the only people i truly enjoy are rachel, rocco, and elie.

[aloosedress]

hey, i thought i should let you know in case you aren't in the really cool haverhill circle of friends: I LIED ABOUT BEING BORN WITH A CANCEROUS TUMOR THAT I HAD REMOVED ONCE WHEN I WAS TWO YEARS OLD AND THEN AGAIN WHEN I WAS TWELVE. I DON'T HAVE TWENTY-FIVE STITCHES ON MY FOREHEAD FROM THE REMOVAL PROCEDURE AND I DON'T HAVE ABOUT A TRILLION PICTURES OF MYSELF AS A BABY WITH THIS WRETCHED ORANGE TUMOR ON MY FOREHEAD AROUND MY HOUSE. MY MOTHER NEVER MAKES JOKES ABOUT HOW I CAN'T GO TANNING BECAUSE OF SKIN CANCER AND I REALLY JUST FELL OFF MY BIKE. ALTHOUGH THE FALLING OFF MY BIKE THING PROBABLY ISN'T BEING CONFUSED WITH THE TIME THAT I FELL OFF MY BIKE WHILE HANGING OUT WITH ALICIA NOURY WHEN HER MOM USED TO BABY SIT ME AND I FLIPPED OVER THE HANDLE BARS AND SPLIT MY CHIN OPEN AND I HAVE A 8-STITCH SCAR THERE AS WELL. I DIDN'T SKIN MY ARMS AND LEGS AND GO TO THE FIRST GRADE BANDAGED UP FROM IT. I REALLY JUST WENT BACK IN TIME AND FAKED SKIN CANCER WHEN I WAS AN INFANT.

you got that?
good.
just thought you should hear it here first.

okay now seriously: eat a fucking dick.