A Word I Do Not Like
Bitch.
No, not bitch- you don't understand that her fast flood of unchecked words flows from social awkwardness, not anger or mean spirited-ness.
I'm not a bitch. When you apply that word to my character it turns me defensive and biting. More than that, it makes me feel bad. I'm not a bitch. I do not like that word.
I just...I just...in social situations I become hard-shelled. I speak too fast, saying things to make other people feel bad and laugh uncomfortably so they stay away from me to avoid my poison tongue. Then they resent me. And it grows in the air, their resentment, and I can smell their disdain. Oh, it goes and goes and I become worse and worse until someone says something mean-spirited towards me and I hole up like a clam. Then I drive home, wishing I had never went and wishing I could say nice things instead of mean ones and wishing that I was a nicer person overall. Then Im overly sensitive and vulnerable, wishing someone would swoop in and save me from my awkwardness and love me just the way I am, callous and all.
No, not bitch- you don't understand that her fast flood of unchecked words flows from social awkwardness, not anger or mean spirited-ness.
I'm not a bitch. When you apply that word to my character it turns me defensive and biting. More than that, it makes me feel bad. I'm not a bitch. I do not like that word.
I just...I just...in social situations I become hard-shelled. I speak too fast, saying things to make other people feel bad and laugh uncomfortably so they stay away from me to avoid my poison tongue. Then they resent me. And it grows in the air, their resentment, and I can smell their disdain. Oh, it goes and goes and I become worse and worse until someone says something mean-spirited towards me and I hole up like a clam. Then I drive home, wishing I had never went and wishing I could say nice things instead of mean ones and wishing that I was a nicer person overall. Then Im overly sensitive and vulnerable, wishing someone would swoop in and save me from my awkwardness and love me just the way I am, callous and all.