(no subject)
You know.
I've done everything I can possibly think of to just try to make things work, I've drifted from those who cared about me most.
Because of you, and all you can do is give me a fucking " if I feel that way again , I'll tell you instead of hiding my feelings".
All I can say to that is, Pretty much .. I can't hold on to a fucking if for the rest of my life, In november it will be a year, That I've put aside people, and Failed to get close to them because of you, and pretty much I've wasted my life, My time, and My patience for a year, for a fucking IF?!!.
This week, you don't want me, but you want to rebuild our friendship. Next week you'll be telling me you wished I was there so we could make out and or do whatever.
I'm not going to keep living like this, you say you can't so why should I be the one waiting.
You said that you don't love me like that anymore.
Yet you told me 3 sentences later, that when you're with "her" you think about the way things could of been with us and contemplate dumping her to get back with me, but then you can't?. You're a fucking walking contridiction. You don't have a clue about what love is, and you shouldn't use the fucking word.
You've hurt me beyond fucking belief, and you said something yesterday, that made me stop and question why I keep coming back. Why do I?. I don't know like you said.
" There are 100's of other boys dying to date you, you know that, so why do you keep coming back nikki?.. We talk for a week and then dont talk for 3 months then you come back after not talking for months and tell me you love me, how can I live with that?." Well buddy, ( im leaving you nameless because im a nice person) how do you expect me to live with you changing your fucking mind every two weeks on how you feel about me.
And you said this wasnt about you anymore, it wasn't about me anymore. that it was about "us"
Well then fucking make a step.. take a fucking step down off of your fucking high horse, and realize that this god damn world doesn't revolve around you.
Do you have any idea why I keep coming back?
Do you really want to know why..?
Because when I look in the mirror each morning.
I don't smile.
I don't smile anymore, Because there isn't a god damn thing in this world that could make me more happy than being with you.
I don't smile, because you were the only person, that I wanted to believe in.
And looking into that mirror every dreadful morning upon waking.
In that frown, I see... what love did to me.
What it does to everyone.
and what you did to me.
and the sad thing is... in 7 months from now.
I might be here waiting for you to get your shit together.
2 years from now.. 6 years from now.. I might still be waiting.
Because for some fucking reason.
I feel you might be worth it in the end.
I've done everything I can possibly think of to just try to make things work, I've drifted from those who cared about me most.
Because of you, and all you can do is give me a fucking " if I feel that way again , I'll tell you instead of hiding my feelings".
All I can say to that is, Pretty much .. I can't hold on to a fucking if for the rest of my life, In november it will be a year, That I've put aside people, and Failed to get close to them because of you, and pretty much I've wasted my life, My time, and My patience for a year, for a fucking IF?!!.
This week, you don't want me, but you want to rebuild our friendship. Next week you'll be telling me you wished I was there so we could make out and or do whatever.
I'm not going to keep living like this, you say you can't so why should I be the one waiting.
You said that you don't love me like that anymore.
Yet you told me 3 sentences later, that when you're with "her" you think about the way things could of been with us and contemplate dumping her to get back with me, but then you can't?. You're a fucking walking contridiction. You don't have a clue about what love is, and you shouldn't use the fucking word.
You've hurt me beyond fucking belief, and you said something yesterday, that made me stop and question why I keep coming back. Why do I?. I don't know like you said.
" There are 100's of other boys dying to date you, you know that, so why do you keep coming back nikki?.. We talk for a week and then dont talk for 3 months then you come back after not talking for months and tell me you love me, how can I live with that?." Well buddy, ( im leaving you nameless because im a nice person) how do you expect me to live with you changing your fucking mind every two weeks on how you feel about me.
And you said this wasnt about you anymore, it wasn't about me anymore. that it was about "us"
Well then fucking make a step.. take a fucking step down off of your fucking high horse, and realize that this god damn world doesn't revolve around you.
Do you have any idea why I keep coming back?
Do you really want to know why..?
Because when I look in the mirror each morning.
I don't smile.
I don't smile anymore, Because there isn't a god damn thing in this world that could make me more happy than being with you.
I don't smile, because you were the only person, that I wanted to believe in.
And looking into that mirror every dreadful morning upon waking.
In that frown, I see... what love did to me.
What it does to everyone.
and what you did to me.
and the sad thing is... in 7 months from now.
I might be here waiting for you to get your shit together.
2 years from now.. 6 years from now.. I might still be waiting.
Because for some fucking reason.
I feel you might be worth it in the end.