(no subject)
my best friend is also the love of my life.
this makes it difficult to make new friends because when you have stumbled upon a person who
can satisfy everything that can be satisfied in you by another person...
theres no real search for fulfillment outside of yourself.
my best girlfriend is one hundred miles away.
and i am a rediculous person for not following through with efforts to see her.
its been eight months.
thats almost a year.
soooo....i will go this week.
i got a bike today.
its purple and big.
its my new form of transportation.
im done spending money now.
although gas can get expensive.
ill find a severely part time job.
for gas money.
and pray that i get into college.
i now know what its like to be a senior
in these months.
i had no idea what the fuss was about
when i was younger. in high school.
now i feel like the rest of my life is to be determined
in the next few weeks.
little package?
big package?
or will i hold my breath while the internet explorer page loads.
and hope that it either hasnt been posted yet....
or that it will tell me i have a future as a student- and still
a person of substance.
because i have no talents or any interest in retail -
school and a profession are my only hope.
when i did i become so interested in succeeding?
i hate it.
its exhausting.
all the while max is perfecting a recording to send to nashville.
because a big ol band there is interested in his talents.
where does this leave me?
besides sitting next to him while he records it....
again it leaves me with out him.
as it always will.
and as always....
i swore i was ok with it.
like i said.
my best friend.
this makes it difficult to make new friends because when you have stumbled upon a person who
can satisfy everything that can be satisfied in you by another person...
theres no real search for fulfillment outside of yourself.
my best girlfriend is one hundred miles away.
and i am a rediculous person for not following through with efforts to see her.
its been eight months.
thats almost a year.
soooo....i will go this week.
i got a bike today.
its purple and big.
its my new form of transportation.
im done spending money now.
although gas can get expensive.
ill find a severely part time job.
for gas money.
and pray that i get into college.
i now know what its like to be a senior
in these months.
i had no idea what the fuss was about
when i was younger. in high school.
now i feel like the rest of my life is to be determined
in the next few weeks.
little package?
big package?
or will i hold my breath while the internet explorer page loads.
and hope that it either hasnt been posted yet....
or that it will tell me i have a future as a student- and still
a person of substance.
because i have no talents or any interest in retail -
school and a profession are my only hope.
when i did i become so interested in succeeding?
i hate it.
its exhausting.
all the while max is perfecting a recording to send to nashville.
because a big ol band there is interested in his talents.
where does this leave me?
besides sitting next to him while he records it....
again it leaves me with out him.
as it always will.
and as always....
i swore i was ok with it.
like i said.
my best friend.