......wow......
First off, please if anyones name is mentioned..dont get pissed off and what not..please just kind of let it go? We all have been through so much already dont put more on this situation...please I beg of you....please.
x0xatarisx0x: eerr
I 0bsessed I: whats wrong
x0xatarisx0x: now im in like a fucking horrible mood
I 0bsessed I: yea
x0xatarisx0x: rannsgkdf
I 0bsessed I: ?
x0xatarisx0x: thank god i'm out of that stupid ass middle school
x0xatarisx0x: i fucking hate each and every one of those fuckers
x0xatarisx0x: and now sarah doesn't even wanna be my fucking friend
I 0bsessed I: ?
x0xatarisx0x: and just the thought of u and that bitch hanging out
x0xatarisx0x: and denessa is all sad
x0xatarisx0x: and now i'm sad
x0xatarisx0x: and steve is bitching at my mom all thee time
x0xatarisx0x: stupid school... stupid people
x0xatarisx0x: u know when u met my counsilor?
I 0bsessed I: yea
x0xatarisx0x: that was the first time i had talked to her in a month or so
x0xatarisx0x: and even after that i only talked to her once and i had too because we had to settle an unexcused absense
x0xatarisx0x: i trusted her and she meant soo much to me
x0xatarisx0x: and then all of a sudden.. she has to be a bitch and denie every time tempest came down to her office
I 0bsessed I: ?
x0xatarisx0x: now the stupid ass school even changed the court place to port huron so our witnesses and supporters will have a harder time getting there
x0xatarisx0x: i hate them
x0xatarisx0x: i fucking hate them
x0xatarisx0x: its all their fault for letting all those stupid ass little bitchass kids tease her
x0xatarisx0x: and now shes dead
x0xatarisx0x: and its all her fault
I 0bsessed I: you should not get your self all worked up
x0xatarisx0x: ok
x0xatarisx0x: lets see... what if carrin shot michael
x0xatarisx0x: and then denied it
I 0bsessed I: ?
x0xatarisx0x: would u get worked up????
x0xatarisx0x: it would be all his fault that ur friend was dead
I 0bsessed I: I am just trying to calm you down.
x0xatarisx0x: i hate this
I 0bsessed I: dont you go and lash out at me again. Just try and calm down
x0xatarisx0x: y do kids have to be such asses?
I 0bsessed I: because they dont know better.
x0xatarisx0x: well then y are adults such asses? they fucking know better but no... they sit on their ass and say
"kids will be kids"
x0xatarisx0x: fuck them
I 0bsessed I: I dont have answers to those questions
I 0bsessed I: I dont know
x0xatarisx0x: y are u suddenly friends with omgea again?
I 0bsessed I: when we broke up, me and her talked a lot cause she was pretty much the only person who wanted to hear me
x0xatarisx0x: yea bc she was probably jumping for fuckin joy that u broke up with me
I 0bsessed I: you know what I dont want to talk about this. cause its not going to lead anywhere
x0xatarisx0x: errrr
x0xatarisx0x: no
x0xatarisx0x: i'm sick of "not talking"
I 0bsessed I: ?
x0xatarisx0x: we're gonna fucking talk about it
I 0bsessed I: you go RIGHT ahead
x0xatarisx0x: how the hell can u just suddenly becomes friends with her again and all that shit that she put u and me through?
I 0bsessed I: Because we talked.
I 0bsessed I: And became friends again, and she cared and was there for me.
x0xatarisx0x: if she was ur true friend she never would have ditched u in the first place
I 0bsessed I: I really dont want to talk about this. its pointless.
I 0bsessed I: its not going to lead to anything.
x0xatarisx0x: fine
I 0bsessed I: what do you want to acomplish after this talk?
x0xatarisx0x: i just wanna know how u can let urself be friends with such a bitch
I 0bsessed I: its just how it is...She has always been there for me. she was just to afraid at one point
x0xatarisx0x: afraid????????
I 0bsessed I: yes..?
x0xatarisx0x: what the hell is that supposed to mean?
I 0bsessed I: there was a time when she was scared to talk to me cause I was acting different
x0xatarisx0x: she fucking befriended you because u dumped one of her friends
x0xatarisx0x: how is she supposed to be a true friend if she does that
I 0bsessed I: why are you questioning my answers...you wanted to know wand I told you why.
x0xatarisx0x: just cuz robert dumps allison and hurts the hell out or her... i still hear both sides... nothing can ever come between the love i have for my friends
x0xatarisx0x: well its a stupid ass reason
x0xatarisx0x: and i think ur just setting urself up for losing another friend again
I 0bsessed I: well thank you.
I 0bsessed I: I really dont care anymore
x0xatarisx0x: care about what?
I 0bsessed I: not much
x0xatarisx0x: do u care about me?
I 0bsessed I: yes
I 0bsessed I: but you upset me sometimes.
x0xatarisx0x: i know
x0xatarisx0x: and u upset me sometimes too
I 0bsessed I: do you call this "working out"
x0xatarisx0x: i'm sorry
x0xatarisx0x: i just hate her
I 0bsessed I: and I know this.
x0xatarisx0x: and the thought that u can still care about someone that fucking hurt me is i dunno... i just think its crazy
I 0bsessed I: but why should your hate for her have to mess up our relationship
x0xatarisx0x: because.... i'd just think that because she hurt me u'd feel my pain and fell the same way
x0xatarisx0x: *feel
I 0bsessed I: I understand why you are mad, but I am not going to leave her like she left me, we have been through a lot, and I know she cares for me and I care for her...she is part of the little I have left
x0xatarisx0x: u did fine without her bruce
I 0bsessed I: dont try to put these thoughts in my head...You are trying to make me not friends with he
I 0bsessed I: r
x0xatarisx0x: well if it were the other way around i wouldn't even think of talking to someone that hurt you
I 0bsessed I: ok.
x0xatarisx0x: i just cant believe u don't feel the same way
I 0bsessed I: she is the closest friend I have here with me
x0xatarisx0x: u said that eric was ur best friend
I 0bsessed I: he was like my best friend I said.
I 0bsessed I: he isn't, we dont even talk about much of anything.
x0xatarisx0x: i wouldn't care who it was bruce
x0xatarisx0x: if they hurt you like she hurt me
x0xatarisx0x: i would never even look their way again
I 0bsessed I: I would I am that forgiving, sorry.
x0xatarisx0x: god.... i don't know what to do now
x0xatarisx0x: i'm so fucking confused
I 0bsessed I: why.
x0xatarisx0x: cuz... i love you more than fucking anything
x0xatarisx0x: and i hate not know that ur min
x0xatarisx0x: e
I 0bsessed I: I am yours?
x0xatarisx0x: uh huh
I 0bsessed I: Yea.
I 0bsessed I: then whats the problem.
x0xatarisx0x: but it fucking kills me that ur friends with her
I 0bsessed I: sorry.
x0xatarisx0x: so u would rather hurt me this way.... than to just get rid of a friend that hurt you and u did fine without?
I 0bsessed I: dont you dare make me have to make a choice between You and her.
x0xatarisx0x: and u don't understand y i question if u care about me?
x0xatarisx0x: i'm thinking about it bruce
I 0bsessed I: Well you just think about it.
x0xatarisx0x: errr
x0xatarisx0x: i fucking hate this
x0xatarisx0x: things aren't being fair
x0xatarisx0x: really bruce.... do u love me?
