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Feb 20, 2010 14:30


You should be exactly what I want. Your really cute, your caring, your ready for a relationshp, the sex is suprisingly really good. But how is there not that spark.....I keep comparing you to Him. But you and him could basically be from different planets. In every aspect of relationships, looks, and wants/needs. I just don't get it.

I fell for you so hard...and im still getting over you, so am I going to pass by this amazing boy because im getting over a complete dickhead that didn't want to try in our relationship. That sounds a little rediculous doesn't it. it does to me, thats for sure.

When I look at Brian, he could be someone I could fall in love with......but then theres you in th back of my head telling me that your better in this way and that way. but tobe honest, Brian will be better in all things compared to you. you wouldn't hurt me, he wouldnt stop caring, you wouldnt even dream of the things you pulled with us. and to know that, should be the most comforting thing in the world, but instead I'm still thinking of how good you were in a few specific areas, looking over all the bull shit. Why is it that everyone seems to do that? i think it' because we want to see the good in everything, and everyone. Thats what i always do. But now I'm facing the fact that I'm only seeing the worst in Brian........Who is better for me than 95% of dudes i have been with.

I just don't get ho my brain works sometimes, i know deep down whats good for me.....but my heart and brain are having a battle and its tiring me out. thats why I pushed Brian away.

Dear Brain,

You know full well that Brian is what I should want, so why don't i want it as bad as I should. I am selfish in so many ways, i have really come to realize that....So stop being like this and just let go and let him in. your putting up a wall for no reason at all.

Dear Heart,

I get He made you feel awesome and stuff, but then what about the times he made you feel horrible, made you feel worthless, HE didn't want to try for YOU. Thats just un acceptable!!!! Boys should be ready to give up things for you and make changes, Fuck, Brian has already and we havnt even started dating.

You both need to work out your shit....

In the mean time, i'm gong to have fun and reeeeeeeeelax about everything its up to you two now!!

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