the best way to start your day is with tears of frustration
and i have no one to blame but myself. well, i think my teacher could make most of her assignments a little more explicit rather than implicit. the stuff she teaches just doesn't seem to penetrate my thick skull. so i got feedback on something that (granted, i didn't work my hardest on but)i thought would go well and i only got 6 out of 10. and then other things that i am positive that i bombed i will get 9 out of 10. and it's only happening to me and like one other student who is older and pretty much sucks anyway. so does this mean i suck too? could it be that my signing skills are not as refined as i like to think they are?
anyway, i told her that i try hard and then never do well somehow and that soon i will be getting a tutor and she was like "OH GREAT! THAT'S WONDERFUL"
and i thought "hmm, does she have to make it sound like that?" as if it's like "thank fucking christ this stupid girl is getting some help FINALLY!"
THERE ARE THREE CONFIRMED ( by me) GIRLS THAT COULD USE A TUTOR A HELL OF A LOT MORE THAN I COULD!
and then i went to the nearest bathroom stall and cried for a second and came here to bitch. and i can't help but feel this pre-mature resentment toward the other girls in my class, even my friends, because i know that they will all recieve a better mark than i will and i never understand why. sometimes i feel like i'm in some kind of olympic gymnastics training where my coach will settle for nothing less than perfect, even if it means not seeing my family for three years and making protein shakes and laccitives my main source of nutrition. i'm so tired of this bullshit. why didn't i stay in art school where the only bullshit is during critiques and all forms of socialization?
i'm sending out a big fuck you to every person who ever got a higher mark than me in their AEIP classifiers/sass class.
FUCK YOU.
anyway, i told her that i try hard and then never do well somehow and that soon i will be getting a tutor and she was like "OH GREAT! THAT'S WONDERFUL"
and i thought "hmm, does she have to make it sound like that?" as if it's like "thank fucking christ this stupid girl is getting some help FINALLY!"
THERE ARE THREE CONFIRMED ( by me) GIRLS THAT COULD USE A TUTOR A HELL OF A LOT MORE THAN I COULD!
and then i went to the nearest bathroom stall and cried for a second and came here to bitch. and i can't help but feel this pre-mature resentment toward the other girls in my class, even my friends, because i know that they will all recieve a better mark than i will and i never understand why. sometimes i feel like i'm in some kind of olympic gymnastics training where my coach will settle for nothing less than perfect, even if it means not seeing my family for three years and making protein shakes and laccitives my main source of nutrition. i'm so tired of this bullshit. why didn't i stay in art school where the only bullshit is during critiques and all forms of socialization?
i'm sending out a big fuck you to every person who ever got a higher mark than me in their AEIP classifiers/sass class.
FUCK YOU.