I 0bsessed I: YES GOD DAMMIT
x0xatarisx0x: and is it in a different way than all ur friends and what not?
I 0bsessed I: Yes.
I 0bsessed I: if you say you trust me, why do you not trust my choices...
x0xatarisx0x: its not that
x0xatarisx0x: its just that it hurts me that u can be friends with her after she hurt me like that
x0xatarisx0x: and you could care less if i'm hurting or not
I 0bsessed I: besides you, she is all I have
I 0bsessed I: if I lost you...what would I be left with?
I 0bsessed I: not much
x0xatarisx0x: u might just lose me now bruce.... i just don't know
I 0bsessed I: so dump me again, all I do is hurt you.
x0xatarisx0x: see... you know that ur hurting me though....
x0xatarisx0x: and still u do it
x0xatarisx0x: and i can't stand seeing u in pain
x0xatarisx0x: but you can just sit their and now care
I 0bsessed I: I need to hold on to what I have.
x0xatarisx0x: then y don't u try to hold on to me for a change?
I 0bsessed I: I am holding on to you.
x0xatarisx0x: instead of giving up so easily
x0xatarisx0x: no ur not
I 0bsessed I: but you are pushing away
x0xatarisx0x: i am not!
I 0bsessed I: dont you tell me I am not trying.
x0xatarisx0x: ur pushing me away
x0xatarisx0x: yes you are
I 0bsessed I: no I am not.
x0xatarisx0x: i fucking tell you that ur hurting me
x0xatarisx0x: and ur not doing shit about it
I 0bsessed I: how does it hurt you.
I 0bsessed I: ?how?
x0xatarisx0x: cuz she hurt me bruce... really fucking bad..... and i would think u would feel my pain... and and feel the same way about her... but you don't... and you wanna still be with her
I 0bsessed I: and how does that hurt you.
I 0bsessed I: you will never even hear of her.
x0xatarisx0x: because you can be friends with someone that hurt me
x0xatarisx0x: i don't care
x0xatarisx0x: i know that ur going to be with her
x0xatarisx0x: thats how it hurts
I 0bsessed I: I have known her since 6th grade and she is always there if I am i need someone, I am not leaving her just like that.
x0xatarisx0x: well she left you just like that
I 0bsessed I: she left because I fucked up.l
x0xatarisx0x: shows how much she cares about you
x0xatarisx0x: u fucked up by being with me??????????????
x0xatarisx0x: if that is fucking up
x0xatarisx0x: then i really don't wanna be with you
I 0bsessed I: There was more to it, then just that.
I 0bsessed I: I fucked up because I got high with eric.
I 0bsessed I: Word got round, and then Nadja and Omega went off cause I was not being myself.
I 0bsessed I: they said that iwent crazy
x0xatarisx0x: i still don't care.... i don't like her
I 0bsessed I: She left me for a reason.
x0xatarisx0x: its not even fucking about that
x0xatarisx0x: errr
I 0bsessed I: Then what is it about.
x0xatarisx0x: its that she hurt me
I 0bsessed I: your hate for each other.
x0xatarisx0x: and you don't care
I 0bsessed I: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN I DONT CARE!
I 0bsessed I: I FUCKING CARE
I 0bsessed I: I STAND UP FOR YOU!
I 0bsessed I: WHENEVER WE TALK ABOUT THAT WHOLE THING!
I 0bsessed I: AND I TELL HER HOW MUCH I FUCKING LOVE YOU
I 0bsessed I: AND THEN YOU COME OUT AND TELL ME I DONT FuCKING CARE?!
I 0bsessed I: AND TRY TO MAKE ME PICK BETWEEN THE 2 OF YOU!
x0xatarisx0x: don't yell at me
x0xatarisx0x: she hurt me
x0xatarisx0x: end of story
x0xatarisx0x: i couldn't sleep all that week
x0xatarisx0x: i cried for fucking hours
x0xatarisx0x: because someone hated me and they didn't have any reason
x0xatarisx0x: someone wanted to fucking "bash my head in" and they didn't even know me
x0xatarisx0x: she hurt me.... i never had anything against her until then
x0xatarisx0x: i didn't even have anything against coco
I 0bsessed I: so then they are the imature ones.
I 0bsessed I: just know that.
x0xatarisx0x: and yes... i do see u being friends with someone that fucking put me in such a depressed state as you not caring
x0xatarisx0x: i just wish you did
I 0bsessed I: Dont tell me I dont care.
x0xatarisx0x: if you cared u wouldn't be friends with someone that hurt me like that bruce
I 0bsessed I: I care about you and I care about her. i AM NOT leaving either of you like that
I 0bsessed I: by you making me have to pick between the 2 of you is not right.
x0xatarisx0x: it may not be right
x0xatarisx0x: but i just can't see myself with you if ur friends with her
I 0bsessed I: well we are friends, and that is how it is. I am not leaving her like that. I know she hurt you, and I am sorry for that. I can't control it. But I can't leave my friend who has been there for me when I really needed her.
x0xatarisx0x: well she wasn't there from november until last month or so.... and u had a lot of things going on then that u needed her... and she wasn't there
x0xatarisx0x: do u even remember the things she said to me??????
x0xatarisx0x: do you?
I 0bsessed I: yes. I do remember
x0xatarisx0x: she might as well have just kicked my ass right there
x0xatarisx0x: cuz the pain couldn't have gotten any fucking worse
I 0bsessed I: I told you this conversation would lead no where but into this shit again
x0xatarisx0x: if I saw you on the street I would probably bash you face into a
brick wall multiple times bc I wouldn't be able to control the rage I
feel when I see your face.
I 0bsessed I: I know what she said.
x0xatarisx0x: Let me tell you, YOU ARE THE HOME BREAKER
x0xatarisx0x: i don't think u did
I 0bsessed I: well i did.
x0xatarisx0x: how can u just pick her over me bruce??????
I 0bsessed I: I am not picking her over me
I 0bsessed I: you*
x0xatarisx0x: ?
x0xatarisx0x: if i gave u an ultimatum you would
x0xatarisx0x: u just said you wouldn't get rid of her
I 0bsessed I: dont you fucking make me pick like that its so fucked up and wrong
x0xatarisx0x: but you would
x0xatarisx0x: after u tell me that u love me more than fucking anything and we go through so much shit together.... you would pick some bitch that hurt the hell out of me... over me
I 0bsessed I: I would not
x0xatarisx0x: then i want her gone.... and if not i want to meet the bitch and i want things to get right between us
x0xatarisx0x: those are ur options
x0xatarisx0x: otherwise
x0xatarisx0x: i'm out
x0xatarisx0x: and i want her to apologize
I 0bsessed I: I am not picking between you two
x0xatarisx0x: then what are you gonna do?
I 0bsessed I: sit here and do nothing
x0xatarisx0x: she is either going to have to like me or i'm gonna go fucking kill myself cuz i can't have you..... i'm sick of all this shit
I 0bsessed I: YOU FUCKING HAVE ME!
x0xatarisx0x: no
x0xatarisx0x: cuz u have to pick or we are over
x0xatarisx0x: i'm telling you right now
I 0bsessed I: No, I am not picking
x0xatarisx0x: well you have to.....
x0xatarisx0x: you have ur three choices
I 0bsessed I: no I dont
x0xatarisx0x: i even gave u a fucking extra choice bruce
x0xatarisx0x: and if u sit there and u don't pick
x0xatarisx0x: then i'm gone....
