I know, but Sophia, I just...was she okay?”
“A little distraught,” Andrew says, laughing. “But Emma stayed a little late herself to provide some help which-well, helped. Sophia calmed down eventually and I mostly just kept her company. I tried to call, but-”
“I forgot my phone,” Jesse says quickly. “I was sort of an idiot. I’m a horrible parent, I am so sorry.”
“What?” Andrew asks. “No, you’re not. Not at all. Sophia adores you and I explained to her that you were probably caught in traffic and that you must have forgotten your phone and, okay, she was a little skeptical, but see? You’re here and she’s okay and undoubtedly still adores you and you’re not, by any means, a horrible parent.” Jesse just kind laughs awkwardly and Andrew smiles and adds, “I mean it. Anyway, when I pulled out Sophia’s file to get your phone number, I couldn’t help but notice that you live in the apartment complex on Elm Street. I live one block over myself, on Washington, and I just wanted to let you know that, if you ever need a babysitter or anything, I would be happy to help out.”
“Oh,” Jesse says. He sort of wants to stammer, because he never would’ve guessed that Andrew lives so close.
“I mean-you don’t have to say yes. I just thought I would throw the offer out there.”
“No, yeah, thank you,” Jesse replies, and fiddles awkwardly with his shirt sleeve. “Sophia doesn’t handle babysitters very well, so it might, you know, help that she already knows the person. I don’t really-I haven’t needed a sitter recently, but if I do, I’ll definitely ask you. Are you sure you don’t mind?”
Andrew laughs and says, “If I minded, I certainly would not be offering. I would be very happy to, in fact. Sophia is lovely and incredibly well-behaved.”
“I’m taking it you haven’t seen her once she’s discovered where the glitter is kept,” Jesse says, and the both of them laugh.
“I suppose not!”
From next to Jesse, Sophia yawns and Jesse says, “Okay, well, I think she’s worn herself out. I should probably get home and fix her dinner and let her get to bed early.”
“That sounds like a good idea,” Andrew replies, nodding in approval. “I’ll see you both tomorrow!”
“See you then,” Jesse says, and Sophia waves tiredly at Andrew before the both of them make their departure.
: :
It’s scary, really, very scary what happens after Jesse discovers that Andrew lives only one block over. Suddenly, it’s as though Andrew is everywhere. Jesse wonders if he’s subconsciously going near the block he lives on or if Andrew is just stalking him. He sees Andrew at the store one afternoon while he’s out with Sophia buying the necessary ingredients to make (or attempt to make) chocolate chip cookies and Andrew talks to him, saying effortlessly, “Fancy seeing you here, Mr. Eisenberg.”
Jesse just about cringes when he hears that and states, “Jesse. If I’m going to call you Andrew, you’ve got to call me Jesse.”
“Fair enough,” Andrew says.
Before either of them can say anything else, Sophia, from next to Jesse, starts jumping up and down and exclaiming, “Mr. Andrew! Mr. Andrew! Guess what me and Daddy are going to make!”
Andrew says, “Sophia! Sophia! Hmm, let’s see,” and looks down at their basket. He furrows his eyebrows and says, “I see chocolate chips and flour and sugar and...batteries?”
“For the smoke detector,” Jesse states. “So that I know when that I’ve inevitably burned the coo-”
“Don’t tell him!” Sophia interrupts loudly. “He has to guess.” She looks up at Andrew expectantly.
“Well,” he tells her. “My best guess would be that you’re making chocolate chip cookies.”
“Yes!” Sophia shouts. “Yes, yes!” Jesse has to quickly remind her that they’re in a grocery store, which means they have to use inside voices, and quickly she whispers to Jesse, “He was right!” Andrew is watching the both of them with an amused look on his face.
“You’re going to have to save me one,” he says. “I love chocolate chip cookies.”
“We’ll save you one! Of course we will, right, Daddy?”
“Of course,” Jesse says. “Maybe, if he’s lucky, we’ll save him two.” Sophia lets out a delighted squeal.
Andrew laughs loudly and wishes the both of them luck before they part ways.
: :
Two days later Jesse and Sophia are walking to the park when they bump into Andrew, who’s walking his dog, a little corgi that wags eagerly and is perfectly content letting Sophia pet her probably forever. Her name is Rosie, and it’s such an Andrew kind of name.
Another day Sophia is playing outside the apartment when she finds a little duckling and spends ten minutes trying to convince Jesse that it would make the perfect pet.
