Re: how crazy is that??alphaboxAugust 9 2007, 14:06:55 UTC
Christmas in August...why does that not surprise me?? I was going through files the other day and amused myself by absent-mindedly wishing they all had isbn #s and bar codes so i could just scan them without having to pull them out and dig through pages to find basic information. Make no mistake: BN will ruin you for life! :)
As for my guy, you'll be happy to know that his family reconsidered. Whether or not it was just to collect what little he had or because they'd had a change of heart, I finally found them after calling every listing in the state of Georgia for his son's name. It was the second from the bottom. And it was a very common name... Anyway, they came up last night to make arrangements for him and collect his things. You're right, it is a sad situation. But it's also always a very complex one. Social service is never easy... His crime was against his family and it was pretty horrible, so I really couldn't hold it against them if they didn't come and have to admire them for the fact that they did, regardless of their motive. It's hard, as always, with the guys and gals I deal with because their stories are so long and complicated and generally messy. My biggest challenge is striving to see them as new human beings from the second they walk in the door, as if their lives have just begun and they have no past. I think that's the only way you can truly say you're offering a second lease on life. Or in some cases a third or fourth... And they have to begin to see themselves that same way. It's a fine line: learn from your past, but in a sense you also never had one? Most of them have no families, either because the families literally don't exist or they've written/been written off by them. The number one difference between a person who meets bad circumstances and ends up homeless and a person who has somewhere else to go is a support network: a family, biological or other. The reality is that none of these people have support networks. Corny as it sounds? Instead, they have me. If his family hadn't come through, I'm the one that claims him, makes sure he has a proper burial. And if no one else showed up, there'd at least be one person there who didn't work in the funeral business and who wasn't a stranger. It gets better. They also have each other. A great deal of bonding goes on around here. They have volunteers who come several nights a week and talk to them, befriend them, counsel them. And, by extension, they have all the people who send checks that make this place possible on their behalf. And they have this house, a home that for sixty days is their own. They're never alone. So. The one thing that I realized in all this was that if he hadn't had us, he would have literally died on a random street downtown, being gawked at by strangers. And who knows what would have followed. Instead, he had us. And even though they have a love/hate relationship with me because I'm the person that tells them like it is, whether they like it or not, my guys and gals go to bed every night clean, fed, comfortable, and knowing that no matter what, they have someone...even if they don't always like me, they know I'm in their corner. ;)
Re: how crazy is that??keatsheartAugust 15 2007, 14:56:54 UTC
In case I have not mentioned it before, I really admire what you are doing. You are taking the opportunity you've been given to make a genuine difference in the world, and too many people turn away from that.
but make no mistake--the admirable aspects are purely coincidental. lucky me. i do what i do because i enjoy it and because there's no other job that sends you home feeling like mine does--in a positive way. i like my job. i just happened to have found a job that doubles as a mission. :)
As for my guy, you'll be happy to know that his family reconsidered. Whether or not it was just to collect what little he had or because they'd had a change of heart, I finally found them after calling every listing in the state of Georgia for his son's name. It was the second from the bottom. And it was a very common name... Anyway, they came up last night to make arrangements for him and collect his things.
You're right, it is a sad situation. But it's also always a very complex one. Social service is never easy... His crime was against his family and it was pretty horrible, so I really couldn't hold it against them if they didn't come and have to admire them for the fact that they did, regardless of their motive. It's hard, as always, with the guys and gals I deal with because their stories are so long and complicated and generally messy. My biggest challenge is striving to see them as new human beings from the second they walk in the door, as if their lives have just begun and they have no past. I think that's the only way you can truly say you're offering a second lease on life. Or in some cases a third or fourth... And they have to begin to see themselves that same way. It's a fine line: learn from your past, but in a sense you also never had one?
Most of them have no families, either because the families literally don't exist or they've written/been written off by them. The number one difference between a person who meets bad circumstances and ends up homeless and a person who has somewhere else to go is a support network: a family, biological or other. The reality is that none of these people have support networks.
Corny as it sounds? Instead, they have me. If his family hadn't come through, I'm the one that claims him, makes sure he has a proper burial. And if no one else showed up, there'd at least be one person there who didn't work in the funeral business and who wasn't a stranger.
It gets better. They also have each other. A great deal of bonding goes on around here. They have volunteers who come several nights a week and talk to them, befriend them, counsel them. And, by extension, they have all the people who send checks that make this place possible on their behalf. And they have this house, a home that for sixty days is their own. They're never alone.
So. The one thing that I realized in all this was that if he hadn't had us, he would have literally died on a random street downtown, being gawked at by strangers. And who knows what would have followed. Instead, he had us. And even though they have a love/hate relationship with me because I'm the person that tells them like it is, whether they like it or not, my guys and gals go to bed every night clean, fed, comfortable, and knowing that no matter what, they have someone...even if they don't always like me, they know I'm in their corner. ;)
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