I 0bsessed I: I am not letting you go, so i am not picking
x0xatarisx0x: i refuse to grow up without you
x0xatarisx0x: so i'm out bruce
x0xatarisx0x: just tell me that u love me and i'll leave
I 0bsessed I: I CANT FUCKING DO THIS SHIT!
I 0bsessed I: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!!!! I FUCKING LOVE YOU WHY CANT YOU UNDERSTAND THAT! WHY! I FUCKING LOVE YOU MORE THEN ANYTHING! WHY CANT YOU JUST SEE THAT! I!!!
x0xatarisx0x: if you love me more than anything u wouldnt mind getting rid of her
I 0bsessed I: I AM NOT LETTING YOU MAKE ME PICK YOU OVER MY FRIENDS LIKE THAT!
I 0bsessed I: ITS NOT RIGHT!
I 0bsessed I: DO THE RIGHT THING!
I 0bsessed I: DONT MAKE ME FUCKING MAKE A CHOICE LIKE THAT!
x0xatarisx0x: i told you ur choices.... you pick her... and i'll go fucking die.... and u can just forget about me.... choice number 2.... you can pick me... and you just don't talk to her unless you absolutely have to..... and ur last choice is to make the bitch like me and for her to apologize
x0xatarisx0x: and if u can't pick one
x0xatarisx0x: then i'm gonna think u picked the first one
x0xatarisx0x: and i'll do what i have to do
I 0bsessed I: SHE DOESNT EVEN FUCKING HATE YOU!
x0xatarisx0x: she told me she hates me bruce
x0xatarisx0x: so yes yes she does
I 0bsessed I: SHE TOLD ME SHE DOES NOT HATE YOU SHE GOT CARRIED AWAY!
I 0bsessed I: DONT YOU DARE FUCKING MAKE ME PICK CAUSE I AM NOT!
x0xatarisx0x: well then i wanna fucking hear it
I 0bsessed I: AND DONT YOU ASSUME A DAMN THING
x0xatarisx0x: no
I 0bsessed I: CAUSE THIS IS SO FUCKING WRONG OF YOU.
x0xatarisx0x: i don't care bruce
I 0bsessed I: well I DO
I 0bsessed I: cause this is FUCKED up
x0xatarisx0x: i even gave u the choice to let me meet her
x0xatarisx0x: and u still don't even wanna do that
I 0bsessed I: you 2 should not even be involved with each other.
I 0bsessed I: Live your lives.
x0xatarisx0x: no
x0xatarisx0x: these are ur choices bruce
x0xatarisx0x: you have 5 more minutes to decide
I 0bsessed I: FUCK! NO!
x0xatarisx0x: or i'm going to assume u picked the first one
I 0bsessed I: DONT YOU FUCKING ASSUME ANYTHING!
I 0bsessed I: You are fucking this up and I DONT SEE WHY!
I 0bsessed I: WHY?!
x0xatarisx0x: i just took the past 30 minutes to tell you why bruce
I 0bsessed I: And it MAKES NO SENSE
I 0bsessed I: JUST LIVE WITHOUT HER!
I 0bsessed I: WHICH YOU ARE!
I 0bsessed I: YOU DONT HAVE TO SEE HER
I 0bsessed I: you dont need to hear from her
x0xatarisx0x: no
I 0bsessed I: she does not exist to you.
x0xatarisx0x: cuz you will
I 0bsessed I: so what
x0xatarisx0x: and i know you will be with her
x0xatarisx0x: and talking to her
x0xatarisx0x: someone that fucking hurt me
x0xatarisx0x: hurt me really really really fucking bad
x0xatarisx0x: and never even told me they were sorry
I 0bsessed I: if I was even to pick you over her, you would have hurt me by making me pick, AND HOW WOULD I BE ABLE TO be with you then???
I 0bsessed I: THERE IS NO FUCKINg RIGHT WAY OUT OF THIS!
x0xatarisx0x: make her apologize then
I 0bsessed I: there is NO right way.
x0xatarisx0x: thats all i want
x0xatarisx0x: you have 3 more minutes
I 0bsessed I: I am not picking if you want her to apologize
I 0bsessed I: ask her yourself.
x0xatarisx0x: please don't come to my funeral
x0xatarisx0x: i'd rather u didn't
I 0bsessed I: Shut your fucking mouth with that shit.
x0xatarisx0x: 2 more minutes
I 0bsessed I: ASK HER YOUR SELF FOR AN APOLOGY!
I 0bsessed I: You dont need me to do it for you
x0xatarisx0x: no
I 0bsessed I: YES!
x0xatarisx0x: i'm leaving it up to you
x0xatarisx0x: and ur running out of time
I 0bsessed I: dont you fucking do this to me.
x0xatarisx0x: its to late
I 0bsessed I: dont you fucking do this to me.
x0xatarisx0x: u have 2 minutes bruce
I 0bsessed I: shtu the hell up
I 0bsessed I: dont you do this to me.
x0xatarisx0x: i'm doing it
x0xatarisx0x: 1 minute bruce
I 0bsessed I: dont you dare fucking do this to me,
x0xatarisx0x: i don't wanna die
x0xatarisx0x: don't you fucking make me do it
I 0bsessed I: dont you fucking do this.
I 0bsessed I: I am not making you do anything.
x0xatarisx0x: ur running out of time
I 0bsessed I: dont you do this.
x0xatarisx0x: all u have to do is pick something
x0xatarisx0x: you have about 30 seconds
I 0bsessed I: ASK HER YOUR SELF FOR A GOD DAMN APOLOGY!
I 0bsessed I: YOU DONT NEED ME!
x0xatarisx0x: not one of the choices bruce
x0xatarisx0x: and ur out of time
I 0bsessed I: SETTLE YOUR PROBLEMS
x0xatarisx0x: i love you so much
I 0bsessed I: no you dont.
x0xatarisx0x: i just wish this came out a little easier
I 0bsessed I: if you did you would not be doing this
x0xatarisx0x: i can't be with you if ur with her bruce
I 0bsessed I: dont you tell me you love me after all of that.
x0xatarisx0x: its thats simple
x0xatarisx0x: bye
I 0bsessed I: you dont love me thats why you dont want to be with me.
x0xatarisx0x: i love you more than anything bruce
I 0bsessed I: if you truley loved me....you would have not done this.
I 0bsessed I: you are not trying.
x0xatarisx0x: well... thats for you to decide
I 0bsessed I: you are giving up
I 0bsessed I: YOU are giving up
x0xatarisx0x: so i give up
I 0bsessed I: Why?
