(no subject)
Dammit, what the hell is wrong with me? What happened to the honors student, the "sponge" who could sit in class, copy whatever was on the overhead and get As with almost no studying? Toward the end of high school I could do alright with a moderate amount of studying if I read the book and maybe did some of the practice problems. I am going to every lecture and taking notes, going to every lab and trying to figure out why things work that way, doing all of the practice problems and asking why the answers are the way they are, going to office hours, actually studying for my tests, and still, STILL I can't remember the last test I passed. moreover, What happened to the girl who understood that As and Bs weren't a constant and that it was ok to struggle now and then as long as she tried? What happened to the girl who knew she was smart and brushed off the occasional c or d? I knew I could do anything I wanted, and now I'm not so sure. Maybe my mom's right, maybe I should think about transferring. Maybe I'd be much happier as an education major and be able to skate again. I can't shake the feeling though that moving to CU, CSU, Northern, Lacrosse, or any other random state school would be even worse. I picked Mines because I thought it was a perfect fit. So why don't I fit? I can't have another semester like the last one. Forget about having to go through another round of everyone telling me I'm not good enough, I can't afford school without my scholarships. I can't handle another semester as a failure, but I don't know what to do anymore.