Le Sigh
Whoops, it has been quite some time since I wrote anything here. It feels like I've been in a bubble this past month, probably more. Time doesn't really make much sense lately. Recently some things have been rough and I didn't know what to do. My health just seems to take over my life and I worry that it will drag the people in my life down with it. So I pushed people away and hid in my little cove. It probably also didn't help that the medication was slowly pulling me into a world of depression, anxiety, and panic attacks. I'm glad to be off it. I felt like some other person, and still at times do. It was like a gloomy, edgy electricity was always under my skin. I didn't want to talk to people and had to try to not be combative or standoffish, and it was scary to be like that. I'm not even sure why I am writing this down. It's just an emotional glob. But I guess it's in a way an apology to anyone out there for not picking up the phone to see how they were or to hang out, for being so wrapped up in my inner state that I left people behind. And as a statement that I am working to fix that.