I 0bsessed I: for what?
x0xatarisx0x: because
x0xatarisx0x: i gave u a choice
x0xatarisx0x: and i'd rather die than not be with you
I 0bsessed I: because you dont love me.
x0xatarisx0x: its just to hard
x0xatarisx0x: fine then
x0xatarisx0x: think what u want
I 0bsessed I: you gave me a choice why?
x0xatarisx0x: it doesn't matter know
I 0bsessed I: why?
x0xatarisx0x: because
I 0bsessed I: why would you even do that?
x0xatarisx0x: i just told you
I 0bsessed I: you can settle things yourself
x0xatarisx0x: no
x0xatarisx0x: she is ur friend
I 0bsessed I: Some things are messed up and sometimes you need to settle thing sometimes they can't be settled
I 0bsessed I: and you are my lover.
x0xatarisx0x: all i want
I 0bsessed I: I fucking love you and you go and try to make me pick between the 2
x0xatarisx0x: is a goddamn apology bruce
I 0bsessed I: so go ask for one.
I 0bsessed I: You want her to apologize...so ask..
x0xatarisx0x: no
I 0bsessed I: its that simple
x0xatarisx0x: no
I 0bsessed I: you want me.. to ask her to apologize.
x0xatarisx0x: yes
x0xatarisx0x: thats it
I 0bsessed I: why.
x0xatarisx0x: and u can't do that
x0xatarisx0x: u would rather sit there
x0xatarisx0x: and watch me fucking die
x0xatarisx0x: and you are saying that I don't love you
x0xatarisx0x: ha
I 0bsessed I: I will ask her for the apology.
x0xatarisx0x: thats all i wanted
x0xatarisx0x: but... if i don't get it
x0xatarisx0x: then all this shit starts up all over again
I 0bsessed I: But I can truthfully say, that after what you just put me through...
I 0bsessed I: you fucked me over.
I 0bsessed I: and I dont want to talk to you untill I think about this whole thing.
x0xatarisx0x: no
x0xatarisx0x: no
x0xatarisx0x: no
x0xatarisx0x: no
x0xatarisx0x: no
x0xatarisx0x: nothing i ever do is fucking right
x0xatarisx0x: so just fuck it
I 0bsessed I: you knew this was wrong
x0xatarisx0x: and dump me
I 0bsessed I: you said it yourself
I 0bsessed I: I am not dumpng you.
x0xatarisx0x: no
I 0bsessed I: I am just taking time to think about this
x0xatarisx0x: cnd;og.,km9
x0xatarisx0x: no
I 0bsessed I: no what?
x0xatarisx0x: u have to stay here with me before i go do something stupid..... cuz i'm in a fucking bad mood now
I 0bsessed I: i am right here if you need to talk.
I 0bsessed I: but I am not in solid mind to really talk cause I am thinking of other things.
x0xatarisx0x: it doesn't matter
I 0bsessed I: I just said I am RIGHT HERE
I 0bsessed I: But I am telling you right now.
I 0bsessed I: I am not in solid mind.
x0xatarisx0x: i wanna call you
x0xatarisx0x: ok
I 0bsessed I: My step dad is on the phone with some friend watching the hockey game.
x0xatarisx0x: errrrrrrrrrr
x0xatarisx0x: because i was hurting... i hurt you
x0xatarisx0x: thats bullshit
I 0bsessed I: You fucking made me make a choice.
I 0bsessed I: I did not want to make, and you fucking hurt me.
x0xatarisx0x: well... it was either that or i'm gonna hurt
I 0bsessed I: and look who I put over my own well being.
x0xatarisx0x: so i either made you make a choice... which could have been really simple....or i just went on hurting
I 0bsessed I: you made me make the hardest choice of my life.
x0xatarisx0x: i'm sorry
x0xatarisx0x: ok?
I 0bsessed I: not really, not yet at least.
x0xatarisx0x: ?
I 0bsessed I: I have to think about this whole thing
x0xatarisx0x: what do u mean?
I 0bsessed I: I HAVE TO THINK ABOUT THIS
x0xatarisx0x: what about it?
I 0bsessed I: just let me think
I 0bsessed I: dont question it.just let me think
x0xatarisx0x: call me when ur step dad gets off the phone please
I 0bsessed I: I dont know.
x0xatarisx0x: oh god...
x0xatarisx0x: bruce...
x0xatarisx0x: what else was i supposed to do?
I 0bsessed I: you could have, 1.) asked her for an apology yourself 2.) just lived your life without even hearing of her ever again 3.) made me NOT make a choice between 2 people I care about
I 0bsessed I: I mean there are just many choices there
x0xatarisx0x: no bruce
I 0bsessed I: yes. candace
x0xatarisx0x: cuz if i would have done those last two i would have kept on hurting myself
I 0bsessed I: so then pick number 1.
x0xatarisx0x: ur not even acknowledging that
x0xatarisx0x: no
I 0bsessed I: dont you fucking tell me what I am and what I am not doing.
x0xatarisx0x: this has just as much to do with you as it does with me and her
x0xatarisx0x: then don't fucking do it bruce
I 0bsessed I: ok..
I 0bsessed I: I have though
I 0bsessed I: t
x0xatarisx0x: ?
x0xatarisx0x: bruce... are you going to ask or not?
I 0bsessed I: she is not online and she is asleep
I 0bsessed I: I am typing something out.
x0xatarisx0x: ok
I 0bsessed I: I love you, and I care for you.....but this relationship has been so much on both of us. I am not sure if we will even make it through this. Our emotions have just been tossed around so much, this all hurts so bad. Its all just so much, and I can't deal with it. I can't. I tried and tried and tried again. I make attempts to get through things (you may say I dont but I do). we may be ment for each other, but if we are why are things not working? its one thing after another...and I really can't take it...I dont know what to do, I dont want to be without you. but at the same time i think it would be better off that way. I dont want you to kill yourself.....I could not live with that.....how, how can we get through this? how.... even if things go your way, I would still look back on this and just think how you could do something that I feel was so wrong to me. We do more damage then good for each other.
x0xatarisx0x: so u just wanna end it?
I 0bsessed I: I dont know anymore.
I 0bsessed I: i dont want you to die.
x0xatarisx0x: njwbnokn'gs
x0xatarisx0x: fuck you
x0xatarisx0x: fuck you
x0xatarisx0x: and damn you to hell
x0xatarisx0x: and fucking try ok
I 0bsessed I: try what?
x0xatarisx0x: you can't expect things to be fucking great ok
x0xatarisx0x: *and i fucking try
x0xatarisx0x: i'm sooooo goddamned sorry i'm not perfect
I 0bsessed I: I have tried and tried and tried to work things out with you, we have both tried..
I 0bsessed I: and we always end up
I 0bsessed I: RIGHT HERE AGAIN AND AGAIN!
x0xatarisx0x: no
x0xatarisx0x: ngfjs;
x0xatarisx0x: fuck you
I 0bsessed I: ok
x0xatarisx0x: i hope you die bruce
x0xatarisx0x: i swear to god i hate you
I 0bsessed I: so hate me then.
x0xatarisx0x: i fucking lost my virginity to you you asshole
I 0bsessed I: and I lost mine to you.
x0xatarisx0x: fuck you
x0xatarisx0x: i never ever ever wanna talk to you again
I 0bsessed I: well then, good bye and good night..I love you. I truely do.
x0xatarisx0x: i don't believe you
x0xatarisx0x: and i never will again
I 0bsessed I: you dont have to
x0xatarisx0x: leave me alone
I 0bsessed I: block me.