“No, Sophia, honey,” Jesse tries to explain to her. “The landlord would never let us keep a duck as a pet. Ducks make messes and are very loud and ducks don’t really like cats all that much.” Sophia doesn’t really listen to any of it, though, and names the duckling Quack and tries to insist to Jesse that he would be very quiet and would get along with the cats excellently.
Suddenly, Sophia is running the opposite direction. “Mr. Andrew! Tell Daddy that I can keep Quack.”
Jesse stands up and quickly turns around and why, why is Andrew there?
It turns out, when Jesse finally asks, he has some logical excuse about walking over to the pharmacy, which is, of course, on Jesse’s block. Then, because Andrew is a preschool teacher and knows exactly what to say to kids, more than Jesse does, at least, he tells Sophia, “Your dad has a point about keeping that duckling. I’m sure he wishes he could let you keep it, but ducks are an animal meant for the great outdoors.”
“What about Sancho? I found Sancho outside and Daddy let me keep him.”
“Well,” Andrew says, “cats are exceptions. Cats, dogs, hamsters...they don’t mind houses. They like houses. Ducks need lots of water-more than you’ve got in your home. They need lots of water, and fresh air, and the food they eat is outside too.”
“Oh,” Sophia says, sounding upset.
“You still can see the ducks, though. You said you go to the lake a lot to feed them. That’s all right-great, actually. They’re just not meant for houses or apartments, is all.”
“Yeah,” Sophia says. She looks up at Jesse and asks him, “Can we go to the lake again soon to feed the ducks? Maybe Quack will be there.”
“Sure we can,” Jesse says, if it means keeping Sophia happy. “We’ll go tomorrow, how does that sound?”
“Good,” Sophia says. Andrew stays for just another minute before excusing himself. Then Sophia talks for a while about ducks and preschool and anything else she can go on about. Jesse listens and replies and pretends he isn’t thinking, even a little, about Andrew.
: :
Three days later, Sophia comes down with a miserable case of the flu. It’s March, and happens right when Jesse had just started thinking the both of them were in the clear until autumn. He obviously was wrong, and keeps Sophia home for three days until she’s back to a hundred percent. Thankfully, unlike the last few times she’s gotten sick, it’s only a little difficult managing to get to the store with her sick-he has nice neighbors that ended up helping him out. He didn’t get as much work done as he wanted with Sophia being such a high priority, but it doesn’t concern him horribly.
What does concern him is when, a day later, he finds himself with a bad headache that leads to a cough and then a runny nose and then a fever, and he knows he got Sophia a flu vaccination but wonders whether he got one himself, and soon comes to the conclusion that, no, he didn’t. A day passes like this, and then two, and he gets no work done and just barely manages to get Sophia to and from school and make her dinner without feeling like dropping dead. Sophia is concerned, even though Jesse insists it’s exactly what she had, and he’ll be good as new in no time.
She brings him home a get-well card from school anyway. That same night, around seven, she gets ready for bed and thankfully doesn’t press for any more than one story. Jesse waits to make sure she’s not going to come creeping out like she does sometimes for more water, or to have Jesse check her bedroom for monsters. She doesn’t, so Jesse goes to the living room and, feeling absolutely dead, flops over on his couch. He’s almost asleep, so, so close, when there’s a knock on his apartment door. He thinks he’s hearing things at first, in his sick, probably borderline delusional state, but after a moment there’s another knock, and he decides he might as well check. He almost falls off the couch sitting up, and has to wait a second for his head to stop feeling like it’s swimming, but finally he’s upright and walking slowly toward the door.
He gets there and doesn’t bother checking the peephole or asking, “Who’s there?” like he sometimes does. He just opens the door and standing outside, of course, of all people, is Andrew.
“Jesse,” he says, and immediately frowns. “You look terrible.”
“Yeah,” Jesse replies, his voice hoarse and quiet. “I know.” He crosses his arms-he feels freezing cold all of a sudden-and Andrew just stands there frowning and looking concerned. Jesse notices that he’s holding a brown paper bag in his hand.
He says, “Sophia told me that you were sick and I assumed you must have gotten the flu she was kept home over, and, well, I brought you soup.” He holds up the brown bag and says, “I know it’s terribly cliché, but I figured it would be a safe bet.”
Jesse stares at the brown bag for a minute before saying, “Thank you.” It takes him another minute to put together a few coherent sentences. He says, “You can come inside, if you want. But then you might get sick. Which is a lot worse for you than me or Sophia, probably.”
