SPN meta
I do have SPN fic ideas, but for now, I have a meta. About episode 3x01 and Dean in general. Spoilers, of course.
So first of all, I have to say that I'm still really new to SPN and I'm still watching season 2. I've watched most of season 1 and the season 2 premiere and finale, and the season 3 premiere. I may be missing something big in this meta. I'll be embarrassed if that's true, but here goes anyway.
A lot of people seem to be annoyed with Dean's behavior in season 3--too hard, too cold, none of that underlying kindness that Dean has with Sam. I don't know--for me, it was ok. Dean just got a death sentence. He got a terminal disease. He will be dead in a year and even though he doesn't really seem to believe in God--he's the sort who'd say he'd rather go to Hell anyway because all that harp playing would get dull--what an awful thing to know you're going to Hell. So he's going to be tough. He's going to be callous. He's not going to care. It doesn't matter. A year left to live? Whatever.
I don't think that's how he really feels. I think he feels this mix of fear, anger, relief, and numbness.
Fear--of course, fear. He's going to die and he's going to Hell. That's scary.
Anger--it's not that the tradeoff isn't more than worth it or that Dean blames Sam, but who wouldn't be angry at this?
Relief--Dean's tired. He loves this life, but he's not heartbroken that it has to end. But if it's going to end, it better end with him dead, because there's no way Dean (at this point) would want or could handle a normal life. And I think he's relieved that he won't be burying Sam. Dean thinks that Sam won't miss him as much as he'd miss Sam--Sam doesn't need him as much, which I want to get into more a little later. (I don't agree with that, but I do agree that Sam is handling this situation much better than Dean would be, if the tables were turned. That's not a criticism of either of them, just a statement.)
Numbness--you start to feel all this at once and you just explode. So Dean shuts down and doesn't feel anything. It's all still going on, and when it surfaces, it's gonna be bad, but for now, he doesn't have to feel all these feelings that will be sure to overwhelm him.
When Dean's real feelings surface, it's going to something to watch.
So now back to that thing about Dean thinking Sam doesn't need him as much as Dean needs Sam.
Bobby had it spot on at the end of season 2 when he asked if Dean was that screwed in the head. Dean is. He was raised by a father who loved him, but constantly put hunting the demon first. At least, that's what John said. If, at the end of season 1, it had been Dean or Sam possessed, I don't think John would have shot him, but what John said was that hunting came first. That's what Dean knew from his father.
And Sam left him, too, to go to Stanford, and apparently without looking back. I'm sure Sam did miss Dean, but from Dean's point of view, Sam was able to drop him and not care. He didn't call, he didn't write. And when Dean came for him--when Dean admitted that he didn't need Sam, but he wanted him--Sam still said no. Sam didn't disagree when Dean said Sam wouldn't have picked up the phone if Dean had called. That's what Dean knew from his brother.
What does Dean know about himself? That he's had to bury his father. I haven't seen season 2 yet, but from what I understand, it really killed him (as it would). And Dean knows how devastated he was when Sam died. He sold his soul to get Sam back.
(I'd also like to see a meta on how differently Sam and Dean react to the other's death. Sam found a faith healer. Dean went to the devil. Yeah, it's different in that Sam had the time to search for another option, but still.)
Dean's relationships with his father and brother have evolved, but the foundation he was working needed some serious dismantling and rebuilding, and it hadn't been done yet. So for Dean, this is the best solution for the situation, and he's dealing with it the best way he can.[/END META]
***
Also, a theory for the predicament Dean's in...
[START SPECULATION] So earlier, I asked my sister if it was possible that Dean has some sort of extra protection because part of the deal he made with the demon was that he had one year to live, and the demons have to try to give him that year. So he maybe has a guardian demon.
Anyway, I've been thinking on that more and you know what I love for getting Dean out of this? At some point during this season, one of the boys (or both, I guess) has some sort of accident and dies for a moment. They bring him back straight away. It can't be anything big. They shouldn't even really focus on it, except to establish that it happened. If he gets hurt and then over the commercial break, he's taken to the hospital and when we come back, he says something like, "Wait, so, I was dead for a minute there?" and the other one (or the doctor) says, "Yep." Then we move on.
And in the end, there's a big battle (of course we get a big battle during the finale), and the boys lose. They're coming for Dean and Sam gets his lawyer on and points out that the deal was that he, Sam, gets to live and Dean gets a year to live. Since the demons didn't fulfill the requirements (just for a moment), they can't have Dean's soul. Of course we have to have the big battle first, or it would feel like a cheat. I don't watch SPN for legal maneuvering. That's Law and Order territory. But if they lose the battle, and it looks like it's all going to fall apart and then it turns out that Sam's legal training helps save the day? After all, at the end of season two, he was pretty adamant that he was going to save Dean this time around.
...
Oh, look, another fic idea. I was honestly just trying to write out a cracky prediction, not give myself plot bunnies. "The Devil and Sam Winchester."
