[locked to Roxis-sama only] Strength, part 2

[thewishfire]

I remember a time when it seemed like, at least for one moment of fervour and desperation-- and in a smaller capacity, for some time-- to be stronger was such a deep desire of yours. And it's strange, because... in many ways, sometimes, it seems like we're contrasting reflections of each other. The way your eyes burn like fire, and mine are bright

Comments

[strivinghigher]

Of course you contrast with me... If you wanted to take the same role as I do, you couldn't provide what I want as well, because we do not play as equals, you and I. To truly satisfy what I want of you, you have to be on the opposite end of the spectrum from me.

Additionally, though, your very nature is to surrender to someone else's desires. It's more natural for you to give in to me than it would be if I wanted it the other way around; even the act of becoming what complements my desires is, on a meta-level, an act of surrender. You would be fighting against that to be anything else for me, so it wouldn't be as complete.

So the kind of creature you are suits me perfectly. But nonetheless, I do feel more triumphant over you because you're not weak. Because you're really something formidable for me to have captured and held fast... until you don't struggle at all. Until, as you so often do, you give up all resistance... and it's for me to say you will or you will not. Even now, as I'm teasing you with my words, it's my choice whether to continue or not.

[thewishfire]

Hah... it's conflicting. It's your will for me to be whatever you wish me to be, right? Including strong, if you prefer it, so I can be a good opponent. And at the same time, like you said, it's my nature to surrender, so... maybe this feeling, maybe it's the clash of those two desires, a little. Is it more fulfilling of my nature if I go against it for a wish, or if I uphold it in denial of a wish... I guess I'm finding the answer is "they both feel a little strange".

Just, oh gods, Roxis-sama, I never wanted to win.... The only reason I didn't just stand there and let you beat me senseless all those times was I still had some human idea in my head that that would be absurd. And because I was afraid, instinctively, of it hurting, but... now that doesn't even occur to me. Being beaten is nothing compared to the desire for you to overcome me, both because it's your wish and because it's my nature.... I... I want to cry out for you to just make me helpless, but... it's for you to will whether it happens or not, isn't it. I can only beg you, and even that's ultimately something you can choose to act on, or not.... How my body acts, even how it feels, is up to you....

[strivinghigher]

Well, I suppose doing that to you wouldn't undo the fact that I have captured you. I suppose as long as we don't have to ridiculously pretend that it was all my own power, as if I could really beat down a Mana; as long as we know that the real power I have over you comes from something a lot more true, then I suppose also going through the motions of doing that to you wouldn't hurt.

Because if you want to stand there and let me to beat you senseless, I could do that. And I wouldn't mind looking down on you all weak and shaken, helpless before me. I especially wouldn't mind if you cry out for it or beg me.

[thewishfire]

...Oh gods, please. Please, Roxis-sama. I'm begging you not even because you thought it, but because I need it. Or maybe I don't know the difference any more, and come to that I don't particularly care.

I know where your real power comes from. It's something much greater than simple physical strength... you hold me deep inside, through a bond of love, and that's stronger than anything... but... even so... I want to feel it physically manifest... I want to feel you, please, and don't hold back....