“Thank you for the offer! I would love to come in, but I have to be on my way, actually. If you’re still feeling sick tomorrow, don’t hesitate to let me know. I can always drop Sophia off at home or watch her if you need a nap, or I could go to the store for you, if you need. I’m sure it can be frustrating as a single parent once one of you gets sick.”
“Yeah,” Jesse agrees. “The past few days have been a little harsh. I’ll let you know if I need any help.”
“All right. Very cool.” Andrew hands Jesse the brown bag and says, “Get well soon! Lots of rest, fluids, all of that.” Jesse nods and thanks Andrew again and waits until he’s turned around to actually shut and lock the door. He’s too exhausted to eat the soup right then, so he puts it in the fridge and heads back to his bedroom and lies down and falls asleep almost immediately.
: :
The next day is when it really sinks into him that Andrew brought him soup the night before. After he drops Sophia off at school, still feeling congested and miserable, he goes back to his house and tries to get some work done. He gives up and eats Andrew’s soup and it doesn’t taste at all store bought, which makes him wonder what that’s supposed to mean. Andrew made him homemade soup and brought it to his house at seven in the evening. Is that, like, a normal thing that the preschool teacher of anybody’s kid would do?
Jesse decides he’s over-analyzing the situation. He washes the container the soup came in, and makes sure to bring it to the preschool with him when he goes to pick up Sophia. He hands it to Andrew and thanks him again. Andrew insists it was no problem at all, and that he’s glad to see Jesse is feeling better. Ms. Emma is making all these faces at Andrew, raising eyebrows and giving him wide smiles, and then she starts nudging him with her elbow. Jesse has no idea what she means by all that, and Andrew doesn’t appear to either, because he looks at Ms. Emma and says, “What?”
“Oh,” Ms. Emma says. “Nothing. Feel better soon, Mr. Eisenberg!”
Reluctantly, Jesse says, “Thanks,” and then he thanks Andrew again and leaves with Sophia feeling more confused than ever.
: :
Two weeks later, Jesse is feeling back to normal again, but realizes it’s going to be a long night when Sophia tries to insist to him that the world is going to end if she doesn’t get to bring Sancho in for show-and-tell. Jesse tries to convince her that the world is absolutely not going to end. She says it totally will and he can’t help but ask if that means the absence of Sancho Panza is going to throw of the balance of everything and cause a natural disaster, or something. Sophia, clearly confused, shouts, “Probably!”
“How about you bring in a photo of him?” Jesse suggests, thinking he’s found the solution.
“No,” Sophia says, and shakes her head.
“Why not?”
“Just because...because no. Sancho wants to see my school.” Jesse takes a deep breath and wonders how he’s managed to be patient with Sophia for four years now.
“Why don’t you take photos of the school to show Sancho?”
“It’s not the same. Sancho wants to meet the fishies, anyway.”
Jesse realizes after this that Sophia is going to find an excuse no matter what, and decides he’s going to have to be the mean parent that tells her, quite simply, “No. You can’t bring any animals into school, Soph. I’m sorry.”
Sophia throws that night probably the worst temper tantrum Jesse has seen out of her since she was two. She kicks and screams but Jesse remains calms and gives her options and waits until she calms down and says, sounding utterly miserable, “I guess I’ll just bring a photo.” She pouts the entire time they take it, but by the time it’s printed and ready to go, she seems a lot happier about it and rambles and rambles on the way to school about what she’s actually going to say once it’s her turn.
Jesse goes home and gets a little bit of work done on the computer and around the house before picking Sophia up from school. She talks the entire way home about how cute everyone thought Sancho is, and how she told them all about Don Quixote. Jesse laughs and says, “That’s great, sweetie,” and listens to her continue on about her day.
They get home and once Sophia has eaten and showered and played and is in bed, Jesse gets on the computer again and, while checking his email, sees a message from his publisher saying that there’s some important event in two days that Jesse absolutely must go to and yadda yadda yadda. For a moment, Jesse gets all nervous, thinking about what he’s going to do about Sophia. Suddenly, he remembers Andrew. He debates for several minutes whether or not Andrew truly would mind watching her. But then he remembers that Andrew made him soup. That must mean he doesn’t mind, right? That’s at least the conclusion Jesse draws, because suddenly, he’s emailing Andrew:
Andrew,
This is Jesse Eisenberg, Sophia’s dad. I’m hoping two days notice isn’t considered short notice, but if it is, sorry. I was just emailed about a mandatory event I have to be at on Friday starting at 7 pm, meaning I’d have to leave at 6 pm, which means Sophia needs someone to watch her from then until the earliest they let me leave (hopefully early; it always depends). I know you offered to watch her, and if you were being serious, Friday would be the perfect night. I would absolutely pay you and you could eat all our food if you wanted and buy movies On Demand and make a mess and I would still appreciate it. Just let me know. Thanks,
Jesse
Jesse keeps a close eye on his phone after that, waiting for the familiar ping telling him he’s got an email. The first two pings are just spam, but finally, after a couple of hours, he hears a third ping. Quickly, he grabs his phone and reads Andrew’s response:
Jesse, I wouldn’t mind watching Sophia at all! No need to pay me, and no rush on getting back early at all. I can be there at 6 (or earlier, if necessary) and stay as long as you need. I promise not to eat all your food or rent On Demand or make any messes.
