2012 in Review
Well...December 31 of 2012 looms and it's been a momentous year. Not all good, not all bad. Harder than I wished it to be. Like most adults for whom childhood is too far behind, I feel the need to review and prepare for 2013.
So...The Good Stuff
I survived the year....refer to The Bad Stuff below
I got promoted to CEO - which is still damn odd if you ask me, but there you have it
I achieved a whole heap of work goals, including stabilising the company and finalising its funding at state and federal level - proving I wasn't in totally over my head. Treading water, yes, but not drowning. Who knows, I may even be ready to start swimming. Maybe.
Mum is still with us - fighting tooth and nail a disease that will have the upper hand. Who is my hero? She is.
I got another year with my beloved...no mean feat given the ways in which I pushed all of his buttons (mostly accidental, but I admit that all too often I did it on purpose)
I reconnected with some wonderful friends after years apart - Dana and Ed Oldmeadow - and met their beautiful family
I got another year with my small circle of friends - deliberately, purposefully small (after all, I'm not easy to put up with so it would be unreasonable to expect a wider circle)
The Bad Stuff
First and foremost, my mother was diagnosed with a fatal, untreatable illness that in her is taking an aggressive path. From diagnosis to now (6 months), she has lost all independence and all mobility, and most of her fine motor control. It's terrifying and painful. Waves of grief, waves of pulling it together, fits of terror...spells of numbness. Anticipatory grief is what they call it. It. Sucks. I do not expect her to survive 2013.
That's all I can say...but at least I have gotten far enough now that to confront the enormity of this nightmare no longer reduces me to tears.
A close second, my boss had a pervasive mental illness that turned the workplace into a living, breathing hell. It all came to a head this year, catastrophically, and nearly swallowed me whole. Instead, I was spat out on the other side. Masticated, yes, but alive. Now it's rehab time, for me and everyone else left. Still uncovering the wreckage and grappling with ways to fix it.
The US election. It took over my life. I cannot begin to explain how much I resent that. Though I cannot vote because I am not a US citizen, I was abused, tormented and bullied as a result of the US election. Perhaps, if I did not have far bigger fish to fry, it would have taken a greater toll. Thankfully, perhaps, because I did have other things to get on with, it was minimised.
Alright - stopping there. Catharsis is only therapeutic if carefully managed and a Livejournal blog entry does not fit the criteria.
So... 2013... The Road Ahead...
Well, I will be journalling once a week to replace the Facebook habit. Once a week.
I will be supporting my family through the journey of my mother.
I will commence new studies for a career path that finally revealed itself to me in recent days after nearly 18 months of speculation....My next role after CEO will be a Director of several not for profit entities. That's where I want to go next.
I will be continuing to rebuild my current workplace. It will take me about 2 years, methinks...
I will be supporting my beloved to obtain Australian citizenship and celebrating it wit him
I will reach my 40th year with tattered remains of dignity
I will take my first holiday since 2008
That's probably enough for now.
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPad.