(no subject)
So I was on my way to work Saturday morning, when I started puking profusely into a plastic sack in the car. That was a good time. I went into work and said something along the lines of 'Yeah. Going home.' So I did. I spent my day crocheting, stealing music, puking, and of course, on myspace. It was a good time. Then J came over after work and we were idiots as per usual.
Ok, so we know you might not like these. Or who knows, you may LOVE them. Either way you should read it all because well, we think its phucin' funny and you just should. Its not like you have anything better to do or you wouldn't A. be sitting at home on myspace on a Saturday night at 12 or B. have opened this bulletin in the first place. Like you didn't know what you were in for...
We love you. ♥
1)Who is the last person you high-fived?
Z: J. Duh. Who else would I high five at 11 pm when I have to get up at 3?
J: Z of course.. no one else likes me..
Z: =(
J: I'm not mad.
2) If you were drafted into a war, would you serve?
Z: Have we ever been involved in a war where the ultimate dispute wasn't god? Nope. Will we ever? Nope. Will I serve in a war under those circumstances? Yoouuuu guess it...nope.
J: nope!
3) Do you sleep with the tv on?
Z: Hasn't been on all day...no point in turning it on now. I mean, really, what is life without Mtv anyway?
J: for one, really fucking boring!! for two, yes i usually do!
Z: You would.
4) Have you ever wheezed the juice?
J: Which juice are we wheezin'?
Z: Who's juice?
J: Duh.
Z: Oh I've wheezed me some juice. I can't wait to wheez some more! Eyeliner! Mmmm....
5) Have you ever won a spelling bee?
Z: State champs in spell bowl nucca!
J: I came in fourth in the sixth grade!
Z: Ow ow!
6) Do you know how to scare a bee?
J: Step on the bitch.
Z: Straight up! Knife that mothaphuca.
7) How fast can you type?
Z: Faster when I don't have a snark or a phone or a cock in my hand. Hahaha.
J: it has been a fuckin while!
8) Are you afraid of the dark?
Z: The freaks come out at night *sings* The freaks come out at niiiiight.
J: seriously! don't make me close my eyes beyotch..
9) What color are your socks?
Z: I am sockless.
J: that was stupid!
Z: what? ah hell, phuc you buddy!
J: seriously..
10) Have you ever made out at a drive-in?
J: Where haven't we made out?
Z: My personal favorite is that stupid couch.
11) When is the last time you chose a bath over a shower?
Z: When J's shower decided to be a worthless piece of ass and not let me shower. She boiled water for me. It was sweet!
J: u can choose... i usually have to do both!
Z: Wait! I didn't consider masturbation to be a bath.
J: When's the last time you did that?
Z: Yesterday.
J: No wonder it took you so long to call me back. I say I need to talk to you and you say hmmm lets go masturbate.
Z: ...I'm sorry?
J: u bitch u should be
Z: I was frustrated.
J: i was too, thanks for considerating that one...
Z: You could have joined me but I used all the hot water.
J: i probably would have but i was at home tard!
Z: Ok tomorrow then?
J: ah fuck, gotta work on the car tomorrow... Hmmm. next sat?
Z: Werd dude. You gotta try that shit. My water pressure is amazing....lets move on.
12) Do you knock on wood?
J: Only a few,...
Z: Dude I was gonna say that.
13) Do you floss daily?
J: No...
Z: Dude who has time to floss? I think I only floss on days I go to the dentist. I'm a trickster.
14) Do you wanna Fanta?
Z: Don't you wanna wannalonna, don't you wanna wannalonna?? Hahaha I love that shit.
J: do you wanna fanta?
Z: No. But don't you wanna wannalonna, don't you wanna wannalonna? Ok I'll stop...
15) Can you hula hoop?
Z: Oh! We were just talking about this!
J: I never could get that shit. Could you?
Z: Yeah.
J: Duh. You do have the ass for it.
Z: I can swivle those hips like its nobody's business!
16) Are you good at keeping secrets?
Z: Only J's.
J: if i really want to i can.
Z: You tell my secrets and I'll cut you.
J: is that a promise or a dare?
Z: This is turning sexual isn't it?
J: uhhh
Z: Its ok dude I'm into that sort of thing...
J: like i don't already know this...
Z: Oh yeah. Moving on...
17) What do you want for Christmas?
Z: Thats like....sooooo far away dude. Lets think more along the lines of 'What do I want for Monday?'
J: Mmmmmmmm who phucin' knows?
Z: Well what do YOU want for Monday?
J: Duh. Seriously now is that a question?
Z: Action action! Here we come! Or cum...
J: 1.2.3....GO!
Z: Score! ...ok this could go on forever.
18) Do you know the Muffin Man?
J: The Muffin Man? You say the Muffin Man?! Who lives on Dreary Lane?!?!
Z: Dude...what the phuc...
19) Do you talk in your sleep?
Z: Oh phucin' probably.
J: No but I snore profusely.
Z: Yeah you phucin' do. I'm going to give you the Breathe Right strips instead of Dennis. ...No...wait. He rattles the phucing windows.
20) Who wrote the book of love?
Z: The KAMA SUTRA?!
J: there is such a thing as love? yes... it probably was kama sutra..
Z: God I need sex.
21) Have you ever flown a kite?
Z: Duh.
J: Seriously.
22) Do you wish on your fallen eyelashes?
Z: No but I make other people do it when I pull 'em off their faces. I'm all "*gasp!* Oh my god dude make a wish make a wish hurry up dude come on wiiiiiishhhhh!!" Yeah, something like that. I need a drink.
J: you have far too much time on ur hands...
Z: I know. Hence that whole needing a drink thing.
J: hence... gotta be at work in 4 phucing hours...
Z: Yeah....BUT if I call in I get paid for it! Hahahaha
J: true story.. that was pretty phucin funny
23) Do you whiten your teeth?
