(no subject)
I feel like everything is pointless and meaningless. Every relationship, every deed has no point, it has no real meaning since my mother left me. I feel everything isn’t real and honestly everything is just on a surface. Any moment I’m left alone or not busy with anything I feel great void, once inspiration is gone darkness comes. I want to feel great love and great fulfillment, the kind I can find in my mother but I can’t find it. I can’t find it anywhere else. No one and no body can sustain that kind of love for me and be an object of my love and responder to my feelings. No one can ever be except for my mother and every longing I feel is a reflection of what could possibly happen if she still was alive.