Andrew :)
Jesse waits about half an hour to email back. He tells Andrew that six would be perfect. Andrew doesn’t email back, but confirms the next day, Thursday, “See you then!” And three more times before then, Jesse thinks, but doesn’t mention so.
He smiles, says, “Sounds good,” and goes to leave.
: :
Friday rolls around very quickly, something Jesse wishes wouldn’t have happened. He has to get all dressed up in a suit, and Sophia asks why he looks all fancy, and Jesse says, “I have to go out for a little bit, Soph.”
“Do I get to go with?” Sophia asks. “And wear one of my dresses?”
“No, not this time,” Jesse says. Sophia looks a little disheartened, so Jesse quickly adds, “But-do you know who’s going to be watching you?”
“No,” Sophia says.
“None other than Mr. Andrew,” Jesse states, and Sophia’s eyes widen.
“Really?” she asks. When Jesse nods, she jumps up and down quickly and exclaims, “That’s even better! I can show him my room and we can watch Cinderella and everything!”
Jesse nods, but walks to the living and sits down on the couch to wait for Andrew. Sophia follows and Jesse tells her, “I know you’re excited, but you have to remember to be on your best behavior for him.” Sophia nods rapidly. “That means cleaning up any messes you make, and listening to what Mr. Andrew says.”
“Like in school,” Sophia states.
“Kind of,” Jesse says. “But when he says it’s bedtime, you’re going to go to bed, okay?”
“Is he going to read a story?”
“I’ll be sure to tell him to.” There’s a knock on the door after that. Sophia looks at Jesse eagerly, and Jesse says, “I put your pajamas on your bed, Soph. Why don’t you go get them on so that I can talk to Andrew alone for a minute.”
“But-”
“Best behavior,” Jesse reminds her, and she huffs but heads toward her bedroom. Jesse looks himself up and down before wondering to himself what he’s doing. He shakes his head and opens the front door.
Andrew smiles at Jesse, looks him up and down, and says, “Hello! You’re looking very snazzy tonight. This must be quite the event.”
“Yeah,” Jesse says. “There are always a couple each year like this that I always dread, but can never avoid. Oh well.” He lets Andrew in and continues, shutting the door as he speaks, “So, it should be a pretty calm night. I asked Sophia to try to be on her best behavior-I can only hope she listens.”
“I’m sure she will,” Andrew says, and Jesse laughs.
“We’ll see. Anyway, like I said, it shouldn’t be too bad. She normally goes to bed at 7:00, but I have a feeling she’ll be a little hyper tonight, so it’s okay if she stays up a little late-7:30 is probably a good time to have her start getting ready-just brushing her teeth and stuff. The most important thing is her bedtime story. She always picks, and if she chooses something ridiculous, like Don Quixote or Tolstoy, just roll with it. You shouldn’t have to read too much of that stuff-a few pages, you know. She’ll ask a lot of questions, but you probably already could assume that.”
“She’s always quite curious, yes,” Andrew says happily. “I’m sure it will go very smoothly.”
“I really hope,” Jesse says, rubbing the back of his neck. “She’ll probably insist on reading in my room, which is fine with me, as long as you don’t mind. It’s just…she didn’t react well with her last babysitter, so I’m really hoping it helps that she knows you so well. If she wonders when I’ll be home, just tell her that I’ll be here when she wakes up. If anything happens, my phone is on, so really, don’t hesitate to call. Like I said, you’re welcome to eat or drink whatever, and to watch TV. It really should be a calm night, I think.”
“All right,” Andrew says, and then looks at his watch. “You should probably get going, huh?”
“Probably,” Jesse admits, checking the time himself.
“Have a good time at your event! I’ll see you in a little while. Remember-no rush.”’