Z: I have an unopened box of white strips...
J: Why bother?
Z: No shit dude. I have the toothbrush tool on my photo editting software! Score!
24) Can you smell what the Rock is cooking?
Z: No but I smell cloves and laughing...wait...huh?
J: what? ah fuck we need to go to bed...
25) Have you ever asked for a pony?
Z: Why? I already have a horse coc....never mind.
J: No but I'll take a stallion!
Z: If I had a drink in my mouth I would have spit it out just now.
J: not me.. mine would have came out my nose!
Z: Dude that shit was projectile...I hope it happens again on Monday.
J: *serious face* ...I don't.
26) Have you, or would you ever, donate sperm/eggs?
Z: No I'll keep my eggs thanks and I'll accept sperm donations at any time. Wheez the juice!
J: Can't...stop...laughing...
27) Can you juggle?
J: Two or four?!
Z: *mouth drops* You. Are. Amazing.
J: Thanks. I know right?
Z: Whoa dude. That was way better than my wheezin' the juice.
29) If you could enact any new law, what would it be?
Z: Alcohol on Sundays?
J: Seriously... That's about the only time you phucin' run out.
Z: Its a problem. *hides face in shame*
J: No its not! Bottle of wine behind the chair!
Z: I know. Its been taunting me for the last 4 hours...Its for Monday though, its for Monday...
30) Do the chickens have large talons?
Z: "I don't understand a word you just said boy."
J: Huh?
Z: Napoleon dude. God. Working in that phucing video store has eaten away at my brain cells.
J: I didn't like the movie.
31) If you had only enough energy left in you for one last smile, who would you give it to?
Z: I'd make sure everyone I know was in the room with me, then I'd smile, and flip them off, and blow them a kiss. That counts right?
J: my punky of course!!
32) Are you ready to rumble?
Z: My razor is out.
J: depends who, where and what food is involved!
Z: Yeah dude, we don't rumble in Where Else, so knock it off Jake's cunt. Not gonna happen. Catch us outside.
33) Can you count to Schfifty-Five?
Z: I don't get this.
J: huh...
34) Have you ever been suspended or expelled from school?
Z: Both. Damnit. Stupid pop machine and that girl's head collided. Accident!
J: whatever.. u can lie to everyone else but i know how u r...
Z: Yeah well don't tell anybody. If they think I'm not tough they won't wanna roll with me and then we won't get kicked outta ANOTHER bar.
J: like i would fool! they kicked us out cuz they're scerrrd to roll w/ u.
Z: Awww thanks! Yeah that, and well, I win at life and she lost.
J: duh! she can't help that she sux at life... it's not ur fault she's a stupid cunt and ur life rules and hers doesn't!
35) How do you spell relief?
Z: I have several way. V O D K A and S E X and S P E E D and J.
J: letters of confidence. punky. snarks, liquor and Z!Z!Z!Z!Z!
Z: Oooh! And M Y S P A C E.
36) Have you ever crawled through a window?
Z: I have, but I prefer doors.
J: it's a damn good thing i don't have nuts..it was raining and i fell!
Z: Nice!
37) Have you ever eaten dog food?
Z: Nope. Is there money involved?
J: ...I...uhh....tried it once when I was a kid. Shhh.
38) Can you handle the truth?
Z: Absolutely not. I prefer my fantasy life as opposed to reality thanks.
J: not very well... i try... but it usually doesn't work
39) Do you like green eggs and ham?
Z: Nah...I don't do green stuff that shouldn't be green.
J: Well...I DO! Hmph.
40) Who is your daddy? and what does he do?
Z: Oh god. Buys hookers, sells heroin, molests small children, kills babies, kicks kittens, name it.
J: If you knew me, you'd know.
Z: That was fun.
J: it was but we should do another one!
Z: Dude, look at the clock.
J: OHH! well no shit shirlock... we're doin another one n e way! check back n a few minutes bitches!!
Z: ohhhh shit. Ok but if I have to call in, I have to call in. *wink*
J: no, no, no, god blessit... i didn't get the day off. ur going in n e way beyotch... bcz...well, u love me!
Z: *sings* Love BITES!!
Ok, so this was fun too. We liked it. You probably will too. Shit, you might even be part of it! Good luck with that...
♥
Name 9 people you can think of right off the top of your head. Don't read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 9 people. This is a lot funnier if you actually randomly list
the names first.. No cheating!!!
Z's NINE:
1. J.
2. Branden.
3. Jayson.
4. Lindzaroni.
5. Dennis.
6. Clint.
7. Kaylia.
8. Kerry.
9. Adam W.
J's NINE
1. Z.
2. Chuck.
3. Kyle.
4. Oliver.
5. Norm.
6. Niffer.
7. Hot Box Brandon.
8. Dustin.
9. Branden.
How did you meet # 4?
Z: Wellll....we were wee little ladies, fighting over the same boy. Ditched the boy and fell madly in love with each other!
J: Ummmmm high school. Enough said.
Do you like anyone on here?
Z: Now why would we have put them if we didn't like them?
J: Duh.
What would you do if you hadn't met number 1?
Z: Died.
J: continued living a boring, love less miserable life..
What would you do if 1 and 2 were going out?
Z: Be their maid of honor and have sex with both of them. Duh.
J: Phucing get in the middle. Thats a stupid question.
How did you meet 8?
Z: Probably at the Skate Corral. We used to roll with that crew.
J: Basketball courts...Big ole city o' Oxtucky.
What do you think of number 7?
Z: I'm actually kinda worried about the bitch. She's missing at the moment. She does that sort of thing. I love her dearly. No one will ever be able to do the robot like that whore can!
J: Well....he has a beard....he can kiss....he's a drunk?...pretty good time to hang out with.
Z: Sounds good to me.
What would you do if 3 confessed they love you?
Z: Slap him in the face and tell him to knock that shit off. Then tell him I love him back but its not stupid mushy love, its best friend love. Duh.
J: Awww!
Z: You're like so wet now aren't you?
J: Not yet. I wish. Monday.
Is number 2 your best friend?
Z: He's one of 'em.
J: One of 'em.
Whose 9's best friend?
Z: Well it should be me. We'll work on that Adam.
J: I don't know...Jason?
Z: Yep!!
Did you ever eat around 6?
Z: Oh my god dude...remember that time at Steak 'n' Shake when we were ALL KINDS of stoned and we only had thirty two cents to leave as a tip?! So we did. Phuc yes I eat around my boys.
J: Nope, never had the chance.
Z: Oh you've had the chance but you were too busy sitting there reading Post Secret and making out.
Do you miss number 1?
Z: Nah she's right here.
J: Bout 95% of the time.
Z: We uhhh can't go more than an hour without talking. Its literally impossible. Our text inboxes can prove this.
Who's 5?
Z: A little redheaded Hiv infested slut that I've grown to love dearly. ...And he has a sweet couch.
J: i used to think he was everything at one time but now he's just the father to my beautiful perfect little punky!
What is your opinion of number 4?
Z: She is the best redhead on this Earth. Without her, the Z Team wouldn't be the Z Team. I miss my Roni.
J: mullets went out in 93. one stripe? c'mon.. can u say multiple personalites...
Z: Dude....when you typed what you typed and then deleted...I went to cover my mouth and smacked my tooth with a ring. Genius. But yeah Oliver, phucing cut that shit bitch.
J: PLEASE DELETE MY NUMBER!!!!
J: sorry z, blew kiss wrong way. clearly hurt ur tooth not ur ring..
Z: Ok bad part about that is...I didn't even notice.
What do you think about number 9?
Z: I like where his head's at. He listens to Bjork and is going to read my Poppy and Craig. Ow ow! Plus he's all small and cuddley like.
J: tall, skinny, smart as hell and clearly an awesome guy.
What would you do if 3 and 9 were going out?
Z: That would actually be really cute I'm not kidding...
J: I couldn't get in the middle of that...
Z: It would be pretty hot though. I'd watch.
J: Well I didn't say I wouldn't watch...
Who does 5 like?
Z: Me me me me me ALL ME. Back off hookers I'll slit your throats.
J: his army girlfriend that better stay the fuck away from my punky
Do you have any special thing you do with 3?
Z: Oh my god. Parental Control and Next marathons, checking each others teeth, we're always each others dates at Clint's parties ((you know, until we find someone to make out with)), Steak 'n' Shake in the wee hours of the morning, and THE PLAYPEN!
J: Its called a Monday...
Would you marry #1?
Z: That's not legal. But yes.
J: It doesn't have to be legal I'm already married to you.
Z: I know. We should get rings! WAIT! The tats I forgot...
When did you last see 4?
Z: Too phucing long ago. I saw her pretty face in a picture earlier but that's it since like September. I missssss my Roni godblessitshitphucasscock.
J: Monday...
Ever slept in the same room as any of the numbers?
Z: Everyone but Adam and that'll be changed Monday. Most of them have been the same bed.
J: All but three.
Do you trust them?
Z: Only Jayson, Lindz and J REALLY. I guess Branden can be up on there too.
J: Only one. My Z.
Z: Aw me!
Name one memory you have with #3.
Z: That time at Linz's house, with Dustin, tied to the chair, lapdance, ahhh shit son. One of many fantastic times!
J: Brandon's birthday...shoulda been more. Probably will be. Hopefully.
The most fun you've ever had with #8?
Z: Back in the day Level 9 shows and Meijer shopping, and more recently, uh, Jake's.
J: Almost breakin' the damn bunk bed...
How close are you to #9?
Z: Uh we've only known each other for like three weeks.
J: Not very. We're on different levels. He doesn't find my stupidity very humorous.
And finally, who on this list do you think had the biggest impact on your life?
Z: Wait wait wait. This isn't really possible. J, Linz, Jayson, Clint, and Kaylia are just flat out amazing. Branden is rather obvious. Kerry is the shit, but we need to hang out more. Adam hasn't had his chance to make that mark yet. And Dennis...ah. Well. ...
J: norm by far. wish it wasn't the case. but that's impact that i can't change. the impact that i never want to change is Z.
At about 2 am, I realized that getting up and getting ready for work in an hour just really wasn't ok with me. So I called in again. =) I did the exact same thing as the day before, only THIS time, I ate some food too.
What else am I going to do on Sick Day Part 2?!
FIFTEEN AND THEN SOME.
Fifteen songs you're diggin' on at the moment.
1. Sister - She Wants Revenge.
2. Brick - Ben Folds Five.
3. Cyberpunks Are Dead - Atari Teenage Riot.
4. Rootless Tree - Damien Rice.
5. The Maid Needs A Maid - Emily Haines.
6. My Violent Heart - Nine Inch Nails.
7. A Dream For Us - The Appleseed Cast.
8. Marigold and Patchwork - The Appleseed Cast.
9. Oh My Goth! - Razed In Black.
10. All Mine - Portishead.
11. Easy, Lucky, Free - Bright Eyes.
12. Needle In The Hay - Elliott Smith.
13. Talk To Strangers - Saul Williams.
14. Tick ((live)) - Yeah Yeah Yeahs.
15. Black Coffee - Bjork and Tricky.
Yep, that's pretty much been my list for the past two days...
Fourteen bands you'd die without
1. Nine Inch Nails.
2. Modest Mouse.
3. Prick.
4. Garbage.
5. Switchblade Symphony.
6. Placebo.
7. Ours.
8. Goldfrapp.
9. The Mars Volta.
10. Muse.
11. Bright Eyes.
12. Cursive.
13. The Cure.
14. KMFDM.
Yeah there's no way that can be narrowed down any farther. That was hard enough.
Thirteen movies you could watch on repeat
1. Jawbreaker.
2. Grease.
3. Interview With The Vampire.
4. Lost Highway.
5. True Romance.
6. Dead Alive.
7. Cannibal The Musical.
8. Ghost World.
9. Fight Club.
10. Cruel Intentions.
11. Blue Velvet.
12. Napoleon Dynamite. ((Sorry, but I will never get over it. It will always be funny.))
13. Any and all music dvds that I have.
Twelve celebrities you might do
1. Jerome Dillon.
2. Daniel Johns.
3. Britney Spears pre-babies.
4. Tyson Ritter.
5. Bam Margera.
6. Allison Goldfrapp.
7. Adam Levine.
8. Conor Oberst. ((Shut up. Like you wouldn't.))
9. Jeff Buckley. ((You know, if he was alive.))
10. Kate Beckinsale. ((But only in the Underworld movies. Oooh that's another band I'd die without...))
11. Brian Molko.
12. Aaaaaand Rose McGowan, as she is the epitome of all that is female beauty.
Eleven bands you've seen live
1. Nine Inch Nails.
2. Placebo.
3. Marilyn Manson.
4. Bright Eyes.
5. My Morning Jacket.
6. Thrill Kill Kult.
7. She Wants Revenge.
8. Ministry.
9. Queens Of The Stone Age.
10. Mindless Self Indulgence.
11. Insane Clown Posse. ((And yes, it WAS fun. Shove it up your ass.))
Ten things to do to pass the time
1. These ridiculous thingys.
2. Steal music.
3. Reeeeeeeeead.
4. Make hella sweet scarves.
5. Harass people via text messages.
6. HGtv.
7. Pillow sewin'.
8. I guess I could clean, but who really wants to do that on a day off?
9. Dress my cat up in clothes and pretend like she's a kid. Ohhhh wait. That's reserved for those weirdos at work. Sorry Nik.
10. Myspace and YouTube. My loves. ♥
Nine books you're glad you read
1. What if these are ALL Poppy? Oh well. Lost Souls.
2. Drawing Blood.
3. Exquisite Corpse.
4. Wormwood.
5. Are You Loathsome Tonight?
6. Breakfast Of Champions.
7. Between The Bridge And The River.
8. A Dirty Job.
9. The Quantum Zoo.
Eight tv shows that you can watch
1. South Park.
2. Oprah.
3. American Idol.
4. Ummm....I don't watch tv.
5. This is really hard.
6. Ooooh SEALAB!
7. Ridiculous Mtv shows but I have no Mtv so that's a no go.
8. TWIN PEAKS! Duh!
Seven pop songs you can tolerate
1. Uh oh. All Britney Spears.
2. Speak - Lindsay Lohan.
3. La La - Ashlee Simpson. I like that Boyfriend song too.
4. The All American Rejects. I like his voice. Just ignore the lyrics.
5. I can dig on a little bit of Panic At The Disco. Just don't tell anyone.
6. Ooooh Maneater - Nelly Furtado. That song is cool.
7. J actually has me singing that Akon song in my head now. I don't think it means I like it, but it definately gets stuck in there.
Six authors you're glad exist
1. Poppy Z. Brite.
2. Clive Barker.
3. Kurt Vonnegut.
4. Gregory Maguire.
5. Christopher Moore.
6. Craig Ferguson. ((If he doesn't write another one soon I will start shooting people.))
Five places you've been meaning to go
1. To the shower...I just haven't gotten around to that today. Or yesterday. Ewww.
2. New Orleans.
3. More shows. I'm slacking in a big way.
4. Somewhere nice and toasty with sand and water and WAIT! I'm so going there in 19 days! Haha suckers.
5. To visit my mom and brother. Again with the slacking.
Four things you're excited for
1. My Coachella sleepover tomorrow.
2. Saturday with my ladies.
3. The Elvis Perkins show and POSSIBLY seeing The Appleseed Cast if I can talk the homies into delaying Florida for a day or two.
4. The previously mentioned toastiness and water and sand and music and ahhhhhhh!
Three lyrics from three songs
1. ...She sends me pictures of the ocean in an envelope, so there still is hope. Yes, I can be healed. There is someone looking for what I've concealed. In my secret drawer, in my pockets deep, you will find the reasons that I can't sleep and you will still want me. But will you still want me? ((That's always been a favorite.))
2. ...You can occupy my every sigh, you can rent a space inside my mind, at least until the price becomes too high. I can find a reason that we should quit, I can find a reason to do it. I can find excuses for all my shit. She tells me just to work right through it.
3. ...Please, take this, and run far away from me. I am tainted. The two of us were never meant to be. All these pieces and promises and left behinds, if only I could see...in my nothing, you meant everything. Everything to me. Gone, fading everything. And all that could have been.
Two instruments you play or want to
1. Can't play a damned thing...would love to play the cello.
2. And better piano.
One goal before you die
1. Speak perfect Arabic.
Monday, I made myself get up and do shit, because well, that's what you do on a Monday. After work we ate and showered and what have you and blah blah blah normal Monday stuff, you get it. There are pictures, but I'm only in like one of them, so really, what's the point? But know this: sleeping in a room with three boys who snore will result in waking up at 5 am in a bad mood. Stupid phucing couch.
So Tuesday morning J picked me up at Dennis's and we went to the Ville so she could go to the dentist and I could visit my motha. Thhheeeennnnnn we went to Mind's Eye and yes, we got matching tattoos. =) We wanted little hearts on the inside of our bottom lips but Mark said no so we got 'em on our wrists instead. Yes, they're adorable. No, I'm not going to regret it. Yes, we'll take a picture later today. And yes, this whole tattoo thing is becoming a problem for me. They really are addicting.
