What I learned in College
- How to compose an e-mail.
- How to strech a canvas.
- How to use a chop saw, a table saw, a circular saw, and a jigsaw.
- How to hold a pose while nude and in front of a class full of art students.
- How to bullshit an essay.
- How to appear to have read a book.
- How to defragment a hard drive.
- How to evesdrop on the neighbors.
- How to call the cops on the neighbors.
- How to fit three people in a twin bed.
- How to not get a second date.
- How to boost self-esteem through volunteering.
- How to throw up after eating an apple.
- How to go three days without a meal.
- How to smuggle food out of a cafeteria.
- How to stay sane at night by inventing imaginary friends.
- How to have a meltdown.
- How to help a friend having a meltdown.
- How to pass a class by crying in a professor's office.
- How to sit back and enjoy the warmth of the sun on a nice spring day.