Seeing. Chapter 3
Title: Seeing
Pairing: Demi/Selena,
Rating: M
Summary: Sometimes you need more your than eyes in order to see what's in front of you.
A/N: As always guys, the support you've given me in this fic as well as the reviews are MUCH appreciated. It really does mean a lot :). You guys really motivated me to write this and I can't thank you all enough. So as always, this story is as much yours, as it is mine :) Enjoy
Disclamer: No one could possible own Demi or Selena. No one.
Chapter: 3
A blissful feeling of euphoria coursed it's way through Selena's body. No crippling depression, no crushing feeling of despair, none of the garbage that weighed her down was currently present at this current time. Right now all Selena cared about was this very moment. This very moment, she wasn't a broken soul, she wasn't someone who had been left in the dirt and became a cruel joke from the tabloid rags. She knew this was only a dream but right now, she didn't care. She was doing what she loved, and that's all that mattered to her. Doing what she loved to do.
Right now, she was Selena Marie Gomez, teen icon and entertainer extraordinaire. Opening her eyes she was greeted by an entire stadium full of her fans, rising to their feet cheering her name.
Her smile grew as she waved to the stadium packed full of her supporters. She recognized the Venue she was playing at. Madison Square Garden, during the promotional tour of her second studio album. The feeling was intense, and she was about to take this stage by storm.
“Hello New York!” She shouted happily into her microphone. Her audience responded with thunderous applause as her signature song blared through the stadium speakers.
As she performed her song, that familiar rush and intensity came back to her. Strutting on stage and jumping with bursting energy, she had the crowd eating out of the palm of her hand. With every hook, every word being sung, her massive audience sang with her.
This was who Selena Gomez was. An entertainer, a performer, both beautiful and fearless. A born songstress right to the very end.
Taking her mark on center stage she pointed to the crowd singing her notable verse. Her fans cheered louder as she walked across the stage, her voice belting out each powerful note with gusto and energy.
You are the thunder and I am the lightning
And I love the way you
Know who you are and to me it's exciting
When you know it's meant to be
Everything comes naturally, it comes naturally
When you're with me, baby
Everything comes naturally, it comes naturally
Bay-bay-baby
As she finished her song for the crowd, she felt the entire audience erupt in a burst of cheer. The sounds of their applause mixed with the adrenaline of performing for a pumped up audience was enough for Selena to break down in tears. At least for this one moment, she was truly happy.
“Thank you. Thank you all so much. I love you all.” she whispered into the mic, flashing a grin to the crowd, tears of joy falling down her face as they chanted her name.
“Selena,Selena, Selena...”
“Selena, Selena...Selena wake up.” a voice stirred the former entertainer from her blissful slumber. As she struggled to open her eyes, a blurry yet familiar form stood in front of her. Brian, her young step father stood over his daughter with a dejected and disapointed scower across his features.
“Christ dad...” Selena plopped back down on her couch, feeling discouraged now that her blissful dream had been interrupted. “Why couldn't you just let me sleep?”
“You can sleep when you're dead Lena. Come on. Up and at em.” Her father shook her daughter's shoulder, egging her to get off her lazy butt. The young daughter still refused to move from her current rested position, pulling a soft pillow over her head.
“Sometimes I wish I were dead.”
Her father had enough of her self pitying. For too long Selena had put herself through this regiment of self torture. He tried everything from consoling her, to encouraging her, even bribing her at one point. Nothing seemed to work for the young actress.
“This has gone far enough Selena.” turning towards her nightstand, the young father grabbed the half filled tumbler of water and threw it in his daughter's face.
“Hey!” Selena shot up up from the couch spitting up mouthfuls of water and wiping the remaining droplets from her face, her livid eyes turned towards her father. “What the hell was...”
“You're a young woman Selena.” the young dad practically scolded, his own eyes matching the intensity in his daughters. “You're a young woman in the prime of your life. And all you're doing is letting the world pass you by! What happened to my daughter? What happened to that young woman who use to live life to it's fullest?”