So now I'm at the stupid phucing video store. Today was supposed to be the day that I tell bosslady I'm done, but she's avoiding me like the plague so I don't know if that's gonna happen or not. >=( Stupid video store. Honestly.
Ok, so we know you might not like these. Or who knows, you may LOVE them. Either way you should read it all because well, we think its phucin' funny and you just should. Its not like you have anything better to do or you wouldn't A. be sitting at home on myspace on a Saturday night at 12 or B. have opened this bulletin in the first place. Like you didn't know what you were in for...
We love you. ♥
1)Who is the last person you high-fived?
Z: J. Duh. Who else would I high five at 11 pm when I have to get up at 3?
J: Z of course.. no one else likes me..
Z: =(
J: I'm not mad.
2) If you were drafted into a war, would you serve?
Z: Have we ever been involved in a war where the ultimate dispute wasn't god? Nope. Will we ever? Nope. Will I serve in a war under those circumstances? Yoouuuu guess it...nope.
J: nope!
3) Do you sleep with the tv on?
Z: Hasn't been on all day...no point in turning it on now. I mean, really, what is life without Mtv anyway?
J: for one, really fucking boring!! for two, yes i usually do!
Z: You would.
4) Have you ever wheezed the juice?
J: Which juice are we wheezin'?
Z: Who's juice?
J: Duh.
Z: Oh I've wheezed me some juice. I can't wait to wheez some more! Eyeliner! Mmmm....
5) Have you ever won a spelling bee?
Z: State champs in spell bowl nucca!
J: I came in fourth in the sixth grade!
Z: Ow ow!
6) Do you know how to scare a bee?
J: Step on the bitch.
Z: Straight up! Knife that mothaphuca.
7) How fast can you type?
Z: Faster when I don't have a snark or a phone or a cock in my hand. Hahaha.
J: it has been a fuckin while!
8) Are you afraid of the dark?
Z: The freaks come out at night *sings* The freaks come out at niiiiight.
J: seriously! don't make me close my eyes beyotch..
9) What color are your socks?
Z: I am sockless.
J: that was stupid!
Z: what? ah hell, phuc you buddy!
J: seriously..
10) Have you ever made out at a drive-in?
J: Where haven't we made out?
Z: My personal favorite is that stupid couch.
11) When is the last time you chose a bath over a shower?
Z: When J's shower decided to be a worthless piece of ass and not let me shower. She boiled water for me. It was sweet!
J: u can choose... i usually have to do both!
Z: Wait! I didn't consider masturbation to be a bath.
J: When's the last time you did that?
Z: Yesterday.
J: No wonder it took you so long to call me back. I say I need to talk to you and you say hmmm lets go masturbate.
Z: ...I'm sorry?
J: u bitch u should be
Z: I was frustrated.
J: i was too, thanks for considerating that one...
Z: You could have joined me but I used all the hot water.
J: i probably would have but i was at home tard!
Z: Ok tomorrow then?
J: ah fuck, gotta work on the car tomorrow... Hmmm. next sat?
Z: Werd dude. You gotta try that shit. My water pressure is amazing....lets move on.
12) Do you knock on wood?
J: Only a few,...
Z: Dude I was gonna say that.
13) Do you floss daily?
J: No...
Z: Dude who has time to floss? I think I only floss on days I go to the dentist. I'm a trickster.
14) Do you wanna Fanta?
Z: Don't you wanna wannalonna, don't you wanna wannalonna?? Hahaha I love that shit.
J: do you wanna fanta?
Z: No. But don't you wanna wannalonna, don't you wanna wannalonna? Ok I'll stop...
15) Can you hula hoop?
Z: Oh! We were just talking about this!
J: I never could get that shit. Could you?
Z: Yeah.
J: Duh. You do have the ass for it.
Z: I can swivle those hips like its nobody's business!
16) Are you good at keeping secrets?
Z: Only J's.
J: if i really want to i can.
Z: You tell my secrets and I'll cut you.
J: is that a promise or a dare?
Z: This is turning sexual isn't it?
J: uhhh
Z: Its ok dude I'm into that sort of thing...
J: like i don't already know this...
Z: Oh yeah. Moving on...
17) What do you want for Christmas?
Z: Thats like....sooooo far away dude. Lets think more along the lines of 'What do I want for Monday?'
J: Mmmmmmmm who phucin' knows?
Z: Well what do YOU want for Monday?
J: Duh. Seriously now is that a question?
Z: Action action! Here we come! Or cum...
J: 1.2.3....GO!
Z: Score! ...ok this could go on forever.
18) Do you know the Muffin Man?
J: The Muffin Man? You say the Muffin Man?! Who lives on Dreary Lane?!?!
Z: Dude...what the phuc...
19) Do you talk in your sleep?
Z: Oh phucin' probably.
J: No but I snore profusely.
Z: Yeah you phucin' do. I'm going to give you the Breathe Right strips instead of Dennis. ...No...wait. He rattles the phucing windows.
20) Who wrote the book of love?
Z: The KAMA SUTRA?!
J: there is such a thing as love? yes... it probably was kama sutra..
Z: God I need sex.
21) Have you ever flown a kite?
Z: Duh.
J: Seriously.
22) Do you wish on your fallen eyelashes?
Z: No but I make other people do it when I pull 'em off their faces. I'm all "*gasp!* Oh my god dude make a wish make a wish hurry up dude come on wiiiiiishhhhh!!" Yeah, something like that. I need a drink.
J: you have far too much time on ur hands...
Z: I know. Hence that whole needing a drink thing.
J: hence... gotta be at work in 4 phucing hours...
Z: Yeah....BUT if I call in I get paid for it! Hahahaha
J: true story.. that was pretty phucin funny
23) Do you whiten your teeth?
Z: I have an unopened box of white strips...
J: Why bother?
Z: No shit dude. I have the toothbrush tool on my photo editting software! Score!
