April 6th
soo this is what's up. Today is April 6th which means many things. for starters, it's me and Ethan's 5 month anniversary and even though we are so comfortable with each other and I can't imagine my life right now without him, it still surprises me that I've had a boyfriend for 5 consecutive months of my life. wow. what else is April 6th? well, April 6th, 2005 was the day I realized I'm fucked. I'm getting about a 60 in econ 1 and my other grades aren't great (low Bs mostly, maybe one A if I'm lucky). I need econ for the business minor but I need to get a C- for it to count. my parents said I can't get Cs and I can't drop classes, so when I told them the situation yesterday, needless to say, they were less than pleased. friday is the last day to drop classes but I'm not going to drop it. the final is worth 45% so I'm just gonna kill myself going to every single class and recitation and getting a tutor and hope to god that I get that C-. if I don't, I'll take it again prob second semester next year and replace my grade. ugh, I wish my parents would just let me take it online over the summer and accept that it's freshman year, fuck-ups happen. my dad flunked out his freshman year but no I can't bring that up cuz then comes "but your father also went to vietnam and grew up and went back to college and graduated with honors, so if that's your plan, then by all means...." FUCK!!!!! I am so unbelievably stressed out and last night I smoked and that made me feel so good but when I woke up this morning I felt like I had air blowing under my skin and I still do. I'm restless, I can't relax, I can't think, I get have an orgasm and I just had my prgnancy scare. if there is a god, I ask you, WHAT ELSE YOU GOT?