“She's dead dad!” The Hispanic shouted back standing up from the sofa. She got right in her fathers face as she let out her frustrated anger. “She died the second that drunk driver turned her into...this!” she gestured wildly to her scared face.
“Well get over it then!” Brian shouted back, having enough of his daughters abuse towards him and their entire family.
“Get over it dad?” A scornful scoff left her lips as she crossed her arms over her chest. “Wow, why didn't I think of that? Gee, all better now!”
This wasn't the same girl that Brian had raised, the daughter that he held in his arms and raised to be a fearless young woman turned into a bitter and angry hurtful creature. What hurt him the most wasn't the words she shouted out though. It was her actions behind her words, more importantly, her lack of actions.
She was giving up.
“You're giving in...” he had replied quietly averting his gaze away from his daughter's hurtful eyes.
“That one promise that I expect you to keep, no matter what happens...and you're breaking it.” He felt both mentally and physically exhausted with the constant battles he had to fight with his daughter. Running his fingers through his hair, he decided that he had enough of Selena's abuse for one day.
“What happened to you Lena, you can't control. We can't change what was done to us Selena. But giving up, that's entirely on you.”
Selena turned away from her fathers gaze, even though she didn't show it, the words her father spoke rang in her ears. After her father exited her room, Selena rang her fingers through her hair. Feeling both the mental and physical exhaustion from the fight with her father. She knew that she probably wasn't the most favorable person on this planet to talk to. In the back of her mind she knew that he did have a point, but he never went through anything that resembled where she's at right now.
Selena came to a sudden realization. Everything that was given to her was a lie. The fame, the popularity, the “Friends” she had, all that fame was all lie. Every last bit of it was used to build her up only to knock her down.
Walking up to the stand of various memorabilia that she had collected during her time as an entertainer, she began to toss them into a large plastic garbage bag. These memories didn't belong to her anymore. They belonged to someone else. Someone who knew how to life to it's fullest.
With a large garbage bag full of memorabilia hoisted over her shoulders, she descended down the stairs, with every intention of discarding the plastic bag full of pictures, cds, movies she stared in, she didn't need them anymore. And she didn't need to be reminded of what was taken from her.
Heading downstairs she heard a pair of familiar voices chatting in her living room. One of them sounding like her step sister Sophie. The other voice she couldn't quite put her finger on.
Peering her head over the banister, she was suddenly interested in who her younger step sister was talking to.
“So you can't see? At all...” Sophie asked with general curiosity in her voice, she tilted her tiny head at the brunette in front of her, trying to take a peek at her behind those dark tinted sunglasses of hers. Demi just shook her head.
“Nope, I am blind as a bat.” the older girl joked. This caused Sophie to smile as she walked closer to the Texan native.
“So if you can't see then, how do you walk around town then? Aren't you afraid of falling into a pit or something?”
Demi giggled at the young child's general curiosity. Getting up from the sofa, she kneeled down to Sophie's eye level.
“Well, sometimes you need more than your eyes to see things.” Demi paused for a second, placing her finger on her chin, pretending to be in deep thought causing the other girl to giggle. “Like right now, I can smell Lilacs.”
Sophie quickly nodded her head in awe at her new friends abilities. A gleeful smile spread across her face.
“Yeah, we have Lilacs in our back yard!” Sophie exclaimed happily.
Demi nodded and playfully touching the tip of Sophie's nose. “If you listen real closely, I bet you can hear that humming bird outside your window. Close your eyes and try it.”
Following suit, she obeyed Demi's instructions and shut her eye lids closed. Listening intently to her temporarily sightless surroundings, she was able to hear the humming bird's beating wings outside of her window sill.
Opening her eyes, the youngster's head turned towards the large window and indeed saw a colorful humming bird hovering outside, collecting dew from their near by rose garden. Sophie eyes grew wide with astonishment as she gasped.
“Yay I did it!”The youngster clapped victoriously at her new found ability.
“Good job kiddo!” Demi cheered with the child feeling a sense of pride. Knowing that she educated one more person with what it was like to “see” with their other senses gave her a little more hope. It was just a shame more people couldn't be like Selena's step sister.