24) Can you smell what the Rock is cooking?
Z: No but I smell cloves and laughing...wait...huh?
J: what? ah fuck we need to go to bed...
25) Have you ever asked for a pony?
Z: Why? I already have a horse coc....never mind.
J: No but I'll take a stallion!
Z: If I had a drink in my mouth I would have spit it out just now.
J: not me.. mine would have came out my nose!
Z: Dude that shit was projectile...I hope it happens again on Monday.
J: *serious face* ...I don't.
26) Have you, or would you ever, donate sperm/eggs?
Z: No I'll keep my eggs thanks and I'll accept sperm donations at any time. Wheez the juice!
J: Can't...stop...laughing...
27) Can you juggle?
J: Two or four?!
Z: *mouth drops* You. Are. Amazing.
J: Thanks. I know right?
Z: Whoa dude. That was way better than my wheezin' the juice.
29) If you could enact any new law, what would it be?
Z: Alcohol on Sundays?
J: Seriously... That's about the only time you phucin' run out.
Z: Its a problem. *hides face in shame*
J: No its not! Bottle of wine behind the chair!
Z: I know. Its been taunting me for the last 4 hours...Its for Monday though, its for Monday...
30) Do the chickens have large talons?
Z: "I don't understand a word you just said boy."
J: Huh?
Z: Napoleon dude. God. Working in that phucing video store has eaten away at my brain cells.
J: I didn't like the movie.
31) If you had only enough energy left in you for one last smile, who would you give it to?
Z: I'd make sure everyone I know was in the room with me, then I'd smile, and flip them off, and blow them a kiss. That counts right?
J: my punky of course!!
32) Are you ready to rumble?
Z: My razor is out.
J: depends who, where and what food is involved!
Z: Yeah dude, we don't rumble in Where Else, so knock it off Jake's cunt. Not gonna happen. Catch us outside.
33) Can you count to Schfifty-Five?
Z: I don't get this.
J: huh...
34) Have you ever been suspended or expelled from school?
Z: Both. Damnit. Stupid pop machine and that girl's head collided. Accident!
J: whatever.. u can lie to everyone else but i know how u r...
Z: Yeah well don't tell anybody. If they think I'm not tough they won't wanna roll with me and then we won't get kicked outta ANOTHER bar.
J: like i would fool! they kicked us out cuz they're scerrrd to roll w/ u.
Z: Awww thanks! Yeah that, and well, I win at life and she lost.
J: duh! she can't help that she sux at life... it's not ur fault she's a stupid cunt and ur life rules and hers doesn't!
35) How do you spell relief?
Z: I have several way. V O D K A and S E X and S P E E D and J.
J: letters of confidence. punky. snarks, liquor and Z!Z!Z!Z!Z!
Z: Oooh! And M Y S P A C E.
36) Have you ever crawled through a window?
Z: I have, but I prefer doors.
J: it's a damn good thing i don't have nuts..it was raining and i fell!
Z: Nice!
37) Have you ever eaten dog food?
Z: Nope. Is there money involved?
J: ...I...uhh....tried it once when I was a kid. Shhh.
38) Can you handle the truth?
Z: Absolutely not. I prefer my fantasy life as opposed to reality thanks.
J: not very well... i try... but it usually doesn't work
39) Do you like green eggs and ham?
Z: Nah...I don't do green stuff that shouldn't be green.
J: Well...I DO! Hmph.
40) Who is your daddy? and what does he do?
Z: Oh god. Buys hookers, sells heroin, molests small children, kills babies, kicks kittens, name it.
J: If you knew me, you'd know.
Z: That was fun.
J: it was but we should do another one!
Z: Dude, look at the clock.
J: OHH! well no shit shirlock... we're doin another one n e way! check back n a few minutes bitches!!
Z: ohhhh shit. Ok but if I have to call in, I have to call in. *wink*
J: no, no, no, god blessit... i didn't get the day off. ur going in n e way beyotch... bcz...well, u love me!
Z: *sings* Love BITES!!
Ok, so this was fun too. We liked it. You probably will too. Shit, you might even be part of it! Good luck with that...
♥
Name 9 people you can think of right off the top of your head. Don't read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 9 people. This is a lot funnier if you actually randomly list
the names first.. No cheating!!!
Z's NINE:
1. J.
2. Branden.
3. Jayson.
4. Lindzaroni.
5. Dennis.
6. Clint.
7. Kaylia.
8. Kerry.
9. Adam W.
J's NINE
1. Z.
2. Chuck.
3. Kyle.
4. Oliver.
5. Norm.
6. Niffer.
7. Hot Box Brandon.
8. Dustin.
9. Branden.
How did you meet # 4?
Z: Wellll....we were wee little ladies, fighting over the same boy. Ditched the boy and fell madly in love with each other!
J: Ummmmm high school. Enough said.
Do you like anyone on here?
Z: Now why would we have put them if we didn't like them?
J: Duh.
What would you do if you hadn't met number 1?
Z: Died.
J: continued living a boring, love less miserable life..
What would you do if 1 and 2 were going out?
Z: Be their maid of honor and have sex with both of them. Duh.
J: Phucing get in the middle. Thats a stupid question.
How did you meet 8?
Z: Probably at the Skate Corral. We used to roll with that crew.
J: Basketball courts...Big ole city o' Oxtucky.
What do you think of number 7?
Z: I'm actually kinda worried about the bitch. She's missing at the moment. She does that sort of thing. I love her dearly. No one will ever be able to do the robot like that whore can!
J: Well....he has a beard....he can kiss....he's a drunk?...pretty good time to hang out with.
Z: Sounds good to me.
What would you do if 3 confessed they love you?
Z: Slap him in the face and tell him to knock that shit off. Then tell him I love him back but its not stupid mushy love, its best friend love. Duh.
J: Awww!
Z: You're like so wet now aren't you?