Cross posted to spn_heavymeta
So first of all, I have to say that I'm still really new to SPN and I'm still watching season 2. I've watched most of season 1 and the season 2 premiere and finale, and the season 3 premiere. I may be missing something big in this meta. I'll be embarrassed if that's true, but here goes anyway.
A lot of people seem to be annoyed with Dean's behavior in season 3--too hard, too cold, none of that underlying kindness that Dean has with Sam. I don't know--for me, it was ok. Dean just got a death sentence. He got a terminal disease. He will be dead in a year and even though he doesn't really seem to believe in God--he's the sort who'd say he'd rather go to Hell anyway because all that harp playing would get dull--what an awful thing to know you're going to Hell. So he's going to be tough. He's going to be callous. He's not going to care. It doesn't matter. A year left to live? Whatever.
I don't think that's how he really feels. I think he feels this mix of fear, anger, relief, and numbness.
Fear--of course, fear. He's going to die and he's going to Hell. That's scary.
Anger--it's not that the tradeoff isn't more than worth it or that Dean blames Sam, but who wouldn't be angry at this?
Relief--Dean's tired. He loves this life, but he's not heartbroken that it has to end. But if it's going to end, it better end with him dead, because there's no way Dean (at this point) would want or could handle a normal life. And I think he's relieved that he won't be burying Sam. Dean thinks that Sam won't miss him as much as he'd miss Sam--Sam doesn't need him as much, which I want to get into more a little later. (I don't agree with that, but I do agree that Sam is handling this situation much better than Dean would be, if the tables were turned. That's not a criticism of either of them, just a statement.)
Numbness--you start to feel all this at once and you just explode. So Dean shuts down and doesn't feel anything. It's all still going on, and when it surfaces, it's gonna be bad, but for now, he doesn't have to feel all these feelings that will be sure to overwhelm him.
When Dean's real feelings surface, it's going to something to watch.
So now back to that thing about Dean thinking Sam doesn't need him as much as Dean needs Sam.
Bobby had it spot on at the end of season 2 when he asked if Dean was that screwed in the head. Dean is. He was raised by a father who loved him, but constantly put hunting the demon first. At least, that's what John said. If, at the end of season 1, it had been Dean or Sam possessed, I don't think John would have shot him, but what John said was that hunting came first. That's what Dean knew from his father.
And Sam left him, too, to go to Stanford, and apparently without looking back. I'm sure Sam did miss Dean, but from Dean's point of view, Sam was able to drop him and not care. He didn't call, he didn't write. And when Dean came for him--when Dean admitted that he didn't need Sam, but he wanted him--Sam still said no. Sam didn't disagree when Dean said Sam wouldn't have picked up the phone if Dean had called. That's what Dean knew from his brother.
What does Dean know about himself? That he's had to bury his father. I haven't seen season 2 yet, but from what I understand, it really killed him (as it would). And Dean knows how devastated he was when Sam died. He sold his soul to get Sam back.
(I'd also like to see a meta on how differently Sam and Dean react to the other's death. Sam found a faith healer. Dean went to the devil. Yeah, it's different in that Sam had the time to search for another option, but still.)
Dean's relationships with his father and brother have evolved, but the foundation he was working needed some serious dismantling and rebuilding, and it hadn't been done yet. So for Dean, this is the best solution for the situation, and he's dealing with it the best way he can.[/END META]
***
Also, a theory for the predicament Dean's in...
[START SPECULATION] So earlier, I asked my sister if it was possible that Dean has some sort of extra protection because part of the deal he made with the demon was that he had one year to live, and the demons have to try to give him that year. So he maybe has a guardian demon.
Anyway, I've been thinking on that more and you know what I love for getting Dean out of this? At some point during this season, one of the boys (or both, I guess) has some sort of accident and dies for a moment. They bring him back straight away. It can't be anything big. They shouldn't even really focus on it, except to establish that it happened. If he gets hurt and then over the commercial break, he's taken to the hospital and when we come back, he says something like, "Wait, so, I was dead for a minute there?" and the other one (or the doctor) says, "Yep." Then we move on.
And in the end, there's a big battle (of course we get a big battle during the finale), and the boys lose. They're coming for Dean and Sam gets his lawyer on and points out that the deal was that he, Sam, gets to live and Dean gets a year to live. Since the demons didn't fulfill the requirements (just for a moment), they can't have Dean's soul. Of course we have to have the big battle first, or it would feel like a cheat. I don't watch SPN for legal maneuvering. That's Law and Order territory. But if they lose the battle, and it looks like it's all going to fall apart and then it turns out that Sam's legal training helps save the day? After all, at the end of season two, he was pretty adamant that he was going to save Dean this time around.
...
Oh, look, another fic idea. I was honestly just trying to write out a cracky prediction, not give myself plot bunnies. "The Devil and Sam Winchester."
Cross posted to spn_heavymeta