Studying her closely, she could see Demi's eyes behind her glasses. Contrary to what Sophie was told and what she believed about blind people, Demi did in fact have eyes. And they weren't murky or white at all. They were a light shade of blue.
“Selena's right. You are pretty.”
Demi cheek's blushed at the younger girl's comment. “Well thank you Sophie. Your sister is very beautiful too.”
“How can you tell if you can't see her?” Sophie knotted her brow in confusion, her child like innocence not comprehending what Demi was saying to her.
“Remember when I told you that you need to see more with your eyes? Well the same thing can be said about people as well. Real beauty isn't whats on the outside. But right in here.”
Demi poked the girl in the middle of her chest. Sophie once again made puzzled face, staring back into her blind friend's eyes.
“My shirt?”
The blind Texan let out another laugh. There's nothing like child like innocence to bring out the very best in people. “No, your heart. Your true beauty is your heart.”
“In that case, you're a very beautiful girl.”
Another heart filled smile reached the blind girl's lips. “Aww, well so are you Sophie.” she gently ruffled the young girls hair.
It really was a mystery to her to see how Selena ended up so bitter when she was surrounded with people who loved her. The accident must have damaged more than her skin tissue. It was far worse than what Dallas had told her. Broken skin is one thing. It was only skin deep.
A broken spirit was something else completely.
Selena honestly didn't know what to make of Demi and her little step sister bonding. It's been a while since she had seen this happy. Not even her own friends managed to make Sophie smile like that. It actually felt nice seeing her sister act happy for once.
Lord knows that she hasn't been the most cheerful person to be around with. She pretty much alienated herself from the people who cared about her. Not that she had many true “Friends” to begin with. But Demi was different.
She wasn't like those typical Hollywood “Friends” that she made in the past. She wasn't a user, and she wasn't someone who rode the coat tails of your fortune and fame to get themselves noticed. Demi was genuine.
And that's what scared Selena. Nobody was this genuine if they didn't want something in return. It's just NOT the way the world works. At least not in her experience. With her ear still in tune towards their conversation, she continued to eavesdrop on their conversation.
“So tell me what else you hear.” She heard Demi's voice. There was a short pause from their conversation. Selena gathered that Sophie was once again trying to do her “Listening experiment” that Demi showed her previously.
“I hear Selena! She's on the staircase!”
Selena jumped at the sound of her name. Tumbling back against the railing, she brought her hand out to break her fall only to knock over a near by vase, sending it crashing to the ground.
“Dammit!” She hissed staring at the now shattered pot. Bending down to pick up the broken remnants, she slowly shoved them into her large plastic garbage bag. This just wasn't her day.
“Selena I thought that was you!” She turned her head towards the owner of the cheerful voice. Selena smiled seeing Sophie bounce towards her big sister while Demi was trying to catch up, holding onto Sophie's hands for guidance.
“Yeah it's me.” Selena replied clumsily, a sheepish grin planted over her face as she finished cleaning up the mess she made. “Uh, Hey Demi.” Selena greeted her blind neighbor in a rather friendly fashion while Demi smiled back, returning the kind gesture.
“Sophie? You think you can go into the living room for a few minutes? I need to talk to Demi.”
“...ok.” The young child cautiously replied, taking note of the dark tone in Selena's voice. She knew better than to get in Selena's way when she was getting ready for a verbal thrashing. Looking back at the two girls, she saw how uneasy Demi was starting to feel as she played with the left sleeve of her cardigan.
Demi could read people's voices pretty well. After all she spent a good 13 years hearing people talk and studying the pitch in their voices. Usually an irksome tone was not a good sign for her.
“S-Selena are you OK? You...you sound kind of...”
“What the hell are you doing here Demi?”
Demi was taken back by Selena's sudden rudeness. Had she really outdo her welcome already? She admit, that she could have a little bit of a meddling issue, but she didn't mean any sort of harm. She just wanted to give her neighbor a friendly hello. Was that so bad?
“I was in the neighbor hood and I guess I just wanted to say hi. Your dad let me in...I really didn't mean to bother you. I'm sorry...”