I 0bsessed I: its the only way I will leave you.
x0xatarisx0x signed off at 10:54:47 PM.
so much, tonight.
x0xatarisx0x: eerr
I 0bsessed I: whats wrong
x0xatarisx0x: now im in like a fucking horrible mood
I 0bsessed I: yea
x0xatarisx0x: rannsgkdf
I 0bsessed I: ?
x0xatarisx0x: thank god i'm out of that stupid ass middle school
x0xatarisx0x: i fucking hate each and every one of those fuckers
x0xatarisx0x: and now sarah doesn't even wanna be my fucking friend
I 0bsessed I: ?
x0xatarisx0x: and just the thought of u and that bitch hanging out
x0xatarisx0x: and denessa is all sad
x0xatarisx0x: and now i'm sad
x0xatarisx0x: and steve is bitching at my mom all thee time
x0xatarisx0x: stupid school... stupid people
x0xatarisx0x: u know when u met my counsilor?
I 0bsessed I: yea
x0xatarisx0x: that was the first time i had talked to her in a month or so
x0xatarisx0x: and even after that i only talked to her once and i had too because we had to settle an unexcused absense
x0xatarisx0x: i trusted her and she meant soo much to me
x0xatarisx0x: and then all of a sudden.. she has to be a bitch and denie every time tempest came down to her office
I 0bsessed I: ?
x0xatarisx0x: now the stupid ass school even changed the court place to port huron so our witnesses and supporters will have a harder time getting there
x0xatarisx0x: i hate them
x0xatarisx0x: i fucking hate them
x0xatarisx0x: its all their fault for letting all those stupid ass little bitchass kids tease her
x0xatarisx0x: and now shes dead
x0xatarisx0x: and its all her fault
I 0bsessed I: you should not get your self all worked up
x0xatarisx0x: ok
x0xatarisx0x: lets see... what if carrin shot michael
x0xatarisx0x: and then denied it
I 0bsessed I: ?
x0xatarisx0x: would u get worked up????
x0xatarisx0x: it would be all his fault that ur friend was dead
I 0bsessed I: I am just trying to calm you down.
x0xatarisx0x: i hate this
I 0bsessed I: dont you go and lash out at me again. Just try and calm down
x0xatarisx0x: y do kids have to be such asses?
I 0bsessed I: because they dont know better.
x0xatarisx0x: well then y are adults such asses? they fucking know better but no... they sit on their ass and say
"kids will be kids"
x0xatarisx0x: fuck them
I 0bsessed I: I dont have answers to those questions
I 0bsessed I: I dont know
x0xatarisx0x: y are u suddenly friends with omgea again?
I 0bsessed I: when we broke up, me and her talked a lot cause she was pretty much the only person who wanted to hear me
x0xatarisx0x: yea bc she was probably jumping for fuckin joy that u broke up with me
I 0bsessed I: you know what I dont want to talk about this. cause its not going to lead anywhere
x0xatarisx0x: errrr
x0xatarisx0x: no
x0xatarisx0x: i'm sick of "not talking"
I 0bsessed I: ?
x0xatarisx0x: we're gonna fucking talk about it
I 0bsessed I: you go RIGHT ahead
x0xatarisx0x: how the hell can u just suddenly becomes friends with her again and all that shit that she put u and me through?
I 0bsessed I: Because we talked.
I 0bsessed I: And became friends again, and she cared and was there for me.
x0xatarisx0x: if she was ur true friend she never would have ditched u in the first place
I 0bsessed I: I really dont want to talk about this. its pointless.
I 0bsessed I: its not going to lead to anything.
x0xatarisx0x: fine
I 0bsessed I: what do you want to acomplish after this talk?
x0xatarisx0x: i just wanna know how u can let urself be friends with such a bitch
I 0bsessed I: its just how it is...She has always been there for me. she was just to afraid at one point
x0xatarisx0x: afraid????????
I 0bsessed I: yes..?
x0xatarisx0x: what the hell is that supposed to mean?
I 0bsessed I: there was a time when she was scared to talk to me cause I was acting different
x0xatarisx0x: she fucking befriended you because u dumped one of her friends
x0xatarisx0x: how is she supposed to be a true friend if she does that
I 0bsessed I: why are you questioning my answers...you wanted to know wand I told you why.
x0xatarisx0x: just cuz robert dumps allison and hurts the hell out or her... i still hear both sides... nothing can ever come between the love i have for my friends
x0xatarisx0x: well its a stupid ass reason
x0xatarisx0x: and i think ur just setting urself up for losing another friend again
I 0bsessed I: well thank you.
I 0bsessed I: I really dont care anymore
x0xatarisx0x: care about what?
I 0bsessed I: not much
x0xatarisx0x: do u care about me?
I 0bsessed I: yes
I 0bsessed I: but you upset me sometimes.
x0xatarisx0x: i know
x0xatarisx0x: and u upset me sometimes too
I 0bsessed I: do you call this "working out"
x0xatarisx0x: i'm sorry
x0xatarisx0x: i just hate her
I 0bsessed I: and I know this.
x0xatarisx0x: and the thought that u can still care about someone that fucking hurt me is i dunno... i just think its crazy
I 0bsessed I: but why should your hate for her have to mess up our relationship
x0xatarisx0x: because.... i'd just think that because she hurt me u'd feel my pain and fell the same way
x0xatarisx0x: *feel
I 0bsessed I: I understand why you are mad, but I am not going to leave her like she left me, we have been through a lot, and I know she cares for me and I care for her...she is part of the little I have left
x0xatarisx0x: u did fine without her bruce
I 0bsessed I: dont try to put these thoughts in my head...You are trying to make me not friends with he
I 0bsessed I: r
x0xatarisx0x: well if it were the other way around i wouldn't even think of talking to someone that hurt you
I 0bsessed I: ok.
x0xatarisx0x: i just cant believe u don't feel the same way
I 0bsessed I: she is the closest friend I have here with me
x0xatarisx0x: u said that eric was ur best friend
I 0bsessed I: he was like my best friend I said.
I 0bsessed I: he isn't, we dont even talk about much of anything.
x0xatarisx0x: i wouldn't care who it was bruce
x0xatarisx0x: if they hurt you like she hurt me
x0xatarisx0x: i would never even look their way again
I 0bsessed I: I would I am that forgiving, sorry.
x0xatarisx0x: god.... i don't know what to do now
x0xatarisx0x: i'm so fucking confused
I 0bsessed I: why.
x0xatarisx0x: cuz... i love you more than fucking anything
x0xatarisx0x: and i hate not know that ur min
x0xatarisx0x: e
I 0bsessed I: I am yours?
x0xatarisx0x: uh huh
I 0bsessed I: Yea.
I 0bsessed I: then whats the problem.
x0xatarisx0x: but it fucking kills me that ur friends with her
I 0bsessed I: sorry.
x0xatarisx0x: so u would rather hurt me this way.... than to just get rid of a friend that hurt you and u did fine without?
I 0bsessed I: dont you dare make me have to make a choice between You and her.
x0xatarisx0x: and u don't understand y i question if u care about me?
x0xatarisx0x: i'm thinking about it bruce
I 0bsessed I: Well you just think about it.
x0xatarisx0x: errr
x0xatarisx0x: i fucking hate this
x0xatarisx0x: things aren't being fair
x0xatarisx0x: really bruce.... do u love me?