“Okay,” Jesse says, and then, “Thank you,” and, “See you in a bit.” He rushes out the front door and really, really hopes for the best.
: :
He gets home at about 12:30 in the morning, which isn’t horrible, but is still kind of late when he was trying to leave at nine. He walks in quietly and tries not to let the door make a lot of noise behind him. He sees a pair of shoes by the front door and, when he turns around, notices Andrew sitting criss-cross on the couch. Playing on the TV is what looks like CNN, but Andrew’s already reaching for the remote and shutting it off.
“Hey there,” he says.
Jesse waves and asks, bracing himself for the worst, “How did it go?”
“Wonderfully,” Andrew replies, standing up. “We played a couple rounds of Candy Land before she started yawning and I got her to bed. We read a couple shorter stories-kid’s books, you know. I don’t think I would’ve done too well with Don Quixote or Tolstoy. She went right to sleep-didn’t come out or anything at all. It went really, very wonderfully.”
“That’s good,” Jesse says, feeling the urge to sigh in relief. He goes on to say, “I’m really, really grateful for your help. Are you sure I can’t pay you at all?”
“Absolutely positive.”
“Oh,” Jesse says. “Well, I owe you somehow, okay?”
The both of them are standing in front of the door, super close to each other, and Jesse’s palms feel sweaty and he looks like an idiot, staring at Andrew’s face as he says, “No, don’t worry about it.” He says it so nonchalantly, but there’s this genuine tone in his voice that never seems to escape him, no matter what he says. He smiles at Jesse and they just look at each other for a minute.
Without any warning at all, the both of them are getting closer and Jesse feels like he’s stuck in a cliché movie. He and Andrew are suddenly kissing. In retrospect, even right after pulling away, Jesse couldn’t say with certainty who initiated it. He never thought he would do something like that, but when Andrew certainly couldn’t have been the one to do it, it must have been him, right? He starts apologizing frantically and muttering, “No, no, no,” under his breath, and pulling the door open.
He apologizes a few more times, and whenever Andrew goes to say something-several times-Jesse just shakes his head and nudges him out the door. Soon, Andrew gives up on trying to speak, so Jesse just says, “Sorry and thank you again for watching Sophia,” and shuts the door quickly. He says to himself, feeling miserable, “So stupid of me.”
: :
Jesse can remember thinking that what he had for Andrew might have just been a crush at most. He wonders now if everyone kisses their crushes after they’re done babysitting. He kind of has his doubts.
He truthfully spends a lot of time wondering-way too much. Wondering why he kissed Andrew and why he didn’t ask first, like, “Hey, do you want to kiss or something?” and he wonders why he shoved Andrew right out and wonders if Andrew is going to stop being so nice with Sophia because her dad is weird.
He realizes that it’s probably impossible for Andrew to be mean, and feels a little better. He stops feeling better when he’s at school, dropping off and picking up Sophia, and Andrew keeps trying to talk to him. He has to keep saying, “No, I’ve got to run,” or stop making eye contact, but the entire problem is that Andrew is so nice, so much that he looks at Jesse and talks to him like the one night never even took place, and Jesse just wants to beg him to yell and scream so that they can both move on.
He doesn’t, so Jesse spends a painfully long amount of time feeling awful.
: :
The good thing about pining (or whatever it is Jesse finds himself almost constantly doing) is that it’s lessened by Sophia. He has to be with her in the mornings and evenings, and she’s great at making sure he gets the chance to laugh during the day and stop feeling so panicked. She’s always been good at cheering him up, and Jesse is grateful.
One evening Sophia plays outside and finds herself absolutely covered, basically head to toe, in mud. Jesse tries to get angry with her, but she just smiles up at him and says, “But I got the worm!” and there’s nothing else he can do but laugh.
“That’s good,” he says. “But it’s getting dark, so you need to let the worm go back to its home, and then you need to come inside so you can get a bath.”
Sophia knows by now that there’s no avoiding baths, especially if she gets really dirty, so she puts the worm onto the grass and follows Jesse upstairs to their apartment. He has to make her take her shoes off before they go inside-they're that dirty-and she follows him into the bathroom.
Their apartment is practically impeccable, because Jesse does his best to clean it every day, but there are always two rooms that, no matter how much Jesse tries to clean them, will always remain dirty. The first room is Sophia’s, which always looks like a tornado has hit, because she’s always playing in there. Jesse doesn’t like cleaning her room for her, because he doesn’t want her to think that he’ll always be cleaning up after her. He helps her clean up before bed, usually, but frequently, when Sophia can’t sleep, she’ll pull out all her science tools and go exploring in her room. So, Jesse has sort of given up there.
