(no subject)
I offically have no trust in my immediate family. My oldest sister was my last resort of people to talk to in my family and she sold me out today. She's sitting about 10 feet from me and I want to just go off on her. My mom is scheduling an appointment with April, she has been convinced that I need it. My sister felt she had to tell about the machete incident, and my mom saw the scars on my shoulder...wow that's great news. I told her I had them for years, it's part of the truth, never said how, just said I got them. She accused me of cutting, I denied it, told her she's being morbid. She said that she will be searching my car and my room for weapons I don't need. I dont' think she's realized that the thing that is deadlier than my knives I own I always carry with me, and that is my own two hands and feet. I think she caught on to the fact that whenever I leave for a fight, I wear my construction boots, jeans, and a dark shirt with a hat. She caught on definately because she gets real 3rd degreeish when she sees me in my boots and hat and freaks out about where i'm going, who i'm going with, what is wrong, what is going on...Can you say annoying? I went into my car today and took the knives out, and they are sitting in the garage where she will NEVER find them, and I cut the machete box up so she won't be able to tell what that is. And she can't say shit about a broken bat, if she does, oh fucking well she's still got shit on me. She's getting on my nerves, she openly told me today that she knows I can handle myself very well, and that is why she's afraid of me fighting. She some how found out about Austin, and said "you've been after this kid since Halsey, and I know your going to really hurt him, so just let it die" And i told her that to "really hurt" Austin would be a generous gesture, and that killing him would be more approiate. She just looked at me and I said "don't worry if he ever swings at us, we won't kill him, but you can be sure we all are jumping on him at once and going to town on him" and she focused her energy then on the Sportmart/machete incident, and then goes "You better pray to god i dont' find out you even look at your sister hard or me and you are going to have problems" and I said "Mom you so much as touch me in an aggressive manor and it will take a force greater than god to stop me from having you locked up for 2 to 5 years, and you can bet your fuckign ass i'll do it too" That ended our conversation, I told her I need to be left alone because i've been in really upsetting moods lately and it's best they leave me alone when i'm upset, she refuses, so whatever attitude she gets, she fully deserves.
Tonight i'm sleeping over at Jimmy's, and we have mongolian BBQ tonight, I think he said he's picking me up at like 5:30 or something. It's gonna be good to get out of the house for a day. I have to spend time with Lauren though, and i'm still upset about Jimmy's. I was already upset that she didn't seem to care at all when she turned me down, I mean she seemed so emotionless, thats why I got angry, and then I felt trapped all day...stuck...I couldnt' get rid of her because jimmy was my ride home and so was Lauren, in a nutshell I was just feeling trapped all day. So in Jimmy's garage when she asked me "do you hate being around me or something?" Yeah I felt cornered so of course I got nasty I just told her "lauren I dont' want to hear your bullshit right now, I really don't".
Me and halsey been becoming friends again, and it's surprisingly soothing to me. I figured when we became friends again it'd be this awkward, tense situation focused on the past of us dating, and how it failied, why it failed, how sorry we were...basically a reply of the past. But we had ONE talk about the past and we left it at that. I'm glad i'm still friends with that girl, she seems to have changed, and for the better. If only she did that when we were on break, things would have been fine.
But anyhoes I gots ta goes and take me a shower...lata all
Tonight i'm sleeping over at Jimmy's, and we have mongolian BBQ tonight, I think he said he's picking me up at like 5:30 or something. It's gonna be good to get out of the house for a day. I have to spend time with Lauren though, and i'm still upset about Jimmy's. I was already upset that she didn't seem to care at all when she turned me down, I mean she seemed so emotionless, thats why I got angry, and then I felt trapped all day...stuck...I couldnt' get rid of her because jimmy was my ride home and so was Lauren, in a nutshell I was just feeling trapped all day. So in Jimmy's garage when she asked me "do you hate being around me or something?" Yeah I felt cornered so of course I got nasty I just told her "lauren I dont' want to hear your bullshit right now, I really don't".
Me and halsey been becoming friends again, and it's surprisingly soothing to me. I figured when we became friends again it'd be this awkward, tense situation focused on the past of us dating, and how it failied, why it failed, how sorry we were...basically a reply of the past. But we had ONE talk about the past and we left it at that. I'm glad i'm still friends with that girl, she seems to have changed, and for the better. If only she did that when we were on break, things would have been fine.
But anyhoes I gots ta goes and take me a shower...lata all