I 0bsessed I: YES GOD DAMMIT
x0xatarisx0x: and is it in a different way than all ur friends and what not?
I 0bsessed I: Yes.
I 0bsessed I: if you say you trust me, why do you not trust my choices...
x0xatarisx0x: its not that
x0xatarisx0x: its just that it hurts me that u can be friends with her after she hurt me like that
x0xatarisx0x: and you could care less if i'm hurting or not
I 0bsessed I: besides you, she is all I have
I 0bsessed I: if I lost you...what would I be left with?
I 0bsessed I: not much
x0xatarisx0x: u might just lose me now bruce.... i just don't know
I 0bsessed I: so dump me again, all I do is hurt you.
x0xatarisx0x: see... you know that ur hurting me though....
x0xatarisx0x: and still u do it
x0xatarisx0x: and i can't stand seeing u in pain
x0xatarisx0x: but you can just sit their and now care
I 0bsessed I: I need to hold on to what I have.
x0xatarisx0x: then y don't u try to hold on to me for a change?
I 0bsessed I: I am holding on to you.
x0xatarisx0x: instead of giving up so easily
x0xatarisx0x: no ur not
I 0bsessed I: but you are pushing away
x0xatarisx0x: i am not!
I 0bsessed I: dont you tell me I am not trying.
x0xatarisx0x: ur pushing me away
x0xatarisx0x: yes you are
I 0bsessed I: no I am not.
x0xatarisx0x: i fucking tell you that ur hurting me
x0xatarisx0x: and ur not doing shit about it
I 0bsessed I: how does it hurt you.
I 0bsessed I: ?how?
x0xatarisx0x: cuz she hurt me bruce... really fucking bad..... and i would think u would feel my pain... and and feel the same way about her... but you don't... and you wanna still be with her
I 0bsessed I: and how does that hurt you.
I 0bsessed I: you will never even hear of her.
x0xatarisx0x: because you can be friends with someone that hurt me
x0xatarisx0x: i don't care
x0xatarisx0x: i know that ur going to be with her
x0xatarisx0x: thats how it hurts
I 0bsessed I: I have known her since 6th grade and she is always there if I am i need someone, I am not leaving her just like that.
x0xatarisx0x: well she left you just like that
I 0bsessed I: she left because I fucked up.l
x0xatarisx0x: shows how much she cares about you
x0xatarisx0x: u fucked up by being with me??????????????
x0xatarisx0x: if that is fucking up
x0xatarisx0x: then i really don't wanna be with you
I 0bsessed I: There was more to it, then just that.
I 0bsessed I: I fucked up because I got high with eric.
I 0bsessed I: Word got round, and then Nadja and Omega went off cause I was not being myself.
I 0bsessed I: they said that iwent crazy
x0xatarisx0x: i still don't care.... i don't like her
I 0bsessed I: She left me for a reason.
x0xatarisx0x: its not even fucking about that
x0xatarisx0x: errr
I 0bsessed I: Then what is it about.
x0xatarisx0x: its that she hurt me
I 0bsessed I: your hate for each other.
x0xatarisx0x: and you don't care
I 0bsessed I: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN I DONT CARE!
I 0bsessed I: I FUCKING CARE
I 0bsessed I: I STAND UP FOR YOU!
I 0bsessed I: WHENEVER WE TALK ABOUT THAT WHOLE THING!
I 0bsessed I: AND I TELL HER HOW MUCH I FUCKING LOVE YOU
I 0bsessed I: AND THEN YOU COME OUT AND TELL ME I DONT FuCKING CARE?!
I 0bsessed I: AND TRY TO MAKE ME PICK BETWEEN THE 2 OF YOU!
x0xatarisx0x: don't yell at me
x0xatarisx0x: she hurt me
x0xatarisx0x: end of story
x0xatarisx0x: i couldn't sleep all that week
x0xatarisx0x: i cried for fucking hours
x0xatarisx0x: because someone hated me and they didn't have any reason
x0xatarisx0x: someone wanted to fucking "bash my head in" and they didn't even know me
x0xatarisx0x: she hurt me.... i never had anything against her until then
x0xatarisx0x: i didn't even have anything against coco
I 0bsessed I: so then they are the imature ones.
I 0bsessed I: just know that.
x0xatarisx0x: and yes... i do see u being friends with someone that fucking put me in such a depressed state as you not caring
x0xatarisx0x: i just wish you did
I 0bsessed I: Dont tell me I dont care.
x0xatarisx0x: if you cared u wouldn't be friends with someone that hurt me like that bruce
I 0bsessed I: I care about you and I care about her. i AM NOT leaving either of you like that
I 0bsessed I: by you making me have to pick between the 2 of you is not right.
x0xatarisx0x: it may not be right
x0xatarisx0x: but i just can't see myself with you if ur friends with her
I 0bsessed I: well we are friends, and that is how it is. I am not leaving her like that. I know she hurt you, and I am sorry for that. I can't control it. But I can't leave my friend who has been there for me when I really needed her.
x0xatarisx0x: well she wasn't there from november until last month or so.... and u had a lot of things going on then that u needed her... and she wasn't there
x0xatarisx0x: do u even remember the things she said to me??????
x0xatarisx0x: do you?
I 0bsessed I: yes. I do remember
x0xatarisx0x: she might as well have just kicked my ass right there
x0xatarisx0x: cuz the pain couldn't have gotten any fucking worse
I 0bsessed I: I told you this conversation would lead no where but into this shit again
x0xatarisx0x: if I saw you on the street I would probably bash you face into a
brick wall multiple times bc I wouldn't be able to control the rage I
feel when I see your face.
I 0bsessed I: I know what she said.
x0xatarisx0x: Let me tell you, YOU ARE THE HOME BREAKER
x0xatarisx0x: i don't think u did
I 0bsessed I: well i did.
x0xatarisx0x: how can u just pick her over me bruce??????
I 0bsessed I: I am not picking her over me
I 0bsessed I: you*
x0xatarisx0x: ?
x0xatarisx0x: if i gave u an ultimatum you would
x0xatarisx0x: u just said you wouldn't get rid of her
I 0bsessed I: dont you fucking make me pick like that its so fucked up and wrong
x0xatarisx0x: but you would
x0xatarisx0x: after u tell me that u love me more than fucking anything and we go through so much shit together.... you would pick some bitch that hurt the hell out of me... over me
I 0bsessed I: I would not
x0xatarisx0x: then i want her gone.... and if not i want to meet the bitch and i want things to get right between us
x0xatarisx0x: those are ur options
x0xatarisx0x: otherwise
x0xatarisx0x: i'm out
x0xatarisx0x: and i want her to apologize
I 0bsessed I: I am not picking between you two
x0xatarisx0x: then what are you gonna do?
I 0bsessed I: sit here and do nothing
x0xatarisx0x: she is either going to have to like me or i'm gonna go fucking kill myself cuz i can't have you..... i'm sick of all this shit
I 0bsessed I: YOU FUCKING HAVE ME!
x0xatarisx0x: no
x0xatarisx0x: cuz u have to pick or we are over
x0xatarisx0x: i'm telling you right now
I 0bsessed I: No, I am not picking
x0xatarisx0x: well you have to.....
x0xatarisx0x: you have ur three choices
I 0bsessed I: no I dont
x0xatarisx0x: i even gave u a fucking extra choice bruce
x0xatarisx0x: and if u sit there and u don't pick
x0xatarisx0x: then i'm gone....
