deja vu... all over again
why do i keep doing this to myself? he did it once, he'll do it again. but is it really wrong to want someone to come into your life and bring you incredible happiness? i've been around for two decades now, where's my turn at having someone love me? maybe its karma for the way i treated the first person who was ever willing to give me the world. but if that's the case, haven't i been through enough to maybe have better karma? lately, i've been in a somewhat depressed state. its not like i mope through my days, i go to work, i go to classes (well most of them), i go to the gym, and the other various things. i feel like i'm living my daily life just for the sake of living. i feel like i used to have a purpose to my life, and somehow, these days i don't really have it anymore. its like before i had a light inside of me, and now this light is gone, like a big hurricane just came and knocked the life out of it. there's no more sense of enthusiasm to what i have made as my priorities. it seems like my life is slowly becoming so materialistic in a sense that my worth is somewhat based on whether or not i have a significant other. and right now, if my life was based on that, it would be a big fat zero. how did i get like this? and how much longer do i have to flounder in this big lonely place until i finally find someone who feels the same way about me as i would about them?