Selena softened slightly at Demi's now uncomfortable demeanor.
“Look, I get that you want to be nice to me. I do. OK? But I don't appreciate you telling my sister lies about me. I don't like it.”
Demi once again tilted her head in confusion wondering what Selena was talking about.
“I...”
“You told my sister I was beautiful. You told MY sister that I was beautiful.” Selena let the large plastic bag fall to the ground as she walked towards Demi, who seemed to respond by shrinking away from the fearsome girl's now threatening presence.
“Selena, it's true...”
“No it's not true. I'm not Beautiful Demi. At least not anymore. If you saw me, I mean REALLY saw what I looked like, then you wouldn't think of me as beautiful.”
Demi felt her heart break even more for the young former actress. Did this girl really have that low of an opinion of herself? Did she really feel this way? It was horrible to hear about anyone else, let alone talking about yourself.
She could literally feel her mood drop with each acid filled word that Selena spoke.
“I meant what I said earlier to Sophie...”
“Do you know who I was Demi? Before...do you know what I've accomplished? I use to work for Disney. That may not mean a lot to you, but that was my entire life. I use to be part of the largest entertainment industry in the world.” Selena continued her rant as she balled her hand into a fist, her body were a few mere inches from Demi's now quivering form.
“I was happy! I was doing what I love. You know how many people can say that? That they actually achieved their dream job, only to have it taken away in a blink of an eye?! Do you know what that's like?! It's like a joke being played on you, it's like someone dangling a prize in front of you only to have it snatched away...”
“I...I know what happened Selena...” Demi managed to squeak out timidly, almost on the verge of tears.
“What?” Selena sneered out, her eyes were now livid as she proceeded to stare a hole into Demi's face.
“I know about you and what happened. But it doesn't matter. I meant every word I said Selena. Honestly, I don't think you're ugly...”
“Stop it! Just stop it!” Selena shouted furiously causing the blind girl to flinch. She narrowed her gaze in disgust as she took a few steps back. In order to calm the raging war that's going on inside of her, she took a few deep breaths. It did very little to help.
“You don't know everything Demi. What you heard or what people told you? That's not all of it! And if you did know me, you should know that I hate being a charity case.”
“Charity case? No that wasn't...” Demi tried to reason back, even in her flabbergasted state of mind, she tried her best to calm down the enraged Hispanic in front of her.
“And I HATE being lied to. Now leave!” Selena shouted, seeing the tears rolling down from the edge of Demi's glasses.
Feeling dejected, Demi turned her body away from the radiating heat that was coming from the taller girl's frame.
Trying to salvage what she could, Demi attempted to apologize towards the irate girl standing in front of her, but the only sound that came from her lips was the muffled sob that she had been keeping in. Slowly she just opened the front door and stepped outside, feeling her heart break for herself and the other teenager.
“And I don't need your pitty! Save it for someone who gives a damn!”
Demi's body flinched at the sound of the large oak door slamming behind her. She only wanted to make Selena feel better. That was the gods honest truth. She wanted to make the girl a little happier. But all she did was make her feel worse.
She failed. She failed in her mission of trying to be a friend to someone who needed it. Or at least she thought she needed it. Must have read the signals wrong. That's probably it. If she read em right, she would've seen that Selena was beyond help now.
Bringing he hand to her mouth her small stifled sobs turned into full unadulterated crying as she was a good distance from Selena's home. Wiping the tears that seem to endlessly stream down her face, she quickened the pace of her walking. Even though she felt defeated, she refused to let Selena see her like this.
On the other side of the door, Selena's trembling body leaned against the large wooden frame, her emotions still running wild.
God what the hell happened? Did she really say all those hurtful things? Did she even mean the words that were coming out of her mouth? She didn't know anymore. To her it was like watching someone else say all those horrible things and making that sweet girl, who was only trying to be her friend, break down in tears.
She had some horrible things in the past but, nothing like this. Nothing this vicious. In anger, she pound her fist against the large door letting out a loud and grief ridden scream from her throat as it echoed in the large hallways.
'God...what the hell am I doing?'