I 0bsessed I: I am not letting you go, so i am not picking
x0xatarisx0x: i refuse to grow up without you
x0xatarisx0x: so i'm out bruce
x0xatarisx0x: just tell me that u love me and i'll leave
I 0bsessed I: I CANT FUCKING DO THIS SHIT!
I 0bsessed I: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!!!! I FUCKING LOVE YOU WHY CANT YOU UNDERSTAND THAT! WHY! I FUCKING LOVE YOU MORE THEN ANYTHING! WHY CANT YOU JUST SEE THAT! I!!!
x0xatarisx0x: if you love me more than anything u wouldnt mind getting rid of her
I 0bsessed I: I AM NOT LETTING YOU MAKE ME PICK YOU OVER MY FRIENDS LIKE THAT!
I 0bsessed I: ITS NOT RIGHT!
I 0bsessed I: DO THE RIGHT THING!
I 0bsessed I: DONT MAKE ME FUCKING MAKE A CHOICE LIKE THAT!
x0xatarisx0x: i told you ur choices.... you pick her... and i'll go fucking die.... and u can just forget about me.... choice number 2.... you can pick me... and you just don't talk to her unless you absolutely have to..... and ur last choice is to make the bitch like me and for her to apologize
x0xatarisx0x: and if u can't pick one
x0xatarisx0x: then i'm gonna think u picked the first one
x0xatarisx0x: and i'll do what i have to do
I 0bsessed I: SHE DOESNT EVEN FUCKING HATE YOU!
x0xatarisx0x: she told me she hates me bruce
x0xatarisx0x: so yes yes she does
I 0bsessed I: SHE TOLD ME SHE DOES NOT HATE YOU SHE GOT CARRIED AWAY!
I 0bsessed I: DONT YOU DARE FUCKING MAKE ME PICK CAUSE I AM NOT!
x0xatarisx0x: well then i wanna fucking hear it
I 0bsessed I: AND DONT YOU ASSUME A DAMN THING
x0xatarisx0x: no
I 0bsessed I: CAUSE THIS IS SO FUCKING WRONG OF YOU.
x0xatarisx0x: i don't care bruce
I 0bsessed I: well I DO
I 0bsessed I: cause this is FUCKED up
x0xatarisx0x: i even gave u the choice to let me meet her
x0xatarisx0x: and u still don't even wanna do that
I 0bsessed I: you 2 should not even be involved with each other.
I 0bsessed I: Live your lives.
x0xatarisx0x: no
x0xatarisx0x: these are ur choices bruce
x0xatarisx0x: you have 5 more minutes to decide
I 0bsessed I: FUCK! NO!
x0xatarisx0x: or i'm going to assume u picked the first one
I 0bsessed I: DONT YOU FUCKING ASSUME ANYTHING!
I 0bsessed I: You are fucking this up and I DONT SEE WHY!
I 0bsessed I: WHY?!
x0xatarisx0x: i just took the past 30 minutes to tell you why bruce
I 0bsessed I: And it MAKES NO SENSE
I 0bsessed I: JUST LIVE WITHOUT HER!
I 0bsessed I: WHICH YOU ARE!
I 0bsessed I: YOU DONT HAVE TO SEE HER
I 0bsessed I: you dont need to hear from her
x0xatarisx0x: no
I 0bsessed I: she does not exist to you.
x0xatarisx0x: cuz you will
I 0bsessed I: so what
x0xatarisx0x: and i know you will be with her
x0xatarisx0x: and talking to her
x0xatarisx0x: someone that fucking hurt me
x0xatarisx0x: hurt me really really really fucking bad
x0xatarisx0x: and never even told me they were sorry
I 0bsessed I: if I was even to pick you over her, you would have hurt me by making me pick, AND HOW WOULD I BE ABLE TO be with you then???
I 0bsessed I: THERE IS NO FUCKINg RIGHT WAY OUT OF THIS!
x0xatarisx0x: make her apologize then
I 0bsessed I: there is NO right way.
x0xatarisx0x: thats all i want
x0xatarisx0x: you have 3 more minutes
I 0bsessed I: I am not picking if you want her to apologize
I 0bsessed I: ask her yourself.
x0xatarisx0x: please don't come to my funeral
x0xatarisx0x: i'd rather u didn't
I 0bsessed I: Shut your fucking mouth with that shit.
x0xatarisx0x: 2 more minutes
I 0bsessed I: ASK HER YOUR SELF FOR AN APOLOGY!
I 0bsessed I: You dont need me to do it for you
x0xatarisx0x: no
I 0bsessed I: YES!
x0xatarisx0x: i'm leaving it up to you
x0xatarisx0x: and ur running out of time
I 0bsessed I: dont you fucking do this to me.
x0xatarisx0x: its to late
I 0bsessed I: dont you fucking do this to me.
x0xatarisx0x: u have 2 minutes bruce
I 0bsessed I: shtu the hell up
I 0bsessed I: dont you do this to me.
x0xatarisx0x: i'm doing it
x0xatarisx0x: 1 minute bruce
I 0bsessed I: dont you dare fucking do this to me,
x0xatarisx0x: i don't wanna die
x0xatarisx0x: don't you fucking make me do it
I 0bsessed I: dont you fucking do this.
I 0bsessed I: I am not making you do anything.
x0xatarisx0x: ur running out of time
I 0bsessed I: dont you do this.
x0xatarisx0x: all u have to do is pick something
x0xatarisx0x: you have about 30 seconds
I 0bsessed I: ASK HER YOUR SELF FOR A GOD DAMN APOLOGY!
I 0bsessed I: YOU DONT NEED ME!
x0xatarisx0x: not one of the choices bruce
x0xatarisx0x: and ur out of time
I 0bsessed I: SETTLE YOUR PROBLEMS
x0xatarisx0x: i love you so much
I 0bsessed I: no you dont.
x0xatarisx0x: i just wish this came out a little easier
I 0bsessed I: if you did you would not be doing this
x0xatarisx0x: i can't be with you if ur with her bruce
I 0bsessed I: dont you tell me you love me after all of that.
x0xatarisx0x: its thats simple
x0xatarisx0x: bye
I 0bsessed I: you dont love me thats why you dont want to be with me.
x0xatarisx0x: i love you more than anything bruce
I 0bsessed I: if you truley loved me....you would have not done this.
I 0bsessed I: you are not trying.
x0xatarisx0x: well... thats for you to decide
I 0bsessed I: you are giving up
I 0bsessed I: YOU are giving up
x0xatarisx0x: so i give up
I 0bsessed I: Why?