J: Not yet. I wish. Monday.
Is number 2 your best friend?
Z: He's one of 'em.
J: One of 'em.
Whose 9's best friend?
Z: Well it should be me. We'll work on that Adam.
J: I don't know...Jason?
Z: Yep!!
Did you ever eat around 6?
Z: Oh my god dude...remember that time at Steak 'n' Shake when we were ALL KINDS of stoned and we only had thirty two cents to leave as a tip?! So we did. Phuc yes I eat around my boys.
J: Nope, never had the chance.
Z: Oh you've had the chance but you were too busy sitting there reading Post Secret and making out.
Do you miss number 1?
Z: Nah she's right here.
J: Bout 95% of the time.
Z: We uhhh can't go more than an hour without talking. Its literally impossible. Our text inboxes can prove this.
Who's 5?
Z: A little redheaded Hiv infested slut that I've grown to love dearly. ...And he has a sweet couch.
J: i used to think he was everything at one time but now he's just the father to my beautiful perfect little punky!
What is your opinion of number 4?
Z: She is the best redhead on this Earth. Without her, the Z Team wouldn't be the Z Team. I miss my Roni.
J: mullets went out in 93. one stripe? c'mon.. can u say multiple personalites...
Z: Dude....when you typed what you typed and then deleted...I went to cover my mouth and smacked my tooth with a ring. Genius. But yeah Oliver, phucing cut that shit bitch.
J: PLEASE DELETE MY NUMBER!!!!
J: sorry z, blew kiss wrong way. clearly hurt ur tooth not ur ring..
Z: Ok bad part about that is...I didn't even notice.
What do you think about number 9?
Z: I like where his head's at. He listens to Bjork and is going to read my Poppy and Craig. Ow ow! Plus he's all small and cuddley like.
J: tall, skinny, smart as hell and clearly an awesome guy.
What would you do if 3 and 9 were going out?
Z: That would actually be really cute I'm not kidding...
J: I couldn't get in the middle of that...
Z: It would be pretty hot though. I'd watch.
J: Well I didn't say I wouldn't watch...
Who does 5 like?
Z: Me me me me me ALL ME. Back off hookers I'll slit your throats.
J: his army girlfriend that better stay the fuck away from my punky
Do you have any special thing you do with 3?
Z: Oh my god. Parental Control and Next marathons, checking each others teeth, we're always each others dates at Clint's parties ((you know, until we find someone to make out with)), Steak 'n' Shake in the wee hours of the morning, and THE PLAYPEN!
J: Its called a Monday...
Would you marry #1?
Z: That's not legal. But yes.
J: It doesn't have to be legal I'm already married to you.
Z: I know. We should get rings! WAIT! The tats I forgot...
When did you last see 4?
Z: Too phucing long ago. I saw her pretty face in a picture earlier but that's it since like September. I missssss my Roni godblessitshitphucasscock.
J: Monday...
Ever slept in the same room as any of the numbers?
Z: Everyone but Adam and that'll be changed Monday. Most of them have been the same bed.
J: All but three.
Do you trust them?
Z: Only Jayson, Lindz and J REALLY. I guess Branden can be up on there too.
J: Only one. My Z.
Z: Aw me!
Name one memory you have with #3.
Z: That time at Linz's house, with Dustin, tied to the chair, lapdance, ahhh shit son. One of many fantastic times!
J: Brandon's birthday...shoulda been more. Probably will be. Hopefully.
The most fun you've ever had with #8?
Z: Back in the day Level 9 shows and Meijer shopping, and more recently, uh, Jake's.
J: Almost breakin' the damn bunk bed...
How close are you to #9?
Z: Uh we've only known each other for like three weeks.
J: Not very. We're on different levels. He doesn't find my stupidity very humorous.
And finally, who on this list do you think had the biggest impact on your life?
Z: Wait wait wait. This isn't really possible. J, Linz, Jayson, Clint, and Kaylia are just flat out amazing. Branden is rather obvious. Kerry is the shit, but we need to hang out more. Adam hasn't had his chance to make that mark yet. And Dennis...ah. Well. ...
J: norm by far. wish it wasn't the case. but that's impact that i can't change. the impact that i never want to change is Z.
At about 2 am, I realized that getting up and getting ready for work in an hour just really wasn't ok with me. So I called in again. =) I did the exact same thing as the day before, only THIS time, I ate some food too.
What else am I going to do on Sick Day Part 2?!
FIFTEEN AND THEN SOME.
Fifteen songs you're diggin' on at the moment.
1. Sister - She Wants Revenge.
2. Brick - Ben Folds Five.
3. Cyberpunks Are Dead - Atari Teenage Riot.
4. Rootless Tree - Damien Rice.
5. The Maid Needs A Maid - Emily Haines.
6. My Violent Heart - Nine Inch Nails.
7. A Dream For Us - The Appleseed Cast.
8. Marigold and Patchwork - The Appleseed Cast.
9. Oh My Goth! - Razed In Black.
10. All Mine - Portishead.
11. Easy, Lucky, Free - Bright Eyes.
12. Needle In The Hay - Elliott Smith.
13. Talk To Strangers - Saul Williams.
14. Tick ((live)) - Yeah Yeah Yeahs.
15. Black Coffee - Bjork and Tricky.
Yep, that's pretty much been my list for the past two days...
Fourteen bands you'd die without
1. Nine Inch Nails.
2. Modest Mouse.
3. Prick.
4. Garbage.
5. Switchblade Symphony.
6. Placebo.
7. Ours.
8. Goldfrapp.
9. The Mars Volta.
10. Muse.
11. Bright Eyes.
12. Cursive.
13. The Cure.
14. KMFDM.
Yeah there's no way that can be narrowed down any farther. That was hard enough.