The bathroom is easily the second room that never stays clean. It’s a little harder to explain, since Jesse cleans it almost every day. Even so, it happens too often that he trips over all of Sophia’s bath toys when he goes to shower. He always has to wonder how they got there, and he always picks them up, only to trip over them again the following day.
Sophia tries to convince Jesse that it’d be a good idea to bring Sancho and George in for her bath today to keep them company. “No,” Jesse insists. “You’ve got all of your duckies in here to keep you company.” He points at the pile of rubber ducks already sitting in the bathtub and Sophia pouts a little.
“But my duckies want to see the cats,” she says.
“They can’t, though. Cats don’t like water. They would beg to leave.”
“Aw, fine,” Sophia says. She gives Jesse a miserable look the entire time she’s getting her bath, and Jesse thinks she intentionally splashes him with water a few times. He’d gotten really good at not ending up soaking wet, and yet today he’s left so soaked that he ends up having to change shirts.
“Funny, Sophia,” he says after he’s changed shirts. Sophia just giggles to herself, and really, Jesse can’t stay mad. He laughs himself and rolls his eyes fondly.
: :
Another day, while still not thinking about Andrew, Jesse goes to the local pharmacy. Sophia is accompanying him, asking for this and that and Jesse finally tells her, “You can get one or two little things. That’s it, though. I have the right to veto anything that’s too messy or loud or living.”
Sophia asks, “What’s veto mean?” but then goes running over toward the nail polish. He debates categorizing it as messy, but figures that she hasn’t had painted nails since she was three and one of the babysitters Jesse tried out brought a few bottles over. So, he follows her to the racks and she pulls off of one of them a bright shade of pink.
Jesse looks immediately at the price and sees that it costs ten dollars. He asks himself, “Why does nail polish cost ten dollars?” and directs Sophia over to a rack with cheaper bottles.
They’re much, much more reasonably priced, and she finds a similar shade of pink and some glitter and Jesse approves. He grabs a bottle of nail polish remover (precautionary, he thinks), and reminds Sophia that she has to wait until he finishes his shopping and they get home to actually use it.
Once they get back to their apartment and all settled down, he sits down with Sophia in their living room. He reads the nail polish bottle which gives him no instruction on what to do, other than encouraging two coats. He takes Sophia’s right hand and notices how tiny her nails are. He stares for a minute but takes a deep breath and shakes the bottle and opens it up and gives it a shot.
It goes just a little disastrously. He gets nail polish on her nails, sure, but he also gets some on the rest of her hand (and a little on the table, and, later, he realizes there’s some on both Sancho and George). Then he has to add glitter which goes on all thinly and Sophia keeps telling him, “It needs more. That’s not enough. More please!” and he eventually has to cut her off.
“Do you want them to dry?” he asks. “Because they’re not going to if we add three hundred coats of glitter.”
She sounds resigned to the idea of stoping but admits, “Okay, I guess this is enough.”
She manages to wait a solid ten minutes before insisting that her nails must be dry. Jesse figures that must be impossible, but lets her head to her room (which would, in fact, explain the polish on Sancho and George). She comes back out an hour later complaining that she’s bored. Jesse lists off probably a thousand different ideas of what she could do, but she just shakes her head again and again.
She sees the nail polish sitting on the table and looks up at Jesse with wide eyes and asks, “Daddy, can I paint your nails?”
“What?” Jesse asks. “No, I don’t think that would work too well. Besides, that wasn’t on my list of ideas.”
“Yeah, but Daddy, just one hand. Just one?” Jesse wonders if she knows how that would probably look more ridiculous than both. She’s so insistent though-stubborn, like her mom-and Jesse starts to second-guess himself, wondering if saying no is depriving her from artistic opportunity or something. At the very least, he has nail polish remover. So, he finally obliges and sits down (making sure to put a few paper towels on the table first), and Sophia goes to town painting his nails. They’re very, very messy, pink polish splattered just about everywhere but his actual nails.
When Sophia finally gets to bed, Jesse goes to find the nail polish remover, only to realize he can’t find it anywhere. He searches a little frantically, and eventually comes to the conclusion that he must have left it at the pharmacy. Feeling like an idiot, he thinks about going back and getting it, but realizes that he would have to wake up Sophia to do that, and that the pharmacy is going to be closing soon anyway.
He eventually accepts the fact, and scrubs all the polish off of his skin, and plans to get nail polish remover the next day.
