I'm limited...
I've been feeling very defeated lately. I can feel time slipping through my fingers and all the effort that I'm putting forward isn't helping to make that time feel useful. It's very distressing.
I've been having very odd dreams lately -- probably from all the anxiety I've been having about my imminent financial doom. In most of them, I'm trying to help someone face some sort of injustice. For example, I had this dream a few nights ago in which I was at a trial for my cousin Laura who was being accused of stealing a very small sum from a cash register at a store we had gone to previously in the dream -- also, Puff Daddy was the judge (analyze that Senor Freud). I should start keeping a dream journal.
Today hasn't helped my mood at all. I got up and promptly had to leave to pick up Laura (yes, the same cousin from the dream). Since the accident, she's been vehicleless, so for the time being since I'm jobless, I offered to allow her the use of Louise, my trusty '96 Chrysler Town n' Country. Now mind you, Louise is a stubborn old girl, but I managed to keep her in working order since I received her about 2 years ago. I gave it to Laura about a week ago...and today, she broke down. Arrrrrrrrgh. That girl has an innate ability for sabotaging vehicles. And now my aunt is coming back to town tomorrow night, so the use of her Neon by others will be limited. *pulls hair out* After that whole ordeal, I borrowed Ms. Sabrina's truck and took a brief trip to Gainesville to put an end to my apartment issue -- I paid my last two months of rent in full and turned in my keys. I'm sick of looking for a sublet and taking needless trips up there just to get stood up, so better to bite the bullet, and save my mental sanity, methinks. As I drove out of Gainesville sipping my thai tea with pearls from Bento's, "For Good" from Wicked was playing on the CD player and I realized that I had just cut the last financial cord tying me to Gainesville. *sigh* It made me think about all the experiences I've had there...
Bleh, what I wouldn't give to feel like I'm making some sort of progress?
With love
Timo
I've been having very odd dreams lately -- probably from all the anxiety I've been having about my imminent financial doom. In most of them, I'm trying to help someone face some sort of injustice. For example, I had this dream a few nights ago in which I was at a trial for my cousin Laura who was being accused of stealing a very small sum from a cash register at a store we had gone to previously in the dream -- also, Puff Daddy was the judge (analyze that Senor Freud). I should start keeping a dream journal.
Today hasn't helped my mood at all. I got up and promptly had to leave to pick up Laura (yes, the same cousin from the dream). Since the accident, she's been vehicleless, so for the time being since I'm jobless, I offered to allow her the use of Louise, my trusty '96 Chrysler Town n' Country. Now mind you, Louise is a stubborn old girl, but I managed to keep her in working order since I received her about 2 years ago. I gave it to Laura about a week ago...and today, she broke down. Arrrrrrrrgh. That girl has an innate ability for sabotaging vehicles. And now my aunt is coming back to town tomorrow night, so the use of her Neon by others will be limited. *pulls hair out* After that whole ordeal, I borrowed Ms. Sabrina's truck and took a brief trip to Gainesville to put an end to my apartment issue -- I paid my last two months of rent in full and turned in my keys. I'm sick of looking for a sublet and taking needless trips up there just to get stood up, so better to bite the bullet, and save my mental sanity, methinks. As I drove out of Gainesville sipping my thai tea with pearls from Bento's, "For Good" from Wicked was playing on the CD player and I realized that I had just cut the last financial cord tying me to Gainesville. *sigh* It made me think about all the experiences I've had there...
Bleh, what I wouldn't give to feel like I'm making some sort of progress?
With love
Timo