Thirteen movies you could watch on repeat
1. Jawbreaker.
2. Grease.
3. Interview With The Vampire.
4. Lost Highway.
5. True Romance.
6. Dead Alive.
7. Cannibal The Musical.
8. Ghost World.
9. Fight Club.
10. Cruel Intentions.
11. Blue Velvet.
12. Napoleon Dynamite. ((Sorry, but I will never get over it. It will always be funny.))
13. Any and all music dvds that I have.
Twelve celebrities you might do
1. Jerome Dillon.
2. Daniel Johns.
3. Britney Spears pre-babies.
4. Tyson Ritter.
5. Bam Margera.
6. Allison Goldfrapp.
7. Adam Levine.
8. Conor Oberst. ((Shut up. Like you wouldn't.))
9. Jeff Buckley. ((You know, if he was alive.))
10. Kate Beckinsale. ((But only in the Underworld movies. Oooh that's another band I'd die without...))
11. Brian Molko.
12. Aaaaaand Rose McGowan, as she is the epitome of all that is female beauty.
Eleven bands you've seen live
1. Nine Inch Nails.
2. Placebo.
3. Marilyn Manson.
4. Bright Eyes.
5. My Morning Jacket.
6. Thrill Kill Kult.
7. She Wants Revenge.
8. Ministry.
9. Queens Of The Stone Age.
10. Mindless Self Indulgence.
11. Insane Clown Posse. ((And yes, it WAS fun. Shove it up your ass.))
Ten things to do to pass the time
1. These ridiculous thingys.
2. Steal music.
3. Reeeeeeeeead.
4. Make hella sweet scarves.
5. Harass people via text messages.
6. HGtv.
7. Pillow sewin'.
8. I guess I could clean, but who really wants to do that on a day off?
9. Dress my cat up in clothes and pretend like she's a kid. Ohhhh wait. That's reserved for those weirdos at work. Sorry Nik.
10. Myspace and YouTube. My loves. ♥
Nine books you're glad you read
1. What if these are ALL Poppy? Oh well. Lost Souls.
2. Drawing Blood.
3. Exquisite Corpse.
4. Wormwood.
5. Are You Loathsome Tonight?
6. Breakfast Of Champions.
7. Between The Bridge And The River.
8. A Dirty Job.
9. The Quantum Zoo.
Eight tv shows that you can watch
1. South Park.
2. Oprah.
3. American Idol.
4. Ummm....I don't watch tv.
5. This is really hard.
6. Ooooh SEALAB!
7. Ridiculous Mtv shows but I have no Mtv so that's a no go.
8. TWIN PEAKS! Duh!
Seven pop songs you can tolerate
1. Uh oh. All Britney Spears.
2. Speak - Lindsay Lohan.
3. La La - Ashlee Simpson. I like that Boyfriend song too.
4. The All American Rejects. I like his voice. Just ignore the lyrics.
5. I can dig on a little bit of Panic At The Disco. Just don't tell anyone.
6. Ooooh Maneater - Nelly Furtado. That song is cool.
7. J actually has me singing that Akon song in my head now. I don't think it means I like it, but it definately gets stuck in there.
Six authors you're glad exist
1. Poppy Z. Brite.
2. Clive Barker.
3. Kurt Vonnegut.
4. Gregory Maguire.
5. Christopher Moore.
6. Craig Ferguson. ((If he doesn't write another one soon I will start shooting people.))
Five places you've been meaning to go
1. To the shower...I just haven't gotten around to that today. Or yesterday. Ewww.
2. New Orleans.
3. More shows. I'm slacking in a big way.
4. Somewhere nice and toasty with sand and water and WAIT! I'm so going there in 19 days! Haha suckers.
5. To visit my mom and brother. Again with the slacking.
Four things you're excited for
1. My Coachella sleepover tomorrow.
2. Saturday with my ladies.
3. The Elvis Perkins show and POSSIBLY seeing The Appleseed Cast if I can talk the homies into delaying Florida for a day or two.
4. The previously mentioned toastiness and water and sand and music and ahhhhhhh!
Three lyrics from three songs
1. ...She sends me pictures of the ocean in an envelope, so there still is hope. Yes, I can be healed. There is someone looking for what I've concealed. In my secret drawer, in my pockets deep, you will find the reasons that I can't sleep and you will still want me. But will you still want me? ((That's always been a favorite.))
2. ...You can occupy my every sigh, you can rent a space inside my mind, at least until the price becomes too high. I can find a reason that we should quit, I can find a reason to do it. I can find excuses for all my shit. She tells me just to work right through it.
3. ...Please, take this, and run far away from me. I am tainted. The two of us were never meant to be. All these pieces and promises and left behinds, if only I could see...in my nothing, you meant everything. Everything to me. Gone, fading everything. And all that could have been.
Two instruments you play or want to
1. Can't play a damned thing...would love to play the cello.
2. And better piano.
One goal before you die
1. Speak perfect Arabic.
Monday, I made myself get up and do shit, because well, that's what you do on a Monday. After work we ate and showered and what have you and blah blah blah normal Monday stuff, you get it. There are pictures, but I'm only in like one of them, so really, what's the point? But know this: sleeping in a room with three boys who snore will result in waking up at 5 am in a bad mood. Stupid phucing couch.
So Tuesday morning J picked me up at Dennis's and we went to the Ville so she could go to the dentist and I could visit my motha. Thhheeeennnnnn we went to Mind's Eye and yes, we got matching tattoos. =) We wanted little hearts on the inside of our bottom lips but Mark said no so we got 'em on our wrists instead. Yes, they're adorable. No, I'm not going to regret it. Yes, we'll take a picture later today. And yes, this whole tattoo thing is becoming a problem for me. They really are addicting.
So now I'm at the stupid phucing video store. Today was supposed to be the day that I tell bosslady I'm done, but she's avoiding me like the plague so I don't know if that's gonna happen or not. >=( Stupid video store. Honestly.