: :
Days have passed-probably even weeks-since Jesse completely ruined his life by kissing Andrew. He has this horrible suspicion that it’s not over yet when he goes into school to drop off Sophia and Ms. Emma confronts him by asking, “Hey, can I talk with you for a minute?”
“I guess?” Jesse says. He hasn’t really ever spoken with Ms. Emma before and it catches him off guard.
She pulls him outside of the classroom and into the hall and says, “So, Andrew is pining and it’s getting kind of out of hand.”
“He’s pining? Who is he pining for?”
“Ohh,” Ms. Emma says disappointedly to herself. “It’s no wonder he’s been acting this way. You’re…oblivious.”
“Oblivious? I’m so confused. Who is he pining for and why am I oblivious?”
Ms. Emma lowers her voice to a whisper and says, “He kissed you and you freaked out. And ever since, he’s been all, ‘Oh, he must absolutely hate me!’ and has been pining. Even if you don’t like him, you should just let him know that you at least don’t hate him. I don’t like seeing him so upset and I don’t want to have to blame you for it.”
Jesse tries to process all the information, and finally, he manages to say, “But I kissed him. Not the other way around. He’s supposed to hate me.”
“Oh no,” Ms. Emma says. “No, no no. Okay…wow. I’ll talk to Andrew. You should go ahead and go home-and don’t worry, because I’ll take care of it.”
Jesse goes to say, “Take care of what?” But Ms. Emma gives him this look that’s a cross between don’t worry and don’t you dare question this. Jesse rubs a hand over his face with frustration.
“Nice nails, by the way,” Ms. Emma says, and almost sounds sincere. “Cute color.”
“Sophia, you know,” Jesse says, feeling ridiculous.
“I figured,” Ms. Emma says, and winks at Jesse before laughing and heading back inside. Jesse, feeling confused and really, really ridiculous heads back home and tries to think about nothing. He can’t say he succeeds.
: :
He goes back into the preschool about six hours later to pick Sophia up and neither Ms. Emma nor Andrew says anything to him. He figures Ms. Emma talked to Andrew and was finally corrected-she must have finally realized that she misinterpreted whatever it was that Andrew told her. It makes enough sense, and Jesse figures that, since there are only two months left in the school year, he can handle the awkward feeling that sits with him constantly until the year ends and Sophia moves on to kindergarten. All he can hope is that he doesn’t become enamored with her kindergarten teacher. He cringes at the thought.
Around eight that evening, after Sophia goes to bed and Jesse is sitting down and turning the TV on, there’s a knock on the door. Jesse frowns but stands up and goes to the door. He wonders briefly who could be at the door and then realizes it’s a stupid question since they rarely have visitors. (It’s usually Sophia’s grandma, but she’s always very good about calling ahead of time, which leaves Jesse with only one other idea in mind of who it could be.) He opens the door and isn’t surprised when it’s Andrew.
“Um, hello,” he says feebly. “Could I maybe come in? I think there’s been, um, a bit of a misunderstanding, maybe?”
“Yeah,” Jesse says. He pulls the door open all the way so Andrew comes in and adds, “Um, maybe.”
Once Andrew gets in, he goes with Jesse to the couch and has a seat. “Oh-nice nail polish,” he says before anything else and tries to refrain from giggling. “It quite suits you.”
“Ha, ha,” Jesse says, and then, “Sophia’s idea. I forgot the nail polish remover at the pharmacy.”
“No worries,” Andrew tells him. “It’s lovely.” He laughs at Jesse expense for a moment but then Jesse sort of joins in, because it is kind of funny. Abruptly, silence settles in between the two of them and Andrew waits a moment before he clears his throat and says, “So, I talked with Emma this afternoon.”
“Oh yeah?” Jesse asks, trying not to sound too anxious.
“Yeah. She said-well, remember the night I babysat for Sophia?” Jesse nods-he still remembers it way too well. “And how I kissed you?”
“Right,” Jesse says. “That’s what Ms.-uh, that’s what Emma said. Only I’m pretty sure it was me that kissed you.”
Andrew says, “That’s what Emma told me you said. That’s where the miscommunication is. Somewhere within that night.” Jesse nods tersely and tries to ignore how his palms are sweaty and he’s feeling a little shaky. He wonders where this is going. “So, since it turns out that we both had the intention of kissing that night, I was thinking that, maybe, if you wanted, we could try it again.”
“We could do that,” Jesse says.
“Only…try not to kick me out this time.”
Andrew laughs to himself but Jesse says with a straight face, “I’ll, uh, do my best.”
He wipes his palms on his thighs and takes a deep breath and before he has time to think anything else Andrew is kissing him and, soon enough, he’s kissing back.
It all goes very quickly and Andrew says afterwards, “Since tomorrow is a Saturday and all, what do you say Emma watches Sophia for a little bit while we go get coffee?”
Jesse nods frantically and says, “That-that would be nice.” Andrew laughs effortlessly and kisses Jesse again.
The end.
: :
Epilogue:
Jesse and Andrew date for a short while without Sophia knowing before Andrew begins insisting that they let her know. Jesse insists the opposite, trying to explain to him that it’s going to be weird for her preschool teacher to also be her dad’s boyfriend.
Andrew says, “Fair enough,” and then asks, “Well, what if we wait until summer, once she’s graduated, and then tell her?”
“No,” Jesse tells him. “That’s just as bad. You’re still then the only teacher she’ll have ever had-besides her old one, but that doesn’t count because she didn’t connect with her nearly as much as you.”
“So, we still can’t tell her,” Andrew states, sounding a little frustrated.
“No, not yet. But as soon as she gets into kindergarten we can tell her.”
Andrew goes on to insist that she probably wouldn’t care either way. Jesse knows with certainty that she wouldn’t. It’s more that he cares, for his own weird reasons, and he tries to explain this to Andrew, who never quite understands but is clearly willing to compromise, because they agree to wait until her first day.
It’s surprising and horribly scary to Jesse that he’s suddenly the father of a five-year-old kindergartner. The first day of school comes along amazingly quickly. For two weeks before it, it’s the only thing Sophia talks about (it’s also the only thing Andrew talks about, only for different reasons). Jesse is absolutely horrified by the thought of his daughter growing up. He knows it’s cliché, but it’s almost impossible to ignore the fact that it’s true.
He lets Sophia get before school starts her first backpack-Dora, her new obsession. She learns to count to ten in Spanish and then tries to teach Sancho, explaining that, “They speak Spanish in Don Quixote, so Sancho wants to learn it.” Jesse asks her if she’s going to teach George Spanish, too. She asks, “Do they speak Spanish in Harry Potter?” Jesse tells her that they don’t, and she says, “We’ll see then, okay? Maybe.” He laughs and tells her okay and googles numbers eleven through twenty to start teaching her.
Then it’s the first day of school and Jesse still can’t believe it. He takes her into her classes and Andrew goes back to his preschool to teach his new preschool class. Jesse stops there to see him that afternoon-kindergarten gets out about half an hour later than the preschool does. Andrew smiles and makes sure with Emma that it’s okay that he’s leaving. She says it’s fine-there are only three kids left, so Jesse is sure that Andrew had few doubts she’d say otherwise. She very clearly knows it’s Sophia’s first day, and what’s happening afterward, because she shouts to Jesse and Andrew on their way out, “Good luck, boys!” They both thank her, but Andrew assures Jesse that there won’t be any luck required.
Once they get to Sophia’s kindergarten, they see her waiting in her classroom with her backpack. She’s grinning widely (Jesse feared that she was going to have a whole new case of separation anxiety) and absolutely leaps up once she sees Andrew there with Jesse.
She asks a few questions at first (“Why is he here? How long is he going to stay? Can I show him the art I made today?”) and then gets distracted with talking about her first day of school and how it was “perfect!” Jesse and Andrew both listen and comment now and again and eventually they get back to Jesse’s and she eats a snack and then starts asking questions about Andrew again.
They try to give Sophia the most appropriate explanation possible, and Sophia says, “So you’re dating?” Jesse is absolutely horrified when she says that, eyes wide and suddenly wondering who taught her such a term.
Andrew says, like it isn’t the scariest thing he’s ever heard, “Yes. Exactly.”
“That’s good,” Sophia states. “I like you and Daddy likes you. He’s always talking about how flawless you are and I asked him what flawless meant once and he said it means perfect. I think you’re flawless too so it’s ok if you and Daddy want to date.”
Andrew sort of beams at Jesse, and Jesse is suddenly blushing and wondering why he defined flawless for his daughter and blushes some more. Andrew laughs and says, “You’re flawless too, don’t worry.” Jesse can’t say he agrees so he laughs and lets Andrew give him a quick kiss.
“Ewww,” Sophia says, and squirms a little before running away giggling. Andrew and Jesse laugh and everything has turned out to be so nice and perfect that Jesse can’t help but smile even wider.
part one