I 0bsessed I: for what?
x0xatarisx0x: because
x0xatarisx0x: i gave u a choice
x0xatarisx0x: and i'd rather die than not be with you
I 0bsessed I: because you dont love me.
x0xatarisx0x: its just to hard
x0xatarisx0x: fine then
x0xatarisx0x: think what u want
I 0bsessed I: you gave me a choice why?
x0xatarisx0x: it doesn't matter know
I 0bsessed I: why?
x0xatarisx0x: because
I 0bsessed I: why would you even do that?
x0xatarisx0x: i just told you
I 0bsessed I: you can settle things yourself
x0xatarisx0x: no
x0xatarisx0x: she is ur friend
I 0bsessed I: Some things are messed up and sometimes you need to settle thing sometimes they can't be settled
I 0bsessed I: and you are my lover.
x0xatarisx0x: all i want
I 0bsessed I: I fucking love you and you go and try to make me pick between the 2
x0xatarisx0x: is a goddamn apology bruce
I 0bsessed I: so go ask for one.
I 0bsessed I: You want her to apologize...so ask..
x0xatarisx0x: no
I 0bsessed I: its that simple
x0xatarisx0x: no
I 0bsessed I: you want me.. to ask her to apologize.
x0xatarisx0x: yes
x0xatarisx0x: thats it
I 0bsessed I: why.
x0xatarisx0x: and u can't do that
x0xatarisx0x: u would rather sit there
x0xatarisx0x: and watch me fucking die
x0xatarisx0x: and you are saying that I don't love you
x0xatarisx0x: ha
I 0bsessed I: I will ask her for the apology.
x0xatarisx0x: thats all i wanted
x0xatarisx0x: but... if i don't get it
x0xatarisx0x: then all this shit starts up all over again
I 0bsessed I: But I can truthfully say, that after what you just put me through...
I 0bsessed I: you fucked me over.
I 0bsessed I: and I dont want to talk to you untill I think about this whole thing.
x0xatarisx0x: no
x0xatarisx0x: no
x0xatarisx0x: no
x0xatarisx0x: no
x0xatarisx0x: no
x0xatarisx0x: nothing i ever do is fucking right
x0xatarisx0x: so just fuck it
I 0bsessed I: you knew this was wrong
x0xatarisx0x: and dump me
I 0bsessed I: you said it yourself
I 0bsessed I: I am not dumpng you.
x0xatarisx0x: no
I 0bsessed I: I am just taking time to think about this
x0xatarisx0x: cnd;og.,km9
x0xatarisx0x: no
I 0bsessed I: no what?
x0xatarisx0x: u have to stay here with me before i go do something stupid..... cuz i'm in a fucking bad mood now
I 0bsessed I: i am right here if you need to talk.
I 0bsessed I: but I am not in solid mind to really talk cause I am thinking of other things.
x0xatarisx0x: it doesn't matter
I 0bsessed I: I just said I am RIGHT HERE
I 0bsessed I: But I am telling you right now.
I 0bsessed I: I am not in solid mind.
x0xatarisx0x: i wanna call you
x0xatarisx0x: ok
I 0bsessed I: My step dad is on the phone with some friend watching the hockey game.
x0xatarisx0x: errrrrrrrrrr
x0xatarisx0x: because i was hurting... i hurt you
x0xatarisx0x: thats bullshit
I 0bsessed I: You fucking made me make a choice.
I 0bsessed I: I did not want to make, and you fucking hurt me.
x0xatarisx0x: well... it was either that or i'm gonna hurt
I 0bsessed I: and look who I put over my own well being.
x0xatarisx0x: so i either made you make a choice... which could have been really simple....or i just went on hurting
I 0bsessed I: you made me make the hardest choice of my life.
x0xatarisx0x: i'm sorry
x0xatarisx0x: ok?
I 0bsessed I: not really, not yet at least.
x0xatarisx0x: ?
I 0bsessed I: I have to think about this whole thing
x0xatarisx0x: what do u mean?
I 0bsessed I: I HAVE TO THINK ABOUT THIS
x0xatarisx0x: what about it?
I 0bsessed I: just let me think
I 0bsessed I: dont question it.just let me think
x0xatarisx0x: call me when ur step dad gets off the phone please
I 0bsessed I: I dont know.
x0xatarisx0x: oh god...
x0xatarisx0x: bruce...
x0xatarisx0x: what else was i supposed to do?
I 0bsessed I: you could have, 1.) asked her for an apology yourself 2.) just lived your life without even hearing of her ever again 3.) made me NOT make a choice between 2 people I care about
I 0bsessed I: I mean there are just many choices there
x0xatarisx0x: no bruce
I 0bsessed I: yes. candace
x0xatarisx0x: cuz if i would have done those last two i would have kept on hurting myself
I 0bsessed I: so then pick number 1.
x0xatarisx0x: ur not even acknowledging that
x0xatarisx0x: no
I 0bsessed I: dont you fucking tell me what I am and what I am not doing.
x0xatarisx0x: this has just as much to do with you as it does with me and her
x0xatarisx0x: then don't fucking do it bruce
I 0bsessed I: ok..
I 0bsessed I: I have though
I 0bsessed I: t
x0xatarisx0x: ?
x0xatarisx0x: bruce... are you going to ask or not?
I 0bsessed I: she is not online and she is asleep
I 0bsessed I: I am typing something out.
x0xatarisx0x: ok
I 0bsessed I: I love you, and I care for you.....but this relationship has been so much on both of us. I am not sure if we will even make it through this. Our emotions have just been tossed around so much, this all hurts so bad. Its all just so much, and I can't deal with it. I can't. I tried and tried and tried again. I make attempts to get through things (you may say I dont but I do). we may be ment for each other, but if we are why are things not working? its one thing after another...and I really can't take it...I dont know what to do, I dont want to be without you. but at the same time i think it would be better off that way. I dont want you to kill yourself.....I could not live with that.....how, how can we get through this? how.... even if things go your way, I would still look back on this and just think how you could do something that I feel was so wrong to me. We do more damage then good for each other.
x0xatarisx0x: so u just wanna end it?
I 0bsessed I: I dont know anymore.
I 0bsessed I: i dont want you to die.
x0xatarisx0x: njwbnokn'gs
x0xatarisx0x: fuck you
x0xatarisx0x: fuck you
x0xatarisx0x: and damn you to hell
x0xatarisx0x: and fucking try ok
I 0bsessed I: try what?
x0xatarisx0x: you can't expect things to be fucking great ok
x0xatarisx0x: *and i fucking try
x0xatarisx0x: i'm sooooo goddamned sorry i'm not perfect
I 0bsessed I: I have tried and tried and tried to work things out with you, we have both tried..
I 0bsessed I: and we always end up
I 0bsessed I: RIGHT HERE AGAIN AND AGAIN!
x0xatarisx0x: no
x0xatarisx0x: ngfjs;
x0xatarisx0x: fuck you
I 0bsessed I: ok
x0xatarisx0x: i hope you die bruce
x0xatarisx0x: i swear to god i hate you
I 0bsessed I: so hate me then.
x0xatarisx0x: i fucking lost my virginity to you you asshole
I 0bsessed I: and I lost mine to you.
x0xatarisx0x: fuck you
x0xatarisx0x: i never ever ever wanna talk to you again
I 0bsessed I: well then, good bye and good night..I love you. I truely do.
x0xatarisx0x: i don't believe you
x0xatarisx0x: and i never will again
I 0bsessed I: you dont have to
x0xatarisx0x: leave me alone
I 0bsessed I: block me.
I 0bsessed I: its the only way I will leave you.
x0xatarisx0x signed off at 10:54:47 PM.
so much, tonight.