Nov 29, 2006 09:53
Maybe I just like to avoid all of my problems and hope the go away. I just like to think that someone or something will take care of all of my problems. Sometimes things get solved and I can move on. Others just get worse by the day.
After reading the comments from my last post I thought things through. I made it a point that I would not avoid my pain. My friends know that I should talk more openly about my problems and address what is causing my depressing. I know this is wonderful advice and I should be happy to take it. The subject that is causing me to mope around is serious and is guaranteed to hurt the lives of others if addressed. If let go on for a little longer until I get what I am seeking the level of hurt will be much less.
I have one friend that knows exactly what is going on with me. I talked to her last night. And I felt a little better. We narrowed down my root of depression to one word: Closure. I thought it was regret. In a way it is a little of both, but my regret isn't what is causing me to become manic with my thoughts. It's closure. It's a peace of mind that will let me know I was not wrong in my choices. Unfortunately, I will not be able to address the closure for sometime because of outside circumstances that are out of my control. Until then I will wait patiently and try not